If you thought the Song of Solomon was going to be a tough one for us to get through with our "Clean" tag intact, Theophiloi, brace yourselves for the Life of St. Martin. With a translation that almost has to be purposefully nasty, we're kicking off Advent with the 100% true and factual story of Martin of Tours, the saint who cured the sick, raised the dead, and ruined at least one funeral. Plus: the Devil! Like... a lot of the Devil!

Topics of Discussion: Things we will have done for Halloween, Benito's obituary for Chris, Sulpitius Severus and his enduring fan-fiction, the difference between soldiers and monks, a bishop whose name briefly turns this into an Abbot & Costello skit, the funniest line to ever appear in an actual hagiography, our obituary editorial cartoons, the invocation of Bofa, measuring demons in Marys Magadalene, the benevolent devotion of St. Martin.

Hymnal: "Martin" by Steve Keitt, "Welcome to the Jungle" by the Hungarian Coverist (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkHR1ZZ1bsYNkFBv1qkjQ1A)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/user/apocrypals

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Psalm 12:8.