Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell dive into the highlights of Lesley’s conversation with Billy Lahr, a Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher with a background in education and behavior change. They explore his perspective on comfort zones, breaking down the difference between being comfortable and becoming complacent, and why growth doesn’t have to come from constant discomfort. From the importance of healthcare directives to the permission gap that keeps women selfless to a fault, this episode challenges you to take a more intentional approach to how you live and show up.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] mailto:[email protected].

 

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In this episode you will learn about:

• Making healthcare decisions in advance using a free online resource.
• How to stretch one's comfort zone to avoid the complacency zone.
• The power of closing the permission gap to stop burnout.
• Why self-prioritization is the key to a grounded, centered life.
• How to leverage curiosity and consistency to build genuine passion.

Episode References/Links:

• FreeWill - freewill.com
• OPC Spring Training (Virtual Event) - opc.me/events   
• 2027 eLevate Mentorship Program - lesleylogan.co/elevate
• Pilates Summer Tour - opc.me/tour
• Folding Pilates Mat - opc.me/foldingmat
• Mindful Midlife Crisis - https://www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com
• Billy Lahr Official Website - https://billylahr.com
• Jump Start Conversation - https://mindfulmidlifecrisis.systeme.io/jumpstartconvo
• Submit Your Questions - beitpod.com/questions

 

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Resources:

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-g
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Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell 0:00  

He's saying we think that when we're selfless, we're quote, unquote correct or right, and then when we are selfish, we're wrong. And what he was saying is, like, those are both actual extremes. Yeah, you know, what if we were grounded or self-centered? Or what if we focus about centered self, not like, in a negative way, but like, how do we—

Lesley Logan 0:23  

I know so—

Brad Crowell 0:24  

How can we be both of those things instead of like, one or the other? 

Lesley Logan 0:28  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

 

Brad Crowell 1:10  

Take it away there, Lesley.

Lesley Logan 1:13  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the thought-provoking convo I had with Billy Lhar in our last episode. 

Brad Crowell 1:21  

Yeah, we are. 

Lesley Logan 1:22  

If you haven't listened to that interview, you should, you could pause this now and hear what I sound like, not with a sinus infection. And then, if you're new, you'll be like, this girl's voice sucks. I can't stand it. And then you'll stick it out. 

Brad Crowell 1:33  

Yeah. 

Lesley Logan 1:34  

You'll stick it out. 

Brad Crowell 1:34  

Stick it out. You will— 

Lesley Logan 1:35  

I promise you—

Brad Crowell 1:36  

You'll do that we believe in you. 

Lesley Logan 1:38  

I promise you, this is not this, too shall pass. What if someone's like, oh, my God, I loved her voice when she had the science affection, and now, when it's gone, like, ugh. 

Lesley Logan 1:50  

Well, today is April 16, 2026 and it's National Healthcare Decisions Day. Huh? Interesting. Let's see where this goes.

Brad Crowell 1:58  

(Laughs)

Lesley Logan 1:59  

This day is observed every year on April 16, the day after tax day interesting as well. Are you aware that there are times you might need to make some decisions about your health care, but be incapacitated to make them? Oh, this is an interesting okay, I thought I felt like the health insurance companies, but this is about us—

Brad Crowell 2:13  

No. 

Lesley Logan 2:14  

This is—

Brad Crowell 2:14  

This is about in personal health care decisions that we can make. 

Lesley Logan 2:17  

This day is set aside to help you take care of those potential situations ahead of time is a day for patients or healthcare receivers to make known to health professionals the kind of adequate care they wish to receive and have those wishes respected and met. Well, whether they'll be respected and met, are different stories in the United States healthcare situation, but I do agree we Brad and I are supposed to have sat down his parents are going to annoy us until we do and actually, like, talk about our Do Not Resuscitate stuff and all that. 

Brad Crowell 2:44  

Yeah. It's like, called advanced direction, or something—

Lesley Logan 2:47  

Directive?

Brad Crowell 2:48  

Direct, yeah, Advanced Directive. Maybe that's it. Yeah. So we've been on a healthcare tour, and we've been— 

Lesley Logan 2:53  

We are using the insurance we pay for. 

Brad Crowell 2:57  

We absolutely are—

Lesley Logan 2:58  

We are annoying the hell out of them. We are going to use every benefit they say we pay for. 

Brad Crowell 3:03  

Well, it's also not like a fast, quick decision. We started doing this, like, I don't know, 18 months ago? 

Lesley Logan 3:09  

Oh yeah, it says it's taken you 18 months to get the results you got today. 

Brad Crowell 3:13  

I'm not even kidding, it's insane to me. 

Lesley Logan 3:15  

(Laughs) There's nothing wrong with you. 

Brad Crowell 3:15  

Yeah, they were like, hey, everything's good up there. Your brain. I'm like, well, that makes me feel good, but what the heck it took that long anyway? Yeah, it's been a it's been a whirlwind, and we've been learning a lot of things. Just like you have a last will and testament, you also need to have something called an, I'm looking up now to get the exact phrasing of it. But like, what the last will test—

Lesley Logan 3:40  

You have to do it when you, like, do surgeries and stuff like that. So you have to, you should talk with your partners and your families about your wishes. 

Brad Crowell 3:46  

Yeah, it's called a living will, or an Advanced Directive. It's a legal document for healthcare that outlines your treatment preferences if you become incapacitated— 

Lesley Logan 3:56  

Oh, I, let me just tell you, you guys want to go on a journey. Because I remember, I remember, oh, my God, what was her name? It's not in my head, because I'm on Dayquil, but when I grew up, I remember she was on the cover of every tabloid magazine, and her husband was made out to be this big villain because he wanted to pull the plug. 

Brad Crowell 4:14  

Oh, in Florida, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 4:17  

Oh, you guys want to, okay, you're listening to a podcast. Go to the You're Wrong About Series. Go all the way back to the beginning. They have what is that woman's Sherry? Sherry. It's coming. Tyvo. Sherry Tyvo. Sherry Livo? Sherry—

Brad Crowell 4:33  

Tyvan? 

Lesley Logan 4:33  

No, Sherry Tyvo 

Brad Crowell 4:37  

Coma case.

Lesley Logan 4:38  

In Florida in the 90s.

Brad Crowell 4:43  

Terry. T Y—

Lesley Logan 4:44  

Terri Schiavo! 

Brad Crowell 4:45  

Schiavo. 

Lesley Logan 4:46  

Not I had, oh my God!

Brad Crowell 4:47  

You did. You had it backwards. 

Lesley Logan 4:48  

Woah! I had Sherry Tyvo. 

Brad Crowell 4:50  

(Inaudible)

Lesley Logan 4:50  

And it's Terri Schiavo. You guys, the more Adderall I am, the more dislikes like I think I am. I think it's just showing that I am okay. So, Terri Schiavo, her, go listen to You're Wrong About. That husband was not the villain that the tabloids made him out to be, and her family made it out to be, and then the Bush Administration got involved, became this whole Supreme Court thing. And let me just tell you, they, people in this country will keep you on life support against your will. It happened to the black woman Atlanta who was forced to stay, this happened in the last year. Her family was forced to keep her on life support because she was six months pregnant. Then they made her stay on life support until the baby was viable, to live without her at the time we're recording this, that baby is still in the NICU cannot survive on its own. So we need laws that protect people, and then we need advanced directives, because what we don't want is the government getting involved. That's what you don't want. I mean that this is not a very uplifting conversation. So go (Laughs)

Brad Crowell 5:52  

Let's, let's, let's shift back to how we can take care of this for yourself, like today's about making a decision for yourself. So there's a couple different things that you can do. You can, you know, if you have been meaning to make that doctor's appointment, just do it today's the day do it. Set aside a little bit of time today to, like, actually get the ball rolling. Because the problem, like, I know what the problem is. The problem is that it never is fast. You call, it's freaking voicemail. Like, like, nothing seems to flow. And so you have to call back 10 times. I literally had to drive across the street to this doctor's office two times to schedule my fucking appointment. It's insane. So I understand how frustrating that can be, but if you don't start now, it will never happen. 

Lesley Logan 6:33  

Well, you won't have you won't have the team in place when you need them. And I will say, like in our journey of making sure that we have a team of healthcare professionals that are local, I have been able to find doctors that actually give a fuck, like my my gynecologist, who does my my hormone treatment in Vegas. She gives such a fuck that I have a breast doctor. That breast doctor has me on an MRI next week, and then in six months, I'm mammogram, and that's where I'm at until and then she'll and then she's gonna get me to the plastic surgeon to talk about my options. Like they will help advocate for you if you really do advocate for yourself. Like I found, like, it's kind of amazing when you get into it. Now, do I have what I complained when I said, I hate this imaging place. She's like, just drive there and make the appointment. It's faster. And I was like, are you kidding me? But it is. She's like, it's just fast, it's just the way it has to go. I know in the year of our Lord 2026, but it is what it is. And here's another trick for your doctor's office. Call billing, billing. Billing always answers. 

Brad Crowell 7:32  

Billing always answers. 

Lesley Logan 7:33  

So my gynecologist, before I leave. I always say, when you want to see me again, because I'm just gonna book it on my way out, because that's the best thing. And she's like, it is the best thing. I said, oh, you want to what the other hack is, it's just like, is? And she's like, what I said, my assistant calls billing, they always answer. And she goes, oh my God. She's like, you are crazy, but she loves me. So what I highly recommend take the steps it becomes, it's like, part of your adulting life. Pick an hour every week to do adulting, and you'll be glad you did, because things will happen and you're not going to want to be up the creek without a paddle. 

Brad Crowell 8:02  

Yeah, you're not going to be up the Advanced Health Care Directive without a paddle. I was just poking around, and there is a very interesting free service provider that will do Last Will and Testament, Revocable Living Trust, Advanced Health Care Directive, Power of Attorney, and it's called freewill.com. 

Lesley Logan 8:24  

That's crazy. 

Brad Crowell 8:25  

They do not sponsor us, but I think it's pretty amazing. And they actually have, I was just poking around, they actually have, like, a guided for last will and testament. They have a guided will maker that covers all 50 states. 

Lesley Logan 8:37  

You know who I need to interview. I interview a will maker. How do we be it till we see it in this Advanced Directive? Like— 

Brad Crowell 8:43  

That'll be cool. 

Lesley Logan 8:43  

What is that like? What are all the things I need to know? What should be in my will? Who should not be in my will? You know all that stuff.

Brad Crowell 8:50  

And well. And then FreeWill also has for the advanced directive of healthcare stuff. They have a free one that's also guided through all the all the states. So they, they seem to have their shit together. They're actually funded by— 

Lesley Logan 9:00  

If you're in a different country I have no idea how to help you there, but—

Brad Crowell 9:02  

They're funded by a nonprofit or a charity, so they're totally free, pretty crazy. 

Lesley Logan 9:06  

Wow. 

Brad Crowell 9:06  

Yeah. 

Lesley Logan 9:07  

Okay. The skeptic in me is like, who is funding this? 

Brad Crowell 9:10  

(Laughs) 

Lesley Logan 9:10  

The Peter Thiel—

Brad Crowell 9:11  

Yeah, right? 

Lesley Logan 9:12  

(Laughs)

Brad Crowell 9:13  

About FreeWill, who we are— 

Lesley Logan 9:15  

This is really what they're interested in. They're like, dying to know. 

Brad Crowell 9:18  

Yeah, right? 

Lesley Logan 9:18  

But you have to look up these things, because there is a nonprofit organization that's about, like, like, it sounds like it's about keeping kids from being online too early, but really, it's actually owned by meta, and their whole thing is to get your kids information early, and so they can, I know, so you gotta, you gotta look at these things you don't know. Now, I sound like a tin hat person, but you gotta look. 

Brad Crowell 9:41  

Yeah, so they have nonprofit partners. It doesn't. It's not really that clear, but—

Lesley Logan 9:45  

Use it your own risk. 

Brad Crowell 9:46  

We'll figure that out. You know.

Lesley Logan 9:47  

You, you know, be thoughtful. All right. Well, that's that at least gives you an actual step to be it till you see it in your advanced directive. And I know it comes after tax day. And look, no one likes taxes. But the reality is, is, if you vote in your primaries for the people that you think will to put your tax dollars to work the way you want. You have a better chance of getting that in the major part in November. So go vote. Primaries are happening all over the place right now as we speak, and so please go take care of that. Okay. 

Brad Crowell 10:17  

1,000% 

Lesley Logan 10:18  

Yes! 

Lesley Logan 10:19  

So important.

Lesley Logan 10:19  

 I know. 

Brad Crowell 10:20  

All right, let's shift gears here. So coming up next, we got spring training happening in May, May 12 through 17th. So if you want to do Pilates at home, we're going to be going upside down in a bunch of different ways, with some really fun classes led by all the OPC team. And if you want information about that, it's probably already available for you to jump into— 

Lesley Logan 10:39  

Oh yeah, you can sign up right now.

Brad Crowell 10:40  

But go to opc.me/events, opc.me/events. Also eLevate 2027 we have only a few spots left. I think it's possible that they're already sold out. But if you were really interested in a deep dive of classical Pilates with Lesley, it's a nine month mentorship program for certified Pilates teachers. We're going to be kicking it off in January next year. Learn more about that at lesleylogan.co/elevate. Lesleylogan.co/elevate. And you and I can hop on a call. We'd love to explain more about it with you. And then finally, we have summer tour coming up. 

Lesley Logan 11:14  

I know that's so crazy. It's going it's a fast. 

Brad Crowell 11:16  

it's a bit ahead of schedule here. That's in August. 

Lesley Logan 11:19  

If it's in August, we open the doors in May. 

Brad Crowell 11:21  

So that's exciting. We can't wait. It's gonna be awesome this year. We have a different route. I was just reviewing it with the team. We're going to be going, like, directly across the country, straight across all the way to Tennessee and back. So we're doing, like, a big, long oval in the middle of the country, hitting—

Lesley Logan 11:35  

We're not going to go up into the Michigan?

Brad Crowell 11:37  

We're not I was, I was—

Lesley Logan 11:39  

We lied to everybody. 

Brad Crowell 11:40  

We lied to everyone last week and the week and the week before. Yeah, 100% we are hitting Dallas, though we're gonna catch that on the way back. 

Lesley Logan 11:46  

Okay, I feel like a little sad for our Chicago Michiganders, you know. 

Brad Crowell 11:52  

Yeah, I definitely—

Brad Crowell 11:53  

All those people. 

Brad Crowell 11:54  

Well, we were just there in September in Chicago.

Lesley Logan 11:56  

I know, but it's not. We weren't in Minneapolis. 

Brad Crowell 11:59  

We will work it out. We'll work it out. But this tour is going across the country, and, yeah, but, but come join us if you're able to, you know, find out all the information at opc.me/tour. 

Lesley Logan 12:08  

I'm really excited! I realize I didn't sound as excited as I am. I'm just, I like, I had it in my head that we were, like, doing the middle, and we're doing a different middle. 

Lesley Logan 12:18  

We are doing the middle.

Lesley Logan 12:19  

 It wasn't clear. I wasn't clear— 

Brad Crowell 12:20  

Yeah it's a different middle—

Lesley Logan 12:21  

I manifested the wrong oval. 

Brad Crowell 12:23  

(Laughs)

Lesley Logan 12:23  

Okay, noted for next time. Well, before we get into the episode, what is the question of the week? 

Lesley Logan 12:30  

Yeah, so, okay, this is from advocate_pilates on Instagram. She asked, Hey, Lesley, what mat do you use? Does it have good grip, and do you use it for Mat Pilates? Yeah, yeah. So I don't I have a mat that's just for Pilates, and I have a mat that's for yoga, and that's intentional. They are two different practices. They require two different needs. So I use a contrology mat for Pilates. It has a firm density, which doesn't mean it's hard as a rock. It's actually quite great for when you roll on it, you don't have to worry about, like, touching the floor or anything like that, but it's firm enough to do plank so your wrists don't have any issues, and shoulders have any issues. And we have an incredible affiliate link that you can use to get a discount on that mat as handles. 

Brad Crowell 13:11  

It's opc.me/foldingmat, foldingmat. 

Lesley Logan 13:16  

And as far as, like, good grip, I'm imagining you mean on the floor. And so what I would say is, like, I you probably would put a pad down if you had hardwood floors, because there is, like, some metal on the bottom that you don't want to scratch your hardwood floors, and that would keep it from sliding around. Pretty much any mat. You should all be mindful of stepping on mats on hardwood floors, because a lot of mats will slip around. So even if they have good grip with your skin. They always have good grip on the hardwood floors. We have tile and we have a rug. So it doesn't slide around on our tile. It doesn't slide around our rugs. It is a heavy duty. 

Brad Crowell 13:49  

I mean, it's, it weighs like, you know, 20 pounds. 

Brad Crowell 13:52  

Oh, yeah. 

Brad Crowell 13:53  

It's not light, yeah. It's not like a, it's not a, this is not a yoga mat.

Lesley Logan 13:56  

No, no, no. So Dan, so I it is an investment. But to me, your mat practice is something you're going to do forever, and it's something, well, this mat, you'll buy one, and you'll have it forever, and there's that. So that's what's really great. Versus my yoga mat.

Brad Crowell 14:09  

Buy one get that one forever,

Lesley Logan 14:11  

Get one forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Versus my yoga mats that I inevitably have to replace even every 10 years because they start to just fall apart, Yep, yeah.

Brad Crowell 14:21  

Well, if you have a question, ping us. Let us know. Send us a text. 310-905-5534, or, you know, and easier is go to be it pod.com/questions we can leave us either a win or a question. We are looking forward to getting those from you so we can celebrate your wins on Fuck Yeah Friday, fuck yeah. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna start chatting about Billy Lhar.

Brad Crowell 14:46  

All right, let's talk about Billy Lahr. Billy is the creator and host of the Mindful Midlife Crisis podcast and a Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher with a background in education and behavior change. He spent over two decades working in education, including Leadership roles before stepping away in 2021 since then, Billy's focused on coaching and consulting while living and working internationally. Definitely describes himself as a nomad. He also facilitates the Jump Start, Jump Start Conversation Series, a free weekly conversation space that's relaxed and collaborative, where coaches often join to connect with peers and share perspectives without the pressure of performing. We're gonna put the link for that in the signup notes below. So if you're interested in that, if that's something that you know you want, like a support group kind of vibe or just a hangout community, sesh, you know, go check that out.

Lesley Logan 15:31  

Yeah, I think this is really fun. I love that. He said he's not a fan of getting out of your comfort zone to grow. I think that's great. It's like— 

Brad Crowell 15:40  

He said, fuck that. I've been working hard to get into my comfort zone.

Lesley Logan 15:42  

Yeah, I resonate with that. Because, like, so many of us are, like, trying to figure out who we are. And so, like, it's kind of hard to, like, figure who you are and then get out of your comfort zone if you don't who you are. And but he said to be cautious when we get into the complacency zone. 

Brad Crowell 15:56  

Yeah, I thought that was a cool term—

Lesley Logan 15:57  

I think that's, I think that that's really, we see that happen all the time with people who teach Pilates, like, sometimes they just get like, they're just like, going through the motions. And, you know, they it's not that they lost their zest for it, but something kind of happened along the way. Maybe they were restricted in too many ways, and they're just like, okay, I'm just gonna do this. But there's no it's okay to be in your comfort zone. Just notice, if you're in your complacency zone, what a great thing. He also suggested, like expanding your life from within, rather than forcing yourself into discomfort from the outside. And I mean, I think, look, here's the deal. We do understand that, like diamonds are made from pressure, and stressing your bones is how you make healthy bones, and stressing your muscles is how you make healthy muscles, like all that stuff is very, very true, but I do think that some people are constant, like, like, they're constantly putting themselves into experiences that maybe is too much, that they're going like, you're doing too much working out, or you're doing too much stress on the bones, and so you're never actually reaping the rewards and the benefits of those things. And so he actually likened it to you you stretch your comfort zone, like pizza dough from the inside. 

Brad Crowell 17:04  

Yeah, I thought that was really interesting. I like the vision, he said. He said, Only heathens pull your pizza dough. You have to press it from the middle. You got to press it from the inside to expand your pizza dough.

Lesley Logan 17:14  

Yeah, that's why. But I think that just goes—

Brad Crowell 17:16  

Before we got talking with pizza zone. I want to just define complacency zone, because, you know, comfort zone versus complacency zone, Comfort, he's his argument is that it's okay to be in your comfort zone, but you can get complacent once you get there. And I look, I was just thinking about it, it's like a stagnant place. It's where you're stuck, you know, and you're you're also, it's not just that you're stuck, but you're also, like, unwilling to change. You are resisting change, right? And you're relying on familiar, outdated routines. So, you know, I think that there's definitely a difference between being in the comfort zone and being in a complacency zone. But I do like this the analogy of, like, stretching like a pizza dough, you know?

Lesley Logan 17:54  

Yeah, I do too. Pilate is all about moving from your center outward. And I also think, like, sometimes people are easy to just go, Well, I'm just gonna change the outside. I'm gonna change from the outside in versus the inside out. 

Brad Crowell 18:05  

Yeah. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 18:06  

Because a lot of the things you get marketed to are, like, outside, exterior, like, you know, what do you call it? Like external things or physical things? It's not necessarily like getting to know who you are. And so I think that there's something about, you know, it's not, I don't think he's advocating that you just like, sit around in your comfy couch and just like, chill out. But I do think it goes back to like, how we coach studios, like, we want your business to be a little boring, not that you're complacent, but that it's predictable, right? That that it's okay to be in a comfortable place with your business, that it's predictable in its seasons, you'll still have to keep learning. There'll still be new tools to know. There's still going to be things out there that are going to stress you in a different way, but you don't have to find new ways to challenge yourself and get outside your comfort zone all the time. You can. You can actually have some predictability there, as long as you're not complacent. I like it.

Brad Crowell 18:53  

Yeah. So, you know, when he was talking about pushing back against negative, this idea of being selfish, I was laughing so hard, because we've been talking about this for a long time, that self-care isn't selfish, and I really loved that we're not the only one talking about it. He said, there's not necessarily something wrong with being selfish if you've been overly selfless, right? Like, because I think we get into this, you two are really digging in, you know? And he's saying, you know, we, we think that when we're selfless, we're quote, unquote correct or right, and then when we are selfish, we're wrong, right. And what he was saying is, like, those are both actual extremes. Yeah, you know, what if we were grounded or self centered? Or, what if we focus about centered self, not like, in a negative way, but like, how do we— 

Lesley Logan 19:49  

I know, so—

Brad Crowell 19:50  

How can we be both of those things instead of like, one or the other?

Lesley Logan 19:53  

I know, I think, like, because self centered has such a negative connotation, but like, a centered self is, like, whelmed, right? Like—

Lesley Logan 19:59  

Yeah. 

Lesley Logan 20:00  

So if, like, selfless and self-ish are overwhelmed and underwhelmed, right, then centered self would be whelmed, right?

Brad Crowell 20:07  

It'd be right in the middle and and that allows you to protect yourself, you know, to put yourself first in some situations and then in others still, of course, you know, serve others, and that's good. But—

Lesley Logan 20:20  

We have, we have a series coming out about like, giving yourself permission to become whatever it is that you want to be. And there's actually, like, this term called the permission gap that I get into in the episode series that I created. And it's actually all because the way society is is it raises women to feel that they are selfish if they prioritize themselves first, yeah, and so they must care for everyone else's needs ahead of their own, and then they can care for themselves. But there's no time after doing all that—

Brad Crowell 20:49  

That's, that's just illogical. It's not sustainable. 

Lesley Logan 20:52  

Right. 

Brad Crowell 20:53  

What, what ends up happening is, you're burnt out? 

Lesley Logan 20:55  

Yeah. 

Brad Crowell 20:55  

Yeah. 

Brad Crowell 20:55  

There's a reason why. Like, speaking of Healthcare Advocacy Day, there is a reason why you can actually pay for some way that your health insurance pays someone to take care of you, because it is impossible for someone, or most people, in your life, to take off of work to care for you. There's a reason why we have home health aides, right? Because we—

Brad Crowell 21:15  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 21:15  

We do live in a world where like you can't just like care for other people all the time at the expense of your own self?

Brad Crowell 21:22  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the that's the key. That's true. Well, you know, anyway, I just thought they were great topics. So stick around. We'll be right back. We got some really fun BE IT action items from Billy Lhar as well. So we'll be right back.

Brad Crowell 21:36  

Alright, so finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Billy Lhar. He said he rejects the standard social question of, like, what do you do? And I found this really intriguing, because I love that what do you do is an open ended question, and I'm always interested, I asked that's exactly the question that I ask, what do you do? Because what people how they respond to that question tells me a lot, because when they turn around and say, what do I do? I say, I sleep a lot, or I play video games or, you know, but what they're implying with the question is, what do you do for work? So that's kind of interesting to me, but I loved that he like, he's like, no, screw that. Because people always answer with what do they do for work, which is, is boring. And I thought that was—

Lesley Logan 22:22  

Not what I do for work, but, you know, but other people are boring. (Laughs)

Brad Crowell 22:26  

No, but he. here's the thing, effectively, he doesn't want to talk about what he does for work, because he said, he said, I was an English teacher. That's boring, you know. So, you know, what he started doing instead was asking people different questions, and he said they often were like, like shocking or eye opening, or like, whoa, you're we don't even know each other, and you're asking me this kind of question. And he said he the question he likes to leave with is, what are 10 roles that you play in your life, 10 roles that you play in your life, right?

Lesley Logan 22:56  

Yeah, yeah. I think I would make it three. I feel like I don't want to sit there long enough (inaudible)—

Brad Crowell 23:01  

First five are always the same. What are your 10 roles? I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a husband. Whatever. He said, It's always that crap. But then once they get through that crap, then they have to tell you something interesting about themselves. What like because they run out of they run out of the obvious things. So then they think about it, and then they have to tell you something. So that's, I think that might be part of why it's 10. He argues that a person's value and interest lie in the various roles that they play outside of those standard things. Like, I'm a paddle boarder. I'm this, I'm a, you know, like, I'm a, I'm a long haul driver for when we go on tour. I'm a I sit behind a booth. I'm a boother. (Laughs)

Lesley Logan 23:44  

(Laughs)

Brad Crowell 23:47  

Just making shit up here. He said, he said, also, you know, it helps, because you're not just one thing in your life, and so it like battles complacency when you're when, when you're engaging people on these other things that they're excited about. So—

Lesley Logan 24:02  

Yeah, I think that's cool, I guess, I guess you're right. You have to go to 10. That's just a big question. If I don't know if I want to talk to that person for that long. 

Brad Crowell 24:10  

Yeah, I feel like that makes sense.

Lesley Logan 24:11  

He's clearly interested in people, and I'm like, I you know, we can go. 

Brad Crowell 24:15  

What about you? 

Lesley Logan 24:16  

I, okay, so he said, follow your passion is complete and utter nonsense. 

Brad Crowell 24:21  

(Laughs)

Lesley Logan 24:21  

I think this is so funny. 

Brad Crowell 24:23  

I liked his logic here. I thought this was pretty awesome actually. 

Lesley Logan 24:26  

He said, and I think this is helpful, because, like, people are always like, what am I passionate about? Like, what's my hobby? Like this—

Brad Crowell 24:31  

Yeah, what should I do? 

Lesley Logan 24:32  

What should I do for like, passion is not a starting point. Passion is a byproduct of this formula. Step one, figure out what you are good at and your strengths. So we have had many a strength finder type coach on here. Oh yeah, so you can go talk to any of them. They are so many. From day one of this podcast, there's been so many. And then he said, jumps he has— 

Brad Crowell 24:54  

He's got a workbook. 

Lesley Logan 24:54  

He's a workhouse, workbook called Jump Start Your Midlife Workbook, and you could take that. So that's part of step one. Got to figure out what you're good at, what are your strengths? Step two, what are you curious about, and how can you leverage those skills and those strengths to learn more? So there's a Venn diagram I'm imagining. This is how I picture it, your skills, your strengths, and what you're curious about. And then dude in the middle, there's like you. And then you take that to find a community. So find people you can connect with, and they'll help you. That will help you identify your purpose. Because even if you don't like them, you'll go, I don't like that. That's not my purpose. And then in then, if you want to turn that purpose into a passion, you just multiply that by consistency, discipline, patience and self-compassion. So then you you put, you know, fuel to that fire.

Brad Crowell 25:38  

Yeah, and I think that he emphasized the last two and that the patience and self-compassion— 

Lesley Logan 25:45  

Oh yeah. 

Brad Crowell 25:45  

So like when you want to turn something that you're good at into your passion, he said, you need to multiply it by consistency, discipline, patience and self-compassion. And he said, most people, we've all heard you know consistency, persistent and consistent, be persistent and consistent, you know, which, which obviously also means discipline. But he said, we always skip the patience and self-compassion part of it. 

Lesley Logan 26:10  

Yeah.

Brad Crowell 26:11  

Because you're gonna fail and it's also not gonna happen overnight, whatever it might be. 

Lesley Logan 26:15  

Yep.

Brad Crowell 26:15  

You know.

Lesley Logan 26:16  

Yep. I agree. I think radical self-compassion is important.

Brad Crowell 26:21  

Radical self-compassion.

Lesley Logan 26:22  

Yes. 

Brad Crowell 26:23  

I dig it.

Lesley Logan 26:23  

Yes. Just like radical responsibility. That's my right, my favorite phrase right now, I want more people to take it. Um, you guys, I'm Lesley Logan and I'm Brad Crowell. This sinus infection will pass and, but not on next week's episode. So just a heads up. We got one more and, but we're working on it. You know we are, and I appreciate your patience and the self-compassion I'm having for myself and the compassion you're having for me. Send his episode, or this one to a friend who needs to hear it. Send your be it pod wins and and your questions into beitpod.com What does it beitpod.com/questions Yeah. Send them there. And until next time, be it till you see it. 

Brad Crowell 26:56  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 26:58  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

 

Brad Crowell 27:40  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

 

Lesley Logan 27:45  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

 

Brad Crowell 27:49  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

 

Lesley Logan 27:57  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

 

Brad Crowell 28:00  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

  

Brad Crowell 28:13  

All right, let's talk about Billy Lhar. Billy is the creator and host of the Mindfulness, Mindful Midknife (inaudible).

Lesley Logan 28:18  

(Laughs)

Brad Crowell 28:18  

(Inaudible). Starting over.

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