You’ve heard of Solomon, right, Theophiloi? The king so wise that he once threatened to cut a baby in half? Well, if you were looking for more examples of this famous wisdom, we have some bad news for you: it sure as heck ain’t in Bible. Instead, we get a lot about decorative gourds and a little about bathing in blood in One Kings as we kick off a new year on the show!

Topics of Discussion: A busy start to 2022 TYOOL, the Queen’s DBZ phase, a hot political take,  “The Big Game,” a really fun thing listeners do about Benito pronouncing Hebrew that is just so fun for us, a human slanket, a comic that really s*cks, Solomon’s extremely cool chair, Ahab (Earth-616).

Hymnal: “King of Kings” by Mötorhead, “Take A Chance on Me” by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church.