Have you ever caught yourself saying in your mind “I am not good enough” or "I am just not _____ enough"? You can fill in the blank with any word. It doesn't really matter what you put in. The effect is the same. This type of thoughts come into mind more often than we care to admit. The problem is, this thought does not move us forward but only to let us stay stuck, play small or swallow the feeling of failure.

Recently I had a phone call with a friend who was feeling depleted. And as we dived into the conversation, I realized this: She has been taking on the role of a successful entrepreneur, super mum, amazing wife, loving daughter and an awesome friend. On top of all this, she also wants to find more time to exercise, do yoga, meditate, journal, look after her appearance, change wardrobe, declutter the house, tidy up her home office, etc. As you can imagine, the list goes on and on. Finally, we both started to laugh. She is not alone on this. I have a very similar "Wish-To-Do" list, and I am pretty sure many women out there feel the same.

We have been trying to do it all for so long. We have been constantly trying to improve our personal and professional life, plus looking after everyone in our family. No wonder we are exhausted.

When do we say enough is enough? 

Sometimes it is unconscious, other times we are consciously putting pressure on our shoulder to do it all, and do it perfectly.

Perfectionism and Burnout

No doubt, I am writing from the perspective of a woman. Since women now have more opportunities to have a career compare than say 100 years ago, we simply have added on the roles and responsibilities. Many women I know are working full time and it is not that we have shred much of the care and responsibilities as a wife or mother or carer. Yes, we may have more help in some ways, from childcare facilities to already prepared meals delivered to our homes. But the norm is we just do it and unless it is absolutely necessary or justified, we don't ask for help.

Women are conditioned and primed to want to be perfect in our modern society. This applies to our capabilities to serve and abilities to give, and also the way we look after ourselves. Just look around you, the advertising billboards, magazines, TV commercials and especially on social media. 

When you browse through Instagram for instance, you will notice women look beautifully put together, often they are smiling or standing at someplace incredible or celebrating something worth celebrating.  No one takes out their camera to take a photo of themselves when they are feeling down or looking awful. Perhaps only a very small percentage of comedians would do that to illustrate a point. We are surrounded by an artificial image of women out there at their best moments, and as a result, we are prompted to become the perfect mother, daughter, wife or friend.

Sometimes we get lost along the way. We feel inadequate, vulnerable or downright like a failure. Besides that, many of us don’t want to “border” others or make them worried, and so we don't even want to talk about those feelings or get in touch with what those feelings really represent.

So, we just keep marching on, improving and perfecting ourselves, until we hit a point of exhaustion or burnout.

Lately, I have been doing some research for my new book's title and cover designs. As I browsed on Amazon to look for books in my genre in personal transformation, motivation and women’s health. Something unexpected hit me. 

There are many self-help books out there for women on making great money,