Visionary's Pursuit

91. When Did You Stop Talking to Your Business Partner?

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Episode Summary

I built and ran my business on my own for ten years, and for most of that decade I really wanted a partner. Someone who would know the intricacies of the business, and care about the outcomes the way I did. About two years ago that finally changed, and the partnership Andrew and I created has given me almost everything I hoped it would. Unfortunately for most (and likely me too without this work), we're a rare exception. 

In this episode I get into why I believe the relationship between co-founders is one of the most underrated parts of business strategy. We cover why partnerships most often end poorly and how to mend a strained relationship. 

Key Takeaways

  • The relationship between founders is a core business variable. Wasserman's research found that roughly 65% of high-potential startups fail because of conflict between the people at the top, not the market or the money or operations.
  • We don't leave our humanity at home. Every meeting includes our insecurities and our need to feel respected, and pretending those needs aren't in the room is exactly what lets them run the show.
  • The quality of your relationship with another person is based on the thoughts you have about them. When you change the thoughts you practice about a partner, the relationship improves, and that's a separate thing from excusing behavior that crosses a line.
  • Karpman's Drama Triangle names the roles we slip into when things go sideways, the powerless victim, the blaming persecutor, and the rescuer who believes everything depends on him. All of them run on disempowerment, and leadership means catching yourself in one and stepping back to responsibility.
  • Relationships get stronger through repair. Avoiding hard conversations to keep the peace is what slowly hollows them out, because distance is what ends a partnership and small withheld frustrations are how the distance builds. A recurring conversation for the hard stuff keeps resentment from collecting.

    •  Resources Mentioned

    • The Founder's Dilemmas by Noam Wasserman (source of the 65% figure)
    • Stephen Karpman's Drama Triangle

      • Connect with Carolina

      • Book a consultation: carozuleta.com/consult
      • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/carolinazuletacoaching

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        Visionary's PursuitBy Carolina Zuleta