Navigating the Return of Your College-Age Kid (Without Losing Your Mind)

I was so focused on the heartbreaking transition of my daughter leaving for university that I completely failed to prepare for the shock of her coming back home.

My house had gotten quieter, with less chaos and less mess, and I found it difficult, in an unexpected way, to welcome her back.

When she returned for a couple of weeks over the holidays, the extra energy, mess, and schedule conflicts — like me going to bed early and her staying up late — made the adjustment a little jarring.

This made me realize we can't just assume things will go back to the way they were, as everybody has changed.

The goal of this phase is to avoid controlling their young adult lives and to shift our role to that of trusted allies and mentors.

Key Takeaways:

• Hear about the three practical things I'm implementing to make the four-month summer transition smoother.

• Why we can't assume things will simply revert to the old way when a young adult child returns home, as everyone has changed, and not acknowledging this can be a recipe for disaster.

• How to initiate discussions before or immediately after they return to address everyone's fears and concerns, including those of their siblings.

• Ways to practice emotional tolerance during family discussions.

• How to rainstorm solutions to prioritize issues, remembering that this is a process of problem-solving and experimentation.

• The invitation to shift your parenting role to a trusted ally and mentor for your young adult.

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Empty Nest Discussion

00:31 Why Kids Move Back after College

01:15 Independence Then vs Now

03:55 Empty Nest Emotions

05:33 The Shock of Homecoming

06:09 Plan Ahead for Summer

08:25 Talk It Out First

11:15 Listen Without Fixing

13:17 Brainstorm and Experiment

14:24 Weekly Family Check Ins

16:44 Extra Parenting Resources

17:49 Mentoring Young Adults

19:45 Final Encouragement and Contact

Link from today's episode:

• Dr. Becky's program and website, Good Inside

• Brené Brown's Parenting Manifesto

• Get in touch for 1:1 therapy

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