The Feedback Journey

 

Not being able to handle feedback and not knowing how to show up caused emotional blindness.

 

Why people run away from Feedback

 

Feedback does affect us neurobiologically—we are tossed into a toxic state of stress. The experience of getting feedback is not only unpleasant but physically debilitating.

 

People run away from giving and receiving feedback for fear of the unknown. We end up doing a lot of feedback aversion and not a lot of feedback conversion. We approach feedback with fear, hesitation and skepticism. But feedback is meant to help people. 

 

Think of feedback as something to grow from, not only as something to go through.

 

The 3M Method of Feedback: MINDSET

 

Feedback is a two-way dynamic, but if we get the giving of feedback right, we can do more service for the receiver.

 

Align these things to give feedback right:

 

1. Mindset - Come to terms with the fact that the past is unchangeable. Orient yourself towards a future that can evolve. The sooner you make the shift, the sooner you can be positioned for growth, not fear.

 

"FeedFORWARD" is strengths-based, future-focused feedback that doesn't dwell in the past— a place of possibility and potential. It is where human potential evolves.

The 3M Method of Feedback: MESSAGING

 

Stop serving a praise sandwich—a diminished message. It serves neither the giver nor the receiver. Praise, when rooted on effort and process, pays and is a powerful motivator. But the problem is when you sandwich it—you dilute the message. 

Praise sandwich dilutes trust and tarnish the relationship between the giver and receiver of feedback.

 

The Feedback WRAP

 

Feedback WRAP (What and where, Reason, Affect and Prompt) is a four-part plan for having more candid, caring and collaborative conversations confronting issues that matter when they matter most and it delivers the information in a just-in-time fashion to help people's determination to change.

 

1. What and Where: Give your feedback a zip code. Be really clear about the intention—let people know very clear what are you going to talk about.
2. Reason: Tell your reason to give people awareness and a sense of security or certainty.
3. Affect: Think about impact, not judgment, describe not prescribe. Focus not on what they did but on how others experienced it. Name it, not blame it.
4. Prompt: Shift from telling and selling to listening and learning.

 

Feedback becomes a partnership, a two-way dialogue. Always ask for permission to share a feedback, move it on a neutral ground.

 

The 3M Method of Feedback: MEASURE

 

Best way to create accountability is to create self-accountability. Help people take charge of their own path of progress. 

 

As the giver, encourage the receiver to look back at their goals and check back in to reassess. Feedback will happen more frequently and fluidly.

 

Being a mirror-holder for people receiving the feedback shifts the dynamics from "doing to the person" to "doing for the person."

Joe's Best Medicine: Partnership