In the final episode of our three-part HappIER Holiday series, we dive into the science of happiness - because while feeling all your emotions and getting clear on what happiness means to you are foundational, understanding what actually makes us happier is where transformation happens. Recording outside on a 20-degree December day, I share the research-backed truth that might surprise you: only 10% of your happiness comes from circumstances, while a full 40% is within your control through daily habits and practices.

Key Points

• Why 50% of your happiness is genetic (your set point), but epigenetics means you can influence gene expression through environment and practices
• The happiness trap of "I'll be happy when..." and why only 10% of happiness is circumstantial
• Understanding affective forecasting: why humans are terrible at predicting future feelings
• Hedonic adaptation and why we return to our baseline happiness after getting the new shiny thing (or new life circumstance)
• The surprising research on money and happiness: there's a threshold where basic needs are met, after which spending matters more than earning
• Why having kids doesn't boost overall happiness (even though it brings moments of joy)
• The 40% solution: science-backed strategies proven to increase happiness that are entirely within your control
• The gap between knowing what's good for you and actually doing it - and why fierce self-compassion is the bridge

The 13+ Science-Backed Happiness Strategies

1. Mindfulness - The foundation woven into all other strategies
2. Gratitude - Expressing gratitude and having a gratitude practice
3. Nurturing relationships - Being intentional about who you spend time with
4. Savoring life's joys - Slowing down to really savor moments
5. Finding meaning - Looking for opportunities for growth and learning in every experience
6. Developing healthier coping strategies - Moving beyond scrolling and stress-eating to more nourishing practices
7. Avoiding overthinking and social comparison - Getting curious about these parts rather than fighting them
8. Practicing compassion and self-compassion - The road all mindfulness leads to
9. Leaning on signature strengths - Identifying and utilizing your top strengths
10. Forgiveness - Releasing resentment for your own wellbeing
11. Doing activities that engage you (Flow) - Finding what makes you lose track of time
12. Taking care of your body - In ways that honor your current season and stage
13. Optimism - Looking on the bright side (or "holloing" it, as my dad would say!)
14. Committing to your goals - Getting clear on what you want and working toward it
15. Faith and spirituality - Connecting to something bigger than yourself

Quotes

"We don't need to feel better. We need to get better at feeling." - Gabor Maté

"Happiness is really an inside job."

"There is a gap between what you know is good for you, what brings you happiness, and what you're actually doing."

"Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself."

"Life is happening for us, not to us."

"You're the product of the people you spend the most time with."

"We cannot practice mindfulness authentically without practicing kindness and compassion. All roads lead to self-compassion."

Resources Mentioned

• Project 40 happiness initiative at Wentworth Institute of Technology: https://sites.wit.edu/witdeans/archives/311 
• Sonja Lyubomirsky - happiness researcher: https://thehowofhappiness.com/ 
• Martin Seligman - UPenn positive psychology researcher: https://ppc.sas.upenn.edu/people/martin-ep-seligman 
• Kristin Neff - self-compassion.org: https://self-compassion.org/ 
• VIA Character Strengths Assessment (free): https://www.viacharacter.org/ 
• Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - Flow research: https://mlpp.pressbooks.pub/mavlearn/chapter/flow-theory/ 
• Take the Inner Voice Quiz - Discover your dominant inner voice: http://theschoolofmom.com/quiz 
• Join The School of MOM: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlist 
• Send Sarah your voice note right here!: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmom

Series Recap

Episode 1: Feeling It All - We don't need to feel better, we need to get better at feeling. To feel happiness deeply, we must also feel sadness, grief, and all 87 emotions (not just the 3 most people can name).

Episode 2: Getting Clear on What You Want - Before you can create happiness, you need to know what it actually looks, feels, and smells like for you. Specificity matters.

Episode 3: The Science of Happiness - Understanding the research behind what actually makes us happier and implementing science-backed strategies that fit your life.

Thank you for joining us for this three-part Happier Holidays series. Which happiness strategy resonates most with you? Send me a voice note and let me know!

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!

www.theschoolofmom.com

Instagram @the.schoolofmom

Book a breakthrough Call