Well, strap in, because this week the tech world decided to set itself on fire just for kicks. First up, Elon Musk’s much-hyped Tesla Diner in Los Angeles is already a culinary disaster, slashing its menu faster than you can say “over-promise and under-deliver.” Speaking of rolling garbage fires, the Cybertruck now apparently sounds like Fred Sanford’s junk pickup rattling down the street, a fitting soundtrack for the ongoing dumpster fire that was Project 2025. Remember how that was supposed to save trillions? Turns out it was just a festival of bullshit math that likely cost taxpayers a fortune. It seems the only thing being successfully launched is our collective patience into the sun.

The implosions continued with the launch of GPT-5, which effectively lobotomized its predecessor and sent thousands of users into mourning for their suddenly stupid digital "friends." It's a harsh lesson for anyone who thought building their business—or their entire social life—in someone else's backyard was a bright idea. While the normals are dealing with emotionally unavailable AI, the tech billionaires who broke the world are busy prepping for the collapse they engineered. Zuckerberg is building a $300 million apocalypse bunker in Hawaii, Sam Altman is stockpiling guns and gas masks, and Peter Thiel has his New Zealand hideout. It’s comforting to know the architects of our dystopian future have their escape hatches ready. Meanwhile, Meta was caught with internal documents greenlighting its AI chatbots to have "sensual conversations" with kids, proving once again that when it comes to tech ethics, the call is coming from inside a burning, abandoned house.

If you thought it couldn't get dumber, Musk and Altman got into a public slap-fight over who's more full of crap, with Musk's own AI, Grok, hilariously declaring its creator the loser. Google, admitting its search results are now a toxic sludge pile, has decided to just let users build their own news echo chambers. On a more nostalgic note, AOL Dial-Up is finally logging off for good, taking the screeching sound of our formative years with it. As we contemplate trading our devices for pitchforks, we're retreating to simpler times, like teaching our kids Solitaire with premium Star Wars playing cards (a concept apparently too advanced for Dave) or justifying dropping a cool grand on the new 9,000-piece Lego Death Star, which features a hot tub full of Stormtroopers in swim trunks. From a surprisingly decent Wicked movie adaptation to the sad, slow demise of Kodak, it's enough to make anyone want to become a Grumpy Old Gardener.

Sponsors:

Private Internet Access - Go to GOG.Show/vpn and sign up today. For a limited time only, you can get OUR favorite VPN for as little as $2.03 a month.

SetApp - With a single monthly subscription you get 240+ apps for your Mac. Go to SetApp and get started today!!!

1Password - Get a great deal on the only password manager recommended by Grumpy Old Geeks! gog.show/1password

DeleteMe - Head over to JoinDeleteMe.com/GOG and use the code "GOG" for 20% off.

Show notes at https://gog.show/709

FOLLOW UP

Musk's Tesla diner faces immediate setbacks with massive menu cuts, restricted hours, and tech issues

DOGE Has Wasted Billions While Saving Only a Fraction of What It Claims: Reports

IN THE NEWS

GPT-5 AMA with OpenAI’s Sam Altman and some of the GPT-5 team

The Real Reason You Haven’t Been Replaced by AI Yet

The World Will Enter a 15-Year AI Dystopia in 2027, Former Google Exec Says

Researchers Made a Social Media Platform Where Every User Was AI. The Bots Ended Up at War

Why Are Silicon Valley’s Utopians Prepping for Collapse?

Meta Caught Saying Its OK for Underage Children to Have "Romantic or Sensual" Conversations With AI

Sam Altman and Elon Musk Trade Barbs Over Who Is More Full of Shit

OpenAI and Sam Altman are reportedly creating a startup rival to Elon Musk's Neuralink

Perplexity offers more than twice its total valuation to buy Chrome from Google

Now That Google Is Trash, It Will Let You Pick Your Own News Sources

Tesla Robotaxi scores permit to run ride-hailing service in Texas

Diabetic Man With Gene-Edited Cells Produces His Own Insulin—No Transplant Drugs Required

Butter made from carbon tastes like the real thing, gets backing from Bill Gates

Terraform Labs founder Do Kwon pleads guilty to fraud over $40 billion crypto collapse

Goodbye to dial-up: AOL closes a chapter in web history

MEDIA CANDY

The Bad Guys 2

Strange New Worlds

Wicked

KPop Demon Hunters

The Pickup

Alien: Earth

The Institute

Watch Prime Video's official trailer for Upload's final season

Ashes & Diamonds - On a Rocka

Love & Rockets - Motorcycle

THE DARK SIDE WITH DAVE

Dave Bittner

The CyberWire

Hacking Humans

Caveat

Control Loop

Only Malware in the Building

theory11 Star Wars: Year of The Dark Side Playing Cards, Premium Playing Cards, Poker Size Standard Index

Derren Brown Playing Cards

Antigravity A1 - 360 Drone

Lego Death Star

Kodak Says It May Have to Close Up Shop

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.