In this episode of the Happier Holidays miniseries, I'm exploring a foundational question that we often skip right over: What does "happier" actually mean to you? Before we can create the holiday season we truly want, we need to get specific about what we're working toward—and that requires some intentional dreaming.

I'll guide you through a visualization exercise to imagine your ideal holiday season, help you identify the internal parts (like "Cynical Sally") that might try to shut down your dreaming, and challenge you to get specific about what happiness actually looks, feels, and sounds like for you during this season.

Key Points

• Moving beyond the generic goal of "being happy" to get specific about what a happier holiday season actually means for you
• The importance of having a clear vision—if you don't know what you want, how can you work toward it?
• Using your imagination to dream into your ideal holiday scenario: floating through the season in your mind and noticing what makes it feel good
• Recognizing the protective parts of yourself (like "Cynical Sally" or "Inner Beth") that try to squash your dreams with "realistic" objections
• Learning to acknowledge these cynical parts while asking them to step aside: "Can we just dream a little bit?"
• Understanding that these protective parts keep us in what's familiar because familiar feels safe—even when it keeps us stuck
• Getting specific about your vision using all five senses: What does your happier holiday look, taste, sound, feel, and smell like?
• Recognizing that happiness is a spectrum—from quiet contentment to euphoric joy—not just the big moments
• The contentment side of the happiness spectrum is often happening around us but we're missing it, and it's much easier to create than euphoric moments
• Asking yourself: "Who do I need to become to have this happier holiday?"
• Becoming the person for whom a happy holiday is non-negotiable—someone who knows they deserve and are worthy of the holiday they dream of

Quotes

"What do you want? No, but what do you really want?"

"Half the time we want, or we think we want to be happier and to have a happier holiday. But like what do you really want? Like what does that mean?"

"If I don't have this awareness with her and give her an option, these parts of ourselves—they're so rooted in their protection of us—they wanna keep us in what's familiar because what's familiar is safe."

"If you can imagine it, it is possible. If the dream is in you, it is for you."

"You want to be the person where a happy holiday is non-negotiable for you. That's just what you do."

"When I do this exercise and I think about happier holidays, it really doesn't have anything to do with the big, monumental, euphoric experiences. It has everything to do with the quiet moments."

Resources Mentioned

• Take the Inner Voice Quiz: theschoolofmom.com/quiz - Discover your dominant inner voice that gets in the way of thriving: http://theschoolofmom.com/quiz 
• Join The School of MOM: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlist
• Send Sarah your voice note right here! https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmom 

What's Coming Next

Next week, I'll be diving into the science of happiness—exploring what happiness actually is from a research perspective, and how understanding the specifics can help us create our happier holidays. I'll be sharing insights from my early work as a therapist when I developed Project 40 at Wentworth, a happiness initiative that won a college association award.

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

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