FREE GUIDE TO RECEIVING FEEDBACK - Click here to access

Feedback can sting. "We need to talk." That's enough to tense up your body and make your mind race. Immediately we want to get defensive, and moments later you're either attacking back or shutting down completely. There's a better way.

In this episode, we explore why even the most successful leaders struggle with feedback and reveal the nine-step framework that transforms criticism into rocket fuel for growth.

Episode Summary:

After opening with a powerful reflection on gratitude and the gift of being human (even the uncomfortable parts), this episode tackles one of leadership's most vulnerable moments... being on the receiving end of feedback. Building from the biological reasons our brains interpret criticism as danger to the specific steps that separate defensive leaders from growth-oriented ones, you'll learn how to stay grounded even when feedback comes wrapped in emotions, accusations, or poor delivery. Through real scenarios from coaching sessions and practical frameworks, this episode transforms how you process criticism, extract value from messy feedback, and demonstrate the kind of leadership that builds trust through visible growth.

Key Takeaways:

Why Feedback Triggers Our Defenses:

The Four Automatic Responses to Avoid:

What Makes Leaders Great at Receiving Feedback:

Handling Poorly Delivered Feedback:

The 9-Step Framework:

Episode Highlights:

[00:00] Thanksgiving gratitude reflection [02:30] The gift of experiencing all human emotions [04:00] Introduction to receiving feedback [05:00] Why feedback threatens our identity [06:30] Biological reasons feedback feels like danger [07:45] How self-criticism amplifies feedback pain [09:00] High performers and feedback resistance [10:15] Uncertainty and the discomfort of change [11:30] Four automatic threat responses explained [13:45] The superhuman response to feedback [15:00] Staying with tension as a skill [16:30] Separating identity from work [18:00] Curiosity as the antidote to defensiveness [20:00] Understanding impact versus defending intention [22:00] Viktor Frankl quote on space between stimulus and response [23:30] Finding the gift in messy feedback [25:00] Not all feedback deserves equal weight [27:00] Client example: "You don't care about my project" [29:00] Team example: Strategic pivot backlash [30:30] Responding when feedback is poorly delivered [32:00] Acknowledging emotions without accepting attacks [34:00] When to enforce boundaries [36:00] Post-conversation processing questions [38:00] The 9-step framework begins [40:00] Preparation and positive intent [41:30] The power of taking notes [42:45] Listening to understand [44:00] Pausing and self-coaching [45:30] Acknowledging impact without blame [47:00] Finding the 2% truth [48:30] Creating shared future vision [50:00] Implementation decisions [51:00] Growth through visible action [52:30] Self-kindness as the secret weapon

Memorable Quotes:

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space is your opportunity to choose your reaction."

"The work we do in coaching is superhuman. The human response is to defend. The superhuman response is to use our consciousness to override those automatic responses."

"People who are great at receiving feedback don't need to protect their ego. They need to build their future."

"You don't have to agree with someone's story and you can still respect their experience."

"Your job is not to fix their narrative but to understand the impact you had."

"No matter how the feedback comes, you can turn any feedback into something that helps you grow."

"The most powerful response to feedback is action."

"The criticism that hurts me the most is the judgments I have about myself."

Your Action Steps:

Resources Mentioned:

About This Episode:

This episode transforms the universal discomfort of receiving criticism into a competitive advantage for visionary leaders. Rather than protecting your ego through defense mechanisms that block growth, you'll learn to mine even the messiest feedback for insights that accelerate your development. By understanding the biological and psychological forces at play, then applying the practical nine-step framework, you'll join the ranks of leaders who turn every piece of feedback into fuel for their vision.

Connect with Andrew:

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