🎙️ New Episode: “Sober vs. Cali Sober”

A C*nt's guide to peace ep18 Louis Zeskin returns

I could try to explain the absolute disaster that was this flight - BOTH ways - but where do I even begin? Let’s just say I’ve enjoyed years of smooth, carefree travel… so apparently the universe decided I was long overdue for a train wreck in the sky. And oh, did it deliver.

POV:You’re abandoned as a newborn in Thailand - and your rescuers discover you have no legs.

Fast forward 30+ years… you’re a recording holding professional skater?

Meet Kanya Sesser - one of the most inspiring, magnetic people I’ve ever met. She radiates positivity; when she walks (or rather, rolls) into a room, everyone’s energy rises to meet hers.

In this episode, we covered it all. Honestly, I barely had to ask questions - this two-time Guinness World Record–holding athlete is an open book.

We talked about:

It was real, raw, funny, and just a vibe.

Picture this: you’re in your first year of sobriety, and you find out your father-the pilot you grew up both fearing and loving-took his own life by crashing his plane. Now imagine a childhood where food was withheld because he thought you were overweight, where you learned to sneak and hide just to eat. Imagine being disowned when you developed the very same addictions and disorders he struggled with himself. Layer that with the chaos of puberty, sexual abuse, and the everyday storms of being a teenager-and you’re only beginning to understand Vicky’s story. And yet, here she is. Incredibly funny. Incredibly talented. Strong. Humorous. A young woman who carries both her pain and her light in the same breath. I admire her more than I can even put into words. This isn’t even half of it-we already know there has to be a part two. But for now, this is Vicky. Brave beyond measure, finding her feet again in a new reality where the person she feared most, and also loved most, is gone and learning what life is without him

I had the absolute joy of sitting down with one of my favorite humans, the incomparable actor Max Martini!

 Sebastian Siegel is back on the pod! His first appearance stirred the pot, so of course, I had to invite him again. Yet again, we dive into the messy, magical art of finding your way back from self-abandonment . Sebastian unpacks his TED Talk “The Invisible Force Driving Our Lives & 5 Stages of Love” while I toss in questions inspired by my book A Cunt’s Guide to Peace. Buckle up-it’s equal parts wild, raw, and heart-opening.

 Listen in. Laugh. Cringe. Heal. Repeat.

What an episode!

You may know Tommy Vext as the powerhouse lead singer of Bad Wolves, the band that rose to global fame with their unforgettable cover of The Cranberries’ “Zombie.” Over the course of his career, he’s achieved Diamond, Gold, and Platinum status multiple times, and has also fronted bands including Divine Heresy, Snot, and Westfield Massacre.

I, however, first came across Tommy in a different light-through his moving cover of Lana Del Rey’s “Video Games,” a song I often painted to. It never crossed my mind that the person I frequently spotted at the gym was the very voice behind the soundtrack to my creative sessions. When I finally put two and two together, I reached out and invited him to join the podcast-especially after learning that he has been living in sobriety for over 16 years.

Tommy shares candidly about his journey: working as a sober coach, mentoring others, and even offering to connect me with sober friends in London when he heard I was traveling there. In our conversation, he opens up about his upbringing, the many challenges he’s faced in his career, and deeply personal experiences-from surviving a near-death moment and time spent in witness protection, to navigating the difficulties of being a “dry drunk” during the turbulent breakup with Bad Wolves.

This is an honest, gripping, and inspiring interview that offers a rare glimpse into the resilience and transformation behind the music.

Rashaad has always been something of an intriguing figure in my life. As he shares in our interview, I first noticed him years ago at the gym-back when I was still drinking heavily and carrying extra weight. We’d occasionally cross paths at Ralph’s too; his cart neatly stacked with nourishing food to fuel his training, mine filled with wine and whatever indulgence I craved to soothe the aftermath of a hangover.

For years, that was the extent of our acquaintance. Then came the heartbreaking loss of Doug Fruchey-an extraordinary presence at Gold’s Gym and a dear friend of Rashaad’s. At his memorial, our paths intertwined more deeply. In a way, the Gold’s Gym community bonded through that grief, a silent vow forming among us to look after one another with greater care.

During my “happy hour years,” I often found myself wondering how Rashaad could possibly maintain the discipline to rise before dawn and train daily. Some mornings, his Instagram stories were the only thing that pushed me out of bed and into the gym rather than surrendering to the inertia of self-pity.

I would arrive to find him already there, alongside Doug, Mike, and a handful of other OGs, and I felt painfully out of place-hungover, bloated, self-conscious. Yet there was an irresistible pull to keep showing up. Something told me that if I could push through the discomfort, perhaps I could inch closer to becoming someone stronger, healthier, better. Doug’s death shook me profoundly, reopening the wound of losing my own best friend in a similar way. It was a stark reminder: I had to change. With the help of the Gold’s Gym family, I did.

Friendships like these are woven throughout that gym-a quiet, daily exchange of encouragement, accountability, and loyalty. In our conversation, Rashaad and I talk about this community, how it has shaped our mental health, and how discipline and mindful living are often unfairly branded, while overindulgence is normalized. He also shares his own journey into bodybuilding, with all the challenges and triumphs along the way.

Rashaad is one of my “gym besties.” We hardly ever speak outside those walls, yet I know he’s invested in my growth just as I am in his. And on the days I falter, I know I could call him-and more likely than not, he’d make time to join me for a much-needed cheat meal.

I hope you enjoy an insight to a very important chapter of my recovery ,

golds gym and its extraordinary members 

The fascinating thing about having friends like Firefly is that they’re a bit like the sun. It rises and sets every single day, and because it’s always there, we forget the sheer magic of it.