Patti and the Pottymouth acknowledge the passing of former Yale Baseball Captain George Herbert Walker Bush, who earns major cred for keeping his college glove oiled and ready in a desk drawer in the Oval Office. The Mets make a monster trade for Robinson Cano, leading us to wonder about Brodie Van Wagenen’s reach. Jonathan Schoop, Billy Hamilton, and others get “non-tendered” which is one weird verb. Pottymouth activates “text-a-friend” to identify White Sox boyfriend and nonstop noise machine Yolmer Sanchez. Patti finds herself set up on a blind date with lying-with-exact-figures/power hitter Daniel Palka. Our Venezuelan infielder rut provides Reds BFs Jose Peraza and “Good Guy” Eugenio Suarez. Lastly, we cheer on Steph Curry for using his power for the good of girls and then wish we were surprised by the tone-deaf ugly of the Washington Football Team.