The Thing About That: A Modern Woman's Guide to Getting Married

8. WEDDINGS - Hen dos

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"BRIDE-TO-BE!" sashes, willy straws and a healthy dose of friendship rivalry: it must be a hen do!

Today we break down hen dos, stag dos, bachelorette parties, bridal showers... whatever you wanna call them! From the sentimental (memory books) to the sordid (strippers) and everything in-between (the obligatory lasagne and garlic bread night), we ask all the important questions on Season 1, Episode 8 of The Thing About That. What actually is the purpose of a hen do? What's with the highly-sexed heteronormative traditions? Would you rather plan it yourself or have the whole thing a surprise? Lucy is angry, Hettie is cautious and Becca is still traumatised from one particular hen-do memory, which you simply HAVE to listen to. Whether you're a bride-to-be or a groom-to-be or a bridesmaid or a wedding guest, you'll relate. 

Take a listen and then drop us a review or give us a cheeky star-rating! Also be sure to subscribe to make sure you don't miss our final guest episodes, where we're talking to wedding planners and the husband elects: Ben, Jacob and Tris!


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Series 1, Episode 8 length: 36 mins 09 seconds


Virtual Hen-dos during lockdown (02:09)

  • Joint hens and stags (hag-dos.)
  • Why do we separate the genders?

    • The purpose of a bachelor or bachelorette party (05:22)

    • Helping all your friends to get to know each other before the wedding.
    • Gender-division: boy-time or girl-time.
    • Celebrating your "last night of freedom."
    • FOR the friends. They want to celebrate you getting married.

      • The pressures of a hen-do (11:08)

      • Friends feeling like they have to plan the most thoughtful, intimate gathering ever.

        • Gender balance (12:10)

        • Hen pressures VS stag pressures. Female VS male.
        • Women feeling more emotionally pressured to prove their love.
        • Men more chilled out, but as such, occasionally neglectful.

          • Other people's opinions (16:40)

          • Even in the bachelor and bachelorette party, everyone weighs in with their thoughts.
          • Becca describes the reaction to planning a joint hen/stag do.

            • A traditional hen-do (18:38)

            • Feminine energy differentiates it from other parties.

              • The uncontrollable expense and length of hens and stags (19:35)

              • How can we keep the price down?
              • How to control your anger!
              • The exhausting energy of being on form with people you don't know for a whole weekend.
              • Money means different things to different people.

                • The enemy is activities (22:00)

                • The average hen party in the UK costs £357.
                • How to plan a calmer event that still kicks ass.
                • Advice on being clear with your bridal party as to what you're expecting, whether big or small.

                  • The uncomfortably sexualised heteronormative style of hens and stags (29:32)

                  • Does anybody enjoy it when the stripper appears?
                  • Hilarious tales of uncomfortable hen do / bachelorette party moments.

                    • Link to the Alessia Armenise article referenced by Lucy: https://www.stylist.co.uk/long-reads/hen-do-dread-cost-friendship-weddings-bachelorette-parties/312662


                    Thank you for listening!

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