#2: Agree to not spend more than you earn during an average pay period

Develop the skill of saying “no” to yourself if it falls out of the parameters of what you agreed together to spend.

#3: If necessary, meet with a financial planner to establish a budget

If you cannot figure it out together or if you’re in a an endless cycle of conflict you need a third party to help. Don’t put it off. You will feel much better when you have a collaborated plan!

#4: Deal with your demons

If you have an addiction to gambling or spending get some help. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can stop on your own. If you lied or betrayed your spouse, own it and repair it.

#5: Make allowances for allowances

Couples work hard to earn income and provide for a family. As I said earlier, kids are expensive! Be that as it may, I recommend you make allowances for each of you to have an allowance on spending. This is non-discretionary money you can spend on yourself. Amounts should be discussed and based on your budget.

#6: Create a line item budget for marital investment

Notice I underscored investment. Your marriage needs time for enrichment. Allocate money for dates, activities, and occasional getaways.

#7: Think microscope (hear and now) and telescope (long-term future)

Years ago I worked with a couple who had some challenges in their views about money management. She was always worried about the current budget. He worried about the future. I said you have a microscope and telescope view. They agree both were important and needed equal “viewing”. I like their approach.

Now it’s your turn

Is money making a mess out of your marriage? What steps are you willing to take?