A Community Thread

As former colleagues at Saving Grace and now both members of Allyship in Action, Erin Rook recommended LeeAnn to participate here. Before we started recording, I asked LeeAnn why she decided to accept the invitation and she said, “… because, as a woman of color, I wanted to provide a voice and a face that had not been represented much in this project yet and have the opportunity to connect other voices from marginalized communities to the project.” That’s a pretty good reason, if you ask me. This interview is full of LeeAnn's heart and thoughtfulness. It was a pleasure meeting her and I am happy to introduce you to her here. 

I met Ari through his wife, Lisa, at the end of the year show I had this past December. He and I only chatted for a moment, but Lisa mentioned she was going to refer Ari to the project then. I arrived at Ari's office on a very wintery Valentine’s Day and as we chatted we could see the snow falling outside - quite romantic, really. As is often the case, we talked for quite some time before turning on the recorder. I often wish I could share that part of the conversation, but doing so would inevitably change the course. Anyway, Ari and I covered many topics in the interview and you should get a good sense of how it went. Things get pretty real towards the end. Ari’s got a huge heart and a deep capacity for empathy. I enjoyed talking with him and getting to know him and I am so glad to introduce him to you here. 

I originally met Erika through Donna Burklo sometime last summer. With neither of us having a proclivity for nonsense, we dove straight into the all the big topics during our first conversation. Due to my tumultuous upbringing in extreme religiosity, I tend to not have lots of room for it in my life these days. I actually associate it with more potential for bad than good. So, going into our first meeting, I knew that Erika was a pastor, but I did my best to lay my judgments aside. The resulting conversation was one of my favorites since moving to Bend and by the end of it, I considered Erika a friend and an ally. 

We heard each other as we spoke our individual truths and respected each other through our differences while we discovering a path toward our common ground. We've met on a few occasions since then and I've felt an affinity for her each time. Because I thought sharing our story might be meaningful to others, I asked Erika to participate here. She accepted and, just as I hoped, she showed up in a real way for it. I'm delighted to share her interview with you here. Erika is a super smart and resilient woman with a huge capacity for empathy and compassion. And I'm proud to call her my friend. 

Ian Carrick referred Tiffani to participate here after having met her at an ecstatic dance event. I’ve yet to personally experience ecstatic dance in any kind of structured setting, but I can say I have had some really wonderful times while dancing and have come away from them with a feeling that could probably best be described as ecstatic. Tiffani is now the third participant of this project who has mentioned ecstatic dance with great praise, so I might just have to try it one of these days. Anyway, it was so wonderful to meet Tiffani. We had a very warm and sincere conversation and I am so happy to be able to share it with you here. She and her dog, Banjo, and cat , Wiggin, all made me feel very welcome in their home. I spotted Tiffani out and about in town a couple of weeks after our interview and walked up to her to say hello. It warms my heart to recognize a new friend after having newly met and I always wonder how many times we might have unknowingly crossed paths previously. 

Tim Hellman referred Marcus to this project. I had already spent some time with Marcus as he and Tim and I have been getting together to play some basketball. I met Tim through this process and I’m so grateful for our growing friendship. I’m also so grateful that he’s been willing to share his other friends with me as that camaraderie has contributed to this year’s positive start. It’s often the case that I don’t know much, if anything,  about these folks before I interview them, so the dynamic changes a little bit when I do know them. It’s really fun to sit down and formalize a conversation with an acquaintance or a friend. My experiences with Marcus so far all have shown me his kindness and encouragement and what I would consider a strong tendency toward positivity. I’m happy to have made a new friend in Marcus and I’m delighted to introduce him to you here. 

Mandy Butera referred me to Leslie and then I ended up meeting her soon after at an event that Mandy put on. I love to meet people for the first time when I show up for our interview, so we kept that initial encounter brief. A few days later, I met up with Leslie at her studio space and we dove into conversation like we were old friends. We must have recognized each other’s sincerity because our conversation carried an authentic and vulnerable tone. I easily could have chatted with her for the rest of the day. I’m happy to introduce you to Leslie here and I hope you have the great pleasure of meeting her in person. Until then, this will have to suffice. 

Jesse Locke recommended Paul to participate here. He accepted immediately and enthusiastically, which led to my really looking forward to connect with him. We laid some plans to meet up at his tasting room and then make a trip to the brewery together, but due to time constraints, we stayed at the tasting room. After a short detour to the neighboring coffee shop, where we ran into Brandon Harris, we sat down at the bar and talked shop about beer and life and all the things you will read or hear below. And as we chatted, Paul’s wife, Staci, worked away on the computer and Hans kept busy in the other room. The place was full of life - quiet and productive life. It was so great to chat in Paul’s work space while that work was going on. That authentic scene set the stage nicely for our authentic conversation. If you’ve not stopped by The Ale Apothecary, I highly recommend it! And be sure to seek Paul out. You won’t be disappointed.

Ian Trask recommended Russell to participate here. And due to his soon-coming trip to Mexico, we almost didn't meet up this morning, but we pushed through and I'm super glad for it. Russell's big dog, Bub, met me in front of his home and then Russell's wife, Brook, treated me to a hot cup of tea and made me feel at home. By the time Russell got home I was already comfortable on his couch. He sat down with me and we started chatting and after just a couple of minutes, his cat, Boo, made a home at my side and purred throughout the rest of our talk. 

This interview is quite different than the rest. Each interview has its nuances, of course, but this one has a heavy lean toward the philosophical and existential. I hope you’ll find some food for thought here.  I always find a little relief in the fact that no one of us really knows much of anything. We have our thoughts and feelings based on our own experiences and sometimes we refer to them as beliefs, but they are just that and not the same as fact. So, is there any room in your beliefs for new ideas? For broader understanding? For more compassion? For new perspectives? I hope so.

I met Richard as my friend and I were taking down the exhibit of this project at Crow's Feet Commons. He was sitting on one of the sofas and asked me if the work was mine. Then he proceeded to offer his thoughts on the material, going as far as to offer me one of the truest and kindest bits of praise I've ever received. He referred to my portraits as "confrontational". I encounter many people who have some aversion to that word and that practice. I am not one of those people. Don't get me wrong, I don't seek out trouble, but I rarely avoid dealing with the situation at hand - no matter how difficult. And I can understand what Richard meant. I am presenting these people to you in a very honest and straightforward way, allowing - or maybe gently forcing - you to take them in as they are. 

We spoke for several minutes and discussed photography and art. Richard showed me some of his own work on his website and we just kind of clicked right away like two matching puzzle pieces. He left an impression on me and the thought of inviting him to participate in this project excited me. So, I reached out via email the next day. He accepted immediately and we made an appointment to meet at his home the following week. 

Richard toured me through his home and made me a cup of coffee and we talked and talked and talked. About art and design and photography and what it all may or may not mean. By the time we wrapped things up, we had spent nearly four hours together. And I can honestly say that every minute of it was a delight. As you'll hear, Richard is articulate and kind, thoughtful, and wise. And he's funny. It was a pleasure to see him smile and laugh. And it was touching to see him shed tears. Due to a variety of circumstances, I don't have a patriarchal influence in my life, so talking with Richard gave me an idea of what it might be like to have a grandfather. 

After Cate Hollister and I reconnected at the end of the year exhibition I had, she put me in touch with Elaina. I can't say exactly what caused it, whether it was her forgetting about our first appointment or my forgetting my gear on the way to our rescheduled meeting or something else entirely, but I would use the word strained to describe our time together. It felt as though the point of what I am doing and why I was there with her was totally lost -you will likely hear it in the interview - and there was a confused and maybe even combative energy. 

I left this interview feeling deeply affected by that and full of so much doubt and trepidation for embarking on the third year of this endeavor. It happens like this so rarely in a face-to-face meeting. We all have the encounter in more anonymous ways with other people who don't come into our sphere with all the love and joy and encouragement that we want, right? Ordinarily though, when I meet someone face to face and look them in the eye and talk with them, I feel connected to them and part of something much bigger. I didn't feel that with Elaina and even as I type this now, more than a week later, I am still searching for why. And even though we don’t see the world through a similar set of eyes, I still think there is value in our conversation. And despite the fact that Elaina and I didn't become fast friends there is a lesson here, not just for her and for me individually, but for all of us.