In this episode, I speak with Vanessa May, a London-based writer, holistic grief coach, and certified grief educator.

As a bereaved mother and widow, Vanessa has endured more loss than most could imagine in one lifetime, yet she’s transformed her pain into purpose.

After losing her son Harry, her husband Anthony, and her father in quick succession, Vanessa dedicated her life to helping others navigate the landscape of grief.

Known for her raw honesty, compassion, and wisdom, Vanessa embodies the 'wounded healer', reminding us that grief isn’t something to get over, it’s something we learn to live alongside.

This episode dives deep into the spiritual beliefs that continue to support her, including soul contracts and signs from the other side.

Books:

Finding Meaning by David Kessler

Journey of Souls by Michael Newton

It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine

Groups:

The Compassionate Friends: https://www.tcf.org.uk/professional/

Therapy:

Havening: https://www.havening.org/

EMDR Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing

Breath Work

Yoga for grief

Connect with Vanessa:

Author website: https://www.vanessamay.co.uk/

Holistic Grief Coaching: https://wellbeingandnutrition.co.uk/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/may.wellbeing.griefsupport/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/holisticgriefsupport

When Grief Takes Everything: A Survival Guide To Devastating Loss:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1068196106/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.FTjfx4BGEGh5OtMwWsPp3QyzSIQ13pdbJDMjYetAwlXGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.oR8DgquK--qkSNuoU9m646vmb259bZaIqyEVSJyWt8c&qid=1760187628&sr=1-1

Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates

If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.

You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of A Gift For Grief, I'm diving into a question many people who are grieving may think about: "How do I know if what I’m feeling is grief, or if it’s depression?"

Both can feel heavy, isolating, and overwhelming - but they’re not the same thing.

I'll talk through some of the ways grief shows up differently from depression, where they sometimes overlap, and why it matters to understand the distinction.

This isn’t about putting labels on your pain, it’s about giving yourself language, compassion, and clarity. My hope is that by the end, you’ll feel less alone in whatever you’re experiencing, and more supported in finding the help you need.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your grief is “normal,” or worried it might be something more, this episode offers gentle guidance and reassurance.

In this episode, I’ll talk about:

•What makes grief unique.

•What sets depression apart.

•The places where they overlap.

•And most importantly, how to recognize when it might be time to reach out for extra support.

Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates

https://silenceofsuicidesos.org.uk/contact-us/

https://www.samaritans.org/

https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-support/

If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.

You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After early retirement and the heartbreaking loss of both her parents, Sue Williams turned to creativity and spirituality as a way to heal. 

What started as journaling soon transformed into poetry, eventually leading to her award-winning book, I Am Unique. Since then, Sue has gone on to create oracle cards, publish anthologies amplifying women’s voices, and inspire countless others to embrace creativity as a tool for self-discovery, healing, and transformation, especially in midlife and beyond.

Sue’s story is a moving reminder that even in the depths of loss, courage and creativity can help us reconnect with ourselves and what we’re here to share with the world.

Recommended reading:

The Artists Way by Julia Cameron

Sue Williams books:

Believe You Can Succeed

Believe You Can Face Your Fears and Confidently Claim a Life You Love

Believe You Can Live a Life You Love at 50+

Golden Threads Women's Shared Wisdom from the Tapestry of Life 

I Am Unique

Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates

If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.

You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this powerful and deeply important episode, we open up a conversation that many still find difficult to have about suicide, and bereavement by suicide.

I’m joined by representatives from the incredible charity SOS Silence of Suicide, whose mission is to challenge stigma, encourage open dialogue, and ensure that no one feels they have to suffer in silence.

Their message is simple yet profound: Stop the Silence, Start the Conversation.

Together, we explore:

The importance of speaking openly about mental health and suicidal thoughts

How silence can be more dangerous than the struggle itself

Support for those bereaved by suicide

How SOS is working to create safe, non-judgmental spaces for anyone in crisis

The transformative power of compassion, listening, and shared humanity

We all open up about our own personal experiences and this episode may be sensitive for some listeners, so please take care while listening.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please know that support is available — you are not alone.

Learn more about SOS Silence of Suicide:

Website: silenceofsuicidesos.org.uk

Facebook: SOS Silence of Suicide  

Instagram: @sossilenceofsuicide

Twitter: @SOS_Initiatives 

If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.

You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of A Gift For Grief, Narinder Moore reflects on the very different ways grief has touched her life.

Her Father was bedridden for five years and died in 2008. Narinder explained how she experienced a mixture of sadness and relief - comforted by knowing he was no longer suffering.

Years later, her grief took on a new shape. The sudden loss of her eldest brother Gurjit in 2021, followed by the death of her younger brother Jagdip in 2023.

This brought pain of a different kind - sharper, more unexpected, and deeply disorienting.

Narinder opens up about how the Sikh community stepped forward during these times of loss and she shares the important role of Sikh customs and traditions in mourning.

Members of the Sikh community came together to surround her family with prayer and support.

Those who were able to read from the scriptures brought the sacred words into the house, filling the home with comfort and reverence. The presence of the scriptures offered both spiritual strength and a reminder that she was not alone in her grief.

This heartfelt conversation explores how grief is never the same twice, and how faith, culture, and community can both comfort and challenge us in times of loss.

Connect with Narinder through her Facebook group or Facebook page, both called - The Live Well Learning Hub. 

Narinder's book 'Reflections' A Guided Journal: is available from Amazon.

Recommended reading:

Anita Moorjani Dying to Be Me

Bill Kirkpatrick: Going Forth

The Miracle Morning: Hal Elrod

A Gift For Grief: Louise Bates

Donna Ashworth: Growing Brave

Connect With Your Host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates

If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.

You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of A Gift For Grief, I talk about the words we use around loss.

So often, people mean well but don’t know what to say - and sometimes the phrases we’ve all heard, like “they’re in a better place” or “everything happens for a reason”, can sting more than they soothe.

I share some reflections on the language of grief: what feels supportive, what can feel blunt, and how even simple, honest words can make a big difference.

I also explore how grief can shift the way we speak and listen to each other.

If you’ve ever struggled to find the right thing to say - or wished someone had said something different, this conversation is for you.

Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates

If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.

You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this gentle and heartfelt solo episode, I reflect on the first year of grief and the many emotional “firsts” that come with loss: The first birthday, Christmas, holiday, anniversary, and even the first unexpected moment of laughter.

I share personal stories, including how my husband Bill and I honour our son Matthew’s birthday, and why we’ve chosen sunshine over tradition when it comes to Christmas.

I also explore the emotional weight of anticipation, the quiet moments that catch us off guard, and the small, meaningful rituals that help keep love present in our everyday lives.

This episode is for anyone navigating the painful first year, or supporting someone through theirs, or simply trying to understand the complex, unpredictable journey of grief.

You’ll be gently reminded that:

• There’s no right way to grieve—only your way
• It’s okay to feel joy, guilt, longing, and laughter all at once
• Even in grief, there are glimmers of love and connection

If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.

You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grief and loss are experiences we never ask for but they shape us in profound ways.

In this deeply personal episode, I open up about my own journey through grief: the loss that shattered me, the heartbreak I never expected, and the surprising gifts that emerged from the pain, such as clarity, resilience, compassion, and a deeper connection to life and much more.

This conversation is an honest invitation to see grief as more than something to “get through.” Instead, what if we approached it as a sacred journey, a path that, while brutally painful, can transform us in ways nothing else can?

Whether you’re grieving a loved one, navigating a major life change, or supporting someone through loss, this episode will help you:

• Understand the hidden lessons and gifts in grief
• Find meaning and hope during painful seasons
• Embrace healing while honoring your loss

Grief can break us but it can also open us.

If you’ve ever wondered how to keep going when life falls apart, or how to show up for someone who’s hurting, this episode is for you.

Connect With Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates

If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.

You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I dive deep into the classic concept of the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

But are these stages really universal? And do they truly reflect your unique grief journey?

Join me as I explore:

• The origins of the five stages and why they’ve become so popular.
• Common misconceptions and myths around grief stages.
• How grief is a deeply personal experience that doesn’t always follow a set path.
• Ways to recognise and honour your own unique process of healing.
• Tips for supporting yourself and others through grief, beyond the stages.

Whether you’re grieving a loss or supporting someone who is, this episode will help you find freedom from expectations and embrace your own authentic grief.

Tune in and discover why your grief story deserves to be honoured on its own terms.

Recommended reading: On Death & Dying by Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Connect with Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates

If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it.

You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“How many children do you have?”

It’s a question that comes up easily in conversation, often asked with good intentions and without much thought.

But for those of us who have experienced the loss of a child, it can bring a wave of emotion.

It touches a tender part of us, stirring grief, love, and the quiet reality of what could have been.

In this episode, I explore the emotional weight this question can carry. I speak honestly about the pause that comes before answering, and the personal journey of navigating between truth and emotional safety.

I share my own experience with this question, and offer reflections on how we can hold space, for ourselves and for others when loss is part of the story.

This episode is for anyone who carries grief quietly, who continues to love a child no longer here, and who wishes their experience could be acknowledged without needing to explain.

In this episode, I reflect on:

The emotional impact behind a seemingly simple question

What it’s like to parent a child who is no longer living

Why grief often lives in the things left unsaid

How to honour our children while protecting our own emotional boundaries

The unique challenges of invisible motherhood or fatherhood

Connect with Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.