Ah...I wrestled with the Lord so much with this question.

I’m grateful the Lord didn’t let it all happen without warning me, I realized the way I found out was because it was just a natural consequence of his own actions and I also can now see how God was trying to tell me many times, but because I was being lied to, I didn’t believe myself anymore and began to ignore promptings.

The sad thing is you start to question all of your promptings and then it’s so much harder to know and recognize the voice of the Lord so you’ll need to work on ....forgiveness for yourself, because it takes work to regain your own trust back. I love what Maya Angelou said about this “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.” 

As I have taken time to connect with Christ, He has helped me regain that confidence and ability to follow His promptings with even with more conviction and courage than before