What Movie Should We Do Next?

We put The Mummy Returns back on the stand for its anniversary and judge it by what’s on the screen today, not what we remember loving as kids. We land on a 2.5 out of 5 and end up arguing that nostalgia is real, but it can’t patch a messy sequel.
• our three-part rating method and what we’re smoking and drinking
• why the first Mummy feels tighter and warmer
• acting vs dialogue and why chemistry can’t save everything
• cinematography and blocking when CGI takes over
• the Scorpion King sequence and why it looks unrendered
• score repetition and losing the musical punch
• plot complaints like retcons flashbacks and chosen-one destiny
• rewatchability as comfort viewing even when it’s bad
• our rewrite ideas and the movie we’d rather see

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