If you come from a Judeo-Christian background or watch the anime series on Netflix, you’ve heard the term “seven deadly sins”. The concept originated in the 3rd century by a religious monk, Evagrius Ponticus. It is featured in literary works including the Canterbury Tales and Dante’s Inferno. The seven deadly sins are: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, anger, and sloth.

Lately, I have been working with individuals who are either going through divorce, or dealing with post-divorce problems. Having experienced divorce several years ago, I understand it on personal and professional levels. Divorce is an emotionally painful process. It is something you want to avoid if possible. Here are some of the challenges divorced couples face.

* Death of a marriage.

* Facing the unknown.

* Negotiating transition.

* Impact on the children.

* Dealing with residual anger and hurt.

* Transition of home, in-law relationships, friends, etc…

* Financial matters.

If your marriage does end, don’t make your life harder by falling prey to the seven deadly sins of divorce. Giving in to these temptations will hinder your recovery and have a negative effect on you and your children (if you have them).

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The deadly sin of envy or gloating

I call these the “combo sin” because they tend to go hand-in-hand. Being envious of your former spouse’s life post-divorce does you harm. Gloating in their misfortune has little value. Yielding to these temptations will have a negative effect on your self-esteem. Envy makes you feel bad about yourself. Gloating is feeling good at the expense of your ex. I’m sure there are more healthy ways to feel good about yourself.

The deadly sin of bitterness

Entertain envy too long and it morphs into bitterness. Once this sin gets a grip on you, it puts your future on hold. Unchecked bitterness commandeers your head and heart. It robs you of the happiness you deserve. Furthermore, bitterness gives your former spouse passive control over your life. He/she may be moving forward but you are lagging behind holding on to something that is only hurting you.

The deadly sin of vengeance

If you’ve ever seen the movie, The War of the Roses, you have an idea of the destructive nature of vengeance. Attempting to get payback on an ex-spouse is dangerous on multiple levels. It may give you temporary pleasure to embarrass or shame him/her publicly, but it can also make you look bad too.

Vengeance is a distraction from moving forward. It elicits more drama and makes you look weak. In more extreme cases, I know people who sought vengeance end up facing legal troubles or incarceration. If your ex-spouse treated you wrong, and you want justice, let karma take care of it. Or as the Bible states, “Vengeance is mine says the Lord.”

The deadly sin of indoctrinating children

Hopefully you understand the deadly effect unchecked sins have in your life. Now let’s take it to an even deeper level. Indoctrinating your kids into your view of the ex-spouse is a deadly sin. They did not divorce a parent. You divorced each other.

Your children cannot handle the weight of your emotional burden. Please do not put this on them! Telling kids your version of the story or allowing them to be within hearing distance of you talking to someone else is harmful to them. It is psychologically and emotionally damaging. Furthermore, it pressures them to choose their loyalty.

I know some may argue that the ex-spouse was abusive, addicted, or did other harmful things that destroyed the mar...