After a year of not recording for a Dreamer’s Night Talks, I am back speaking into the mic without a script, just sharing some unedited thoughts with you. Today’s improvised chatter is about making art while overwhelmed by the news and the reality of what is happening in our world. I hope it speaks to you and I hope to share other moments and thoughts like these on a more regular basis, because I did miss you!

Tonight’s episode was born out of a text message my mother sent to our family what’s app group, reminding us of her wedding anniversary. My parents have been separated for 30 years, and they are divorced.

This episode is about love, about not having regrets, about hope… Happy anniversary to my divorced parents!

The song I mention is Zerdaliler by Ezginin günlügü.

You can also check the playlist I made on Spotify with all the songs I mention in the various episodes (which amounts to only two so far, but it will grow).

“I want to take agency over my own story”.

In this episode, I share some thoughts on escape vs confrontation and being the agent of my own narrative. I dive into how writing, art-making, creativity, expressing myself help me go through pain and transform it into something beautiful, and being free…

The post I mention can be found on my Instagram account (@cananmarasligil).

“Did I really need another notebook?” The answer to this question is always yes! So, today I bought a new notebook, and I wanted to talk about the importance of notebooks in my creative practice, and in my life. Everything I do starts with writing in a notebook, and writing in notebooks has been a daily practice for years. I hope you enjoy this episode and will be inspired to get a notebook and start pouring down thoughts, ideas, emotions and more on those welcoming pages…

PS: I have recorded this episode with all my windows open, so the nocturnal background noise is there, but tonight, it is part of the story.

Can a simple phone call become poetry? Well, tonight’s stream of consciousness has started because of that phone call, and it sure feels poetic to me. I am again taking you into my nocturnal mind, always unedited and raw… I am inviting you to reflect with me on topics such as the importance of culture and literature to build better societies, and I share my fascination with tonight’s full moon… particularly beautiful, and very poetic.
Enjoy!

In this eleventh of my nocturnal stream of consciousness, I touch on the topic of self-love. What does it mean to love ourselves? How come some of us can do it and others don’t? It all comes back to our childhood and experiences. But there are many other layers. I try to find ways to share love, and tell the people I love, that they deserve to be loved. I also touch on the importance of solidarity and be there for each other, to grow together. I dream of building a society where love is at the centre.

As I mention in this episode, if you wish to get in touch with me, let’s connect on social media: Twitter @ayserin, Instagram @cananmarasligil.

And this is the link to my Instagram post (instagram.com/cananmarasligil) with the poem I am reading at the start of the episode.

In this tenth episode of my nocturnal stream of consciousness, I talk about migraines.

My most recent migraine attack lasted two days. I open with a poem by Emily Dickinson which serves as an epigraph to Siri Hustvedt’s book The Shaking Woman or A History of My Nerves, in which she writes about her migraines. I also quote Hustvedt, and further discuss the paradox of surrendering to migraines, yet remaining “creative” during an attack. I mention my Instagram account @cananmarasligil and the hashtag I use to capture those migraine moments: #lovestorywithamigraine.

Tonight I dive into my creative process. As I am sitting in the middle of my living room, surrounded by all my art supplies: paper, paints, ink, books… I start by telling you about my "flowers of the revolution" which were seeds distributed at weekly protests in the former mining area in Northern France, and I brought back to my home in Amsterdam where they bloom today! Seeds are ideas, and they need time to grow. Flowers, ideas… process and taking the time…
What brings it all together for me these days, is my new passion for doing image transfers, which I also tell you about.

The book I mention is by artist Courtney Cerruti: Playing with Image Transfers (Quarry Books, 2013)

and this is Courtney's online class on Creative Bug: https://www.creativebug.com/classseries/single/image-transfers?

I got caught in the rain cycling home following a beautiful storytelling event… I share the warm feeling of experiencing culture collectively after months of lockdown. I hope you enjoy these few minutes of stream of consciousness… this time I am accompanied by the sound of rain.

In this seventh episode of my nocturnal thoughts, I read a poem by Egon Schiele, and take both our birthdays (of Schiele and mine) as a starting point to talk about friendship, freedom, and the generosity to love and be loved.