If you are overweight, like 39% of the world’s population, you might be asking yourself, “what causes weight gain?” You may be here because you’re trying to lose weight. More than half of Americans are currently attempting to lose weight on any given day of the year. (1) Ask most doctors what causes weight gain...

If you are medically overweight, like 39% of the world’s population, you might be asking yourself, “what causes weight gain?”

You may be here because you’re trying to lose weight. More than half of Americans are currently attempting to lose weight on any given day of the year. (1)

Ask most doctors what causes weight gain or the inability to lose weight and you’ll likely hear that the number of calories you consume exceeds the number you burn. Not as commonly, you may hear about other possible causes such as too much of the stress hormone cortisol.

Though conventional medical advice often associates weight gain with overeating, lack of physical activity, too much snacking, and other “mistakes” on your part. You may even experience bias from your physician. (Do a search for “are doctors biased against overweight and obese patients” to see for yourself.)

One of the primary reasons for weight gain is diet culture.

"You Must Be Doing Something Wrong"

Recently, I went to an orthopedic doctor because I’d been having some pain in my left foot. We met for the first time after an x-ray. She made her diagnosis within the first 3-5 minutes of being in the room. The conclusion was that I had a simple case of nerve entrapment.

The doctor wanted to give me a steroid shot, but I declined and explained that I just wanted to know what was causing the pain. With this information, I could start working on whatever was going on.

In addition, expressed concern that my gradual weight gain since my early forties might be a contributing factor to my foot pain.

This brings me to the topic of this post.

At the end of a visit that lasted all of 7 minutes tops most of which we spent talking about my foot, she had sized me up.

The tall, thin, elderly female doctor explained that my weight gain wasn’t normal. She further elaborated that there had to be something I was “doing wrong” if I’d been steadily gaining weight. Either I was eating too much, not the right thing, or more than the energy I was using up.

Is it really that simple? No.

Overweight and obesity are complex issues and are rarely as simple and straightforward as this particular doctor suggests. Just because you're overweight doesn't mean you're doing something wrong.

What causes weight gain?

Some studies indicate that overweight and obesity may have plenty to do with our genetics. Gene variants studied show women with certain alleles have more fat mass and a lowered ability to burn it off.

Genetics and Body Weight

Conflicting studies from around the world make it hard to say for sure if there is a correlation between single nucleotide polymorphisms (SNPs) and obesity. Your body may do better on certain types of diets due to your genes. You can find out using SelfDecode.

Though we do know that hormones play a major role in weight issues. Leptin and Ghrelin are worth studying if you struggle to lose weight. Read “it’s not your fault you are overweight.”

You may notice you gain weight like your parents or grandparents, as I do.

My maternal grandmother, who I have no doubt had undiagnosed blood sugar issues, gained weight in her arms and around the middle. (She didn’t like to go to the doctor, but had all the symptoms of blood sugar imbalances.)

Like my grandma, the weight I gain tends to accumulate in my arms as well. Unlike my grandmother, I have enviable A1C results. (A1C is a simple blood test that measures your average blood sugar levels over the past 3 months. It is a more accurate measurement of true blood sugar levels than daily glucose testing, which I also do 2-3 times per month.)

Another reason for frustration with the orthopedic doctor’s suggestion; she doesn’t know anything else about my health. Her assessment was based on my foot x-ray and my appearance. I’m overweight.

Does Metabolism Slow As We Age?

A new study implies previously accepted theory on weight gain with age may be incorrect.

The study proposes metabolism does not slow down as we age; at least not until we’re over 60.

It’s a bit hard for me to believe the old theory that metabolism slows and weight gain as we age is inevitable is outdated and wrong.

When I was a teenager through my twenties and even into my thirties, I was in the “healthy” weight range according to my BMI. During my teens and twenties, in the ’80s and ‘90s, I ate a Standard American Diet. What I mean by that is that I ate an occasional fast food meal or soda, added sugar to my coffee, and kept processed foods in my pantry. I ate ice cream when I wanted to and cake too. Yet I stayed in the “healthy” range.

During my late 30s and throughout my 40s my diet changed for the better as I studied dietitian courses. Now, at 50, I eat predominantly whole foods, rarely ever eat out, and never at fast-food restaurants.

I gave up soda in 2003 at the age of 32. Around that time I quit sugar, white flour, and fast food.

My diet improved. Yet, after a decade of eating healthily, the extra pounds came on each year. I’d mentioned my weight to the orthopedic doctor only to find out if it could be related to the nerve entrapment. Yet her response was to tell me that I was doing something wrong and that my weight gain is the result.

It was disheartening, yet deep down I believed her.

Most of us tend to believe our weight gain is all our fault, even if we are doing the best we can. I sat there blaming myself, all while knowing my primary doctor who I’ve seen for over 10 years says most people tend to gain weight as they age and it’s hard to lose and keep it off. Especially during menopause.

Overweight and Obesity are Getting Worse, Not Better

In 2022, more people have excess weight than ever before. The number of people who are considered obese has tripled since 1975. (2) The U.S. adult obesity rate stands at 42.4 percent, the first time the national rate has passed the 40 percent mark, and further evidence of the country’s obesity crisis. (3)

According to a Gallup poll, nearly half of America’s overweight people don’t realize they’re overweight.

In broaching a discussion of excess body fat and its associated health complications practitioners are encouraged to avoid using undesirable terms -- such as “obesity” or “fatness.” Use of such terms may offend or distress some patients and prevent them from continuing to discuss their weight. We encourage health care providers to use patient-friendly terms, such as “weight,” “weight problem,” or “BMI,” when broaching the topic of weight with their obese patients. (4)

Epidemiologists conclude most of us will gain 1 to 2 pounds a year from early adulthood through middle age. Although newer studies suggest that metabolism doesn’t slow as we age as previously believed.'

Energy Intake vs. Energy Expenditure

New information is challenging what has been believed about calories in vs. calories out. Some scientists now believe that overeating isn't the primary cause of obesity. If you're a person who "eats right and exercises" and still doesn't lose weight, you might find this information valuable. (If this is you, listen to the podcast at the top of this post, or watch the video linked at the bottom.)

Adoption of the carbohydrate-insulin model over the energy-balance model has radical implications for weight management and obesity treatment. Rather than urge people to eat less, a strategy which usually doesn't work in the long run, the carbohydrate-insulin model suggests another path that focuses more on what we eat. 

Your Basal Metabolic Rate can change and does depend on a variety of factors. So while calories in vs. calories out is a factor, there are variables. These include gender, genes, medications, fat tissue, lean tissue, body size, illness, and more.

BMI really shouldn’t be considered the gold standard for measuring a healthy weight. Body Mass Index doesn’t take into account a person’s body fat versus muscle (lean tissue) content. Although the NIH and CDC still promote BMI as a fairly reliable indicator of healthy weight, overweight, and obesity.

The Waist to height ratio is a better predictor of heart disease and diabetes risk than BMI, according to new research presented at a scientific meeting recently.

For example, if you are 65” tall your waist circumference should be below 32.5” measuring mid-way between the lower rib and the iliac crest. WHtR (waist to height ratio) is better at predicting risks of cardiovascular disease and diabetes, and of overall mortality according to the World Health Organization.

Surprising causes of weight gain

Yes, it is true that a sedentary lifestyle and too much food can cause weight gain. But what if you’re eating a healthy diet, staying active, and still gaining weight?

Surprisingly, eating too little can slow down your metabolism and trick your body into thinking it’s in starvation mode. Food quality and quantity both matter. Also, eating too fast and not chewing thoroughly can also be contributing factors.

It’s worth exploring with lab work. Your doctor can order tests to check for endocrine disorders. Excess cortisol, thyroid disorder, or other hormone imbalances should be ruled out before you blame yourself.

Mineral imbalances can cause water retention which may make you look and feel puffy. Too much salt, not enough magnesium, or dehydration may be the culprits.

In addition may gain weight due to other health conditions such as PCOS, congestive heart failure, or type 2 diabetes.

Lack of sleep not only impacts your well-being but can also lead to extra pounds. Insufficient sleep can cause you to turn to junk food when you’re overly tired and moody.

In addition to flat out missing sleep, using devices with blue light before bedtime can mess with your circadian rhythm and lead to poor sleep which contributes to weight gain.

Practicing good sleep hygiene contributes to a healthy metabolism.

...

The podcast episode above is about how to have an online (or in-person) cookbook club. The article below will explain why cooking as a hobby will contribute to better health. At least it has for my family and I believe it will for you, too. The transcripts for the podcast episode are also at the bottom of this post. Just wanted to point out that it is different content that goes together, so explore both.

In addition, I hope you'll join and cook along with us in A Tasty Bite - my small online group, but even if you don't, I still hope you consider cooking as a hobby.

Leaving Home without Cooking Skills

At age nineteen, when I rented my very first place and became responsible for preparing my own meals, I soon realized my cooking skills were lacking. At that time if you wanted to learn to do something you either found someone who knew, went to school, or consulted a book. I did all three!

Learning from Friends and Family

If you have friends or family who are skilled at cooking, ask them to let you be their sous chef. At the very least, offer to do their dishes and they'll likely let you hang around and learn.

Lucky for me, I was living in Germany at the time I needed to gain cooking skills. I was surrounded by a diverse group of people. Some were my colleagues in the Air Force who were from all over the US and had wide a variety of tastes and therefore, cooking methods. 

Others were my German and French friends. We rented our house from a middle-aged couple who lived in the upper portion of a huge house on a cherry farm. The entire downstairs belonged to us. The German husband made his own homemade schnapps which he encouraged us to watch and taste. While the wife turned out huge spreads of food including my favorite, Apfelkuchen. His two daughters showed me around the countryside, into France, and from them, I learned the food etiquette of Germans.

From another coworker, a person of color, I learned which types of cheese will melt and which ones won't and the fact that Velveeta was not really cheese at all. She taught me how to put together simple recipes that her mom taught her and her siblings when she was a kid like a barbecue sauce that was not from a bottle.

During the time I was stationed in Germany, many Germans and French civilians worked for the US Government. One of my coworkers was an older French woman from whom I learned you do not have to be a professional chef to attempt fancy French Cuisine. Another coworker's wife was Mexican American and she introduced me to spices and flavors I'd never tasted before. A Cuban boyfriend introduced me to guacamole and many other tasty foods.

Learning from My First Cookbook

Being on my own so far from my loved ones, I wasn't able to ask for help in the process of cooking foods I was familiar with such as biscuits and gravy. Phone calls were expensive. 

Shopping at the Base Exchange, I picked up my very first cookbook. Of course, it was a simple Betty Crocker, red cover cookbook, but I learned how to cook the basics. Pot pie, meatloaf, and muffins were among those first recipes. Nothing fancy, just what I'd consider regular food. I still remember making my very first quiche. That cookbook got me hooked on cooking my own food.

Still, this was before the age of tv shows about cooking were as popular as they are now. 

When I returned to the states I had access to more people and new recipes from friends and family. I asked my grandma lots of questions because I considered her a great cook who always had good food on the table. My aunts and of course, my mom, were also a source of learning new skills.

Then I subscribed to Taste of Home magazine and began experimenting with new foods. These meals I shared with my huge church family, since being a military town, we all needed one another and grew close over good food and fellowship. Those were the casserole days. Followed by the grilling days of long Savannah, Georgia summers.

Turning Towards Healthier Cookbooks

Later, I discovered the cooking section in Barnes and Noble, and well, the rest is history. That's when I started to learn the health benefits of certain foods and began to gear my cooking more towards the fruit and veg department. I transitioned through every stage of diet from raw vegan to keto. 

My love of cooking and sharing a good meal has only grown stronger since then. I don't exclude food groups anymore but I do make it a goal to use whole ingredients.

Why Cooking as a Hobby is the Best Hobby!

My family members enjoy the fruits of my cooking hobby on a daily basis. In addition, all of my six children knew the basic cooking techniques to prepare pretty much anything by the time they were teenagers. I'd even say that all of them are good cooks. 

Even my oldest son taught his best friend's mom how to shop for healthier foods and prepare meals at home instead of eating out all the time. He didn't even ask me one question, just made a list and showed her how to plan and prepare some basic meals. She and he

The Culinary Arts Can Open the Door to Countries and Cultures

Another thing I love about exploring the culinary arts is that eventually, you're going to start learning about other countries and what flavors are prevalent there. That leads to learning more about cultural norms in different countries. For example, if you explore Asian cuisines, you'll likely learn to use chopsticks. Most Asian cookbooks written in English have introductions and other explanatory paragraphs. 

In these, you'll learn things like don't stick your chopsticks in rice, or leave them crossed on your bowl or the table. How about this one, did you know in China it's considered bad luck to flip a fish? In Germany, sodas are served without ice. You might learn these things while traveling, but you will also stumble across this information in cookbooks.

Here are some other reasons cooking is the best hobby

Cooking can be relaxing! Just go with the flow and don't get too fussy about techniques.

You'll save money cooking your own food because eating out is almost always more expensive, meal for meal. Eating at home is healthier than eating out at restaurants.

It's easier to control ingredients, so if you're on a low-carb, gluten-free, or sugar-free diet, you won't have to worry.

You can have a fancy bottle of olive oil on your kitchen counter. Most restaurants don't use quality oils in cooking, instead they use industrial oils (not healthy!)

Collecting kitchen gadgets is fun! Check out my favorites at the bottom of this post.

You'll always have friends, they'll want to eat with you on a regular basis!

If you have kids, they won't be too picky about foods because they'll have been expose to a wide variety of tastes, textures, and techniques.

Tips and Notes for Starting

Part of why I created an online cookbook club was to get people interested in preparing their own meals because that is healthier than eating out at restaurants. Another reason is that it is easier to maintain a healthy weight when you prepare your own food at home. Many of my friends tell me they don't enjoy cooking. When I hear this I wonder if they just have yet to have a good experience with cooking. We're all different, but we all need to eat, so I feel that even if you don't pick up cooking as a hobby, you will want to have at least a few simple cookbooks that you can use to prepare some healthy meals at home. 

Explore my cookbook review section to see if something sparks your interest. Find the latest cookbook club selection here.

If you want your cooking hobby to lead to health, focus on whole food cookbooks and avoid the ones that call for lots of "cream of mushroom soup" mixed with mayonnaise and sour cream, etc. Not knocking those foods, but they're not as healthy as spring vegetable soup made from greens from the local farmer's market!

Get familiar with the grocery store and don't be in too much of a rush when you're shopping. Read the labels. Get to know the produce section.

Don't be afraid to try new recipes.

Learn to use a meat thermometer.

When using a recipe, always read it from start to finish before you begin.

Grilling takes practice, even though it looks easy!

Want to take your Hobby Culinary Skills Pro?

Find your culinary voice at The Institute of Culinary Education.

The Institute of Culinary Education’s Plant-Based Culinary Arts career-training program (formerly Health-Supportive Culinary Arts) provides foundational, professional training in the techniques and art of cooking with a focus on plant-based cooking, whole foods and sustainability.

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Cook With Me Video Playlist

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjvlC9hrVqF0xgCYqGkiL3JTWy8NZxApQ

A few of my favorite kitchen gadgets

These tools are ones that you don't have to have for basic cooking but they make exploring cookbooks more fun. You likely won't find these in the kitchen of someone who rarely cooks, but if you spot them in someone's kitchen, chances are they spend a good deal of time in there. Amazon Kitchen Storefront.

cookbooks

[00:00:00] Welcome to a healthy bite. You're one nibble closer to a more satisfying way of life. A healthier you and bite size bits of healthy motivation. Now let's dig in on the dish with Rebecca Huff. 

[00:00:16] Hey there I am so glad that you have joined me for today. Episode of a healthy bite. I am talking about something today that I am very passionate about and anyone who really knows me knows that I am an avid cookbook collector.

[00:00:33] I confess I can't pass a beautiful cookbook without flipping through the pages. And usually I end up taking it home with me. The first section I had to, when I go to a bookstore is almost always the cookbook section. I just love collecting cookbooks well one of the things that makes exploring cookbooks a little more affordable is the fact that where I l

Cubii Jr 1 Review: an elliptical that fits under your desk to help you exercise while you are on the computer!

Are you looking for an exercise you can do while sitting? That's exactly what I was doing 8 months ago!

Maybe you have a job or hobby that has you at a desk for hours on end. You might even worry about your physical wellness being impacted by how much time you spend sitting. 

I know I do! 

You probably already know that sitting too much isn't good for you. While I was working full-time, sitting at a desk all day, the inactivity concerned me. Even now, working for myself, I'm often at my computer writing, paying bills, scheduling appointments, etc. 

In addition, my favorite hobby is knitting which I do while sitting, although I try to limit that to less than an hour per day.

This had me brainstorming how to exercise while I sit. I looked at various methods of exercise you can do while sitting. Because I want to be free to use my hands it would have to be a lower body workout, so no arm circles, or lifting dumbbells while sitting.

We all want to stay healthy

My mom watches television while riding a stationary bike. You know that is a great way to keep from being a couch potato! Especially if you love to binge-watch drama series.

Although my mom was on to something, a big stationary bike wasn't an option for me. Mainly because I didn't want a huge piece of exercise equipment in my living room. Plus, I needed to be able to use it at my desk as well as in the living room where I knit each night.

Building on her idea, I started searching for a pedaling machine that would fit under my desk or in front of a chair. I got some mixed feedback when I asked around. Still, I decided to try the Cubii Jr 1. because I was determined to increase my heart rate while I knit or work on my computer.

Standing to work at my computer might be better than sitting, but it isn't cardio!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wtqw4C87Skg&t=23s

Standing Desk vs. Exercise While Sitting

Both my husband and I believe in and each of us has stand-up desks. My husband started using a stand-up desk back in 2016. Some of his coworkers even joined him. 

However, standing in one spot for long periods of time has drawbacks.

Using a stand-up desk for hours every day may lead to swollen ankles or even varicose veins. Standing at a desk can also lead to back pain unless you maintain good posture. Many people hunch their upper back at a stand-up desk because they're trying to type or aren't close enough to the computer monitor. 

So if you use a stand-up desk, make sure to keep your back straight and practice good posture to prevent pain.

Still, standing is not exercising. 

When I stand at my desk I'd try to do calf raises but not many because moving up and down while looking at a computer monitor wasn't ideal.

Exercise you can do while sitting at a computer

Using the pedal exerciser, I am working on several muscle groups including my glutes, calves, hamstrings, quadriceps, and even my hip flexors. Not bad for such a small workout machine.

Cycling, while I'm working on my computer, allows my upper body to remain stable while my lower body pedals away! Surprisingly, I'm even coordinated enough to pedal while knitting. 

On a side note, when trying to find ideas for exercising while knitting I discovered that many people walk and knit at the same time! Crazy, right? I haven't tried that one yet.

Because the Cubii Jr 1 is portable, with a compact design, and has a built-in handle, I'm able to easily move it from my workspace to my living room. This functionality allows me to work out wherever I happen to be sitting. I store it under my desk when I'm not using the machine.

The Solution: Exercise You Can Do While Sitting

Cubii Jr. 1 exercise machine allows you to practice healthy habits while you sit. I was curious if the Cubii would get my heart rate during a knitting workout. 

It's practically noiseless, so if you're on a Zoom call or just trying to enjoy the peace and quiet, you won't be disturbed. The elliptical has an LCD monitor that shows your progress so you can track your calories, or distance, in Cronometer or MyFitnessPal or whatever you use.

The machine came with 2 wheel stoppers that can be inserted under your desk chair wheels so your chair doesn't slide back while you're pedaling. I didn't need to use those, however, because my chair was pretty stable without them.

My 45-60 Minute Workout using Cubii

When I first started using my Cubii Jr 1, our Corgi was very curious! She barked at the pedals and knocked over my water bottle to get at the machine. Eventually, she lost interest and now I'm able to workout without her interference. You can see her hanging around my Cubii in this video.

Levels of Resistance

The cubii jr 1 has eight levels of resistance.

When I am at my desk, I'll set a time for 20 minutes and start pedaling my Cubii Jr 1 on level two. After the first timer goes off, I dial it up to level four for another 10 minutes, then up to level five for another 15 minutes. At that point, I stand up and take a break from my desk by getting out of my office chair to do about 20 reps of modified jumping jacks on my rebounder. Sometimes instead of the rebounder, I'll do twelve curtsey lunges on each side. 

I only do one workout like this during my workday. For example, I'll complete the above-described low-impact workout when I first start my workday. Then I might take my dog for a walk, have a cup of tea, or whatever. When I return to my desk, I might still pedal while I work, but I don't see the timers. 

Simple exercises like this don't take the place of a full-body workout like the ones I do with kettlebells or a class at my gym, like Bodypump, but it does help me get in a bit more movement while I'm sitting down anyways. Exercises you can do while sitting are a good way to stay active and fit.

For weight loss, a combination of cardio and weight bearing exercises will be the most effective.

So how do you find the balance between sitting and standing?

As I mentioned before, I do have a stand-up desk, but I don't just stand up all day working at my computer. That starts to wear on my body. I end up shifting weight from my right leg to my left leg and back again, just because it's hard to stand in one frame for so long.

So I take little breaks throughout the workday, walk around, get a drink of water, etc. Sit for a while, stand for a while, pedal a bit, take a break, and a short walk. That sort of thing. It's also good for your eyes to take a break from the computer screen from time to time.

Even if you have a stand-up desk, you probably wouldn't want to just stand all day. Your knees, ankles, hips, and back may start to feel stiff. It's nice to have the Cubii elliptical under the desk for the times you choose to sit down.

Review of the Cubii Jr1 Under Desk Elliptical Machine

My husband opened the box and put my Cubii Jr1 together in about 5 minutes! I didn't even know it had arrived and he already had it open and put together, so sorry you didn't get to see that in my video. 

However, I can tell you that using the Cubii Jr1 is pretty simple and straightforward:

Set the elliptical trainer wherever you want to workoutTurn the dial to select your resistance level (visible on the LCD screen as well as how many times you've pedaled in real time)Start pedaling.

The Cubii Jr1 has an ergonomic design that is easy to lift and move around and comes in black with aqua blue accents. The LCD display is easy to read and reset. Although, since it is dark under my desk I have to use the flashlight on my phone to read the display monitor. Not a complaint, it just isn't lit up.

A whisper-quiet workout that will not interrupt your workday or anything else you're doing. Adjustable resistance goes from levels 1-8 so you can find the home workout that's right for you. 

The compact elliptical takes up much less space than a stationary exercise bike and comes with a workout mat that keeps the machine from slipping around the floor. All you'll need to put it together is a screwdriver and you're ready to burn calories while you sit! 

Adding a mini elliptical to your home gym will help you get fit and stay healthy. 

Wellness Platform & Community

If you were so inclined, you could also use Cubii's Studio Plus to have access to live classes with personal trainers. I didn't use Studio Plus because I wanted to pedal while I'm working. However, I did browse through the variety of classes available.

Join the Cubii Communitii™ to share your progress and motivate fellow striders to reach their health and wellness goals. Try Cubii Studio+, our new wellness platform that includes live and on-demand exercise classes. All workouts are taught by expert trainers who teach various class types. With classes that range from five to 30 minutes long, find the perfect workout to fit seamlessly into your schedule. Save when you purchase an annual subscription and meet the new you who loves to get fit while you sit™!Cubii

Cubii products have a one-year warranty and free returns (make sure to checkout the return policy and use their form for requesting a shipping label). You can find Cubii products online or at stores near you.

I give the Cubii Jr1 a 5-star rating. Can you think of another exercise you can do while sitting? I'd love to hear about your ideas.

So you've been short-changed in the sleep department due to sharing your bed? Can't remember the last time you got a good night's rest? I feel your pain! If your spouse, kids, or fur-babies are keeping you up at night, and you're wondering if it's healthy to sleep in separate beds, keep reading!

A while back, I shared a podcast and post about Living Apart Together while married. That must have struck a nerve for many since I've had so many questions in my inbox! Indeed, the idea of separate beds is trending. My husband and I lived in separate apartments for almost two years. Now we are back in the same house, but we get healthy sleep, each in our own room. Our relationship is healthier now, too.

Plus, I've been writing about a variety of sleep problems, the solution to poor sleep, and getting better sleep for years. One question people want to know is about sleeping in separate beds. Is it healthy? Does sleeping in separate beds help or hurt your relationship? I'll answer all your burning questions.

Reasons couples may want to have Separate Bedrooms

There are plenty of reasons why a married couple may choose to sleep in separate beds or even separate rooms. Here are a few I've heard of from readers...

One person snores, has Sleep Apnea, or uses a CPAP machine, etc.Temperature preferences differ (room and body temps)Different sleep schedules (one is an early bird, one is a night owl)Opposite work shifts Insomniac (one partner has insomnia and therefore keeps the other awake)One partner is a light sleeperKids want to sleep with momRestless leg syndrome Different mattress preference (soft vs. firm)Using a device (TV, Smartphone, Kindle) disturbs sleep

One of you may be a night owl, the other an early bird...

The topic has been even more pressing for some couples during the pandemic since people are spending more time at home due to covid. When you work, eat, and sleep together day after day for a year, you really start to test the strength of a relationship. If you are feeling resentful because your significant other is the cause of your sleep deprivation you may start dreaming of your own bed!

According to a recent survey, over a third of married couples say they'd rather get a good night's sleep than to continue sleeping with their partner. Does that resonate with you? Perhaps that's because sleep deprivation leads to other problems.

Negative Impact of Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation is associated with early aging. Weight gain, lower endurance levels, and fatigue are also a result of being chronically sleep-deprived. The demand for drugs to promote sleep is ever-increasing. In the US alone more than 55 million prescriptions were written in 2014. With these prescriptions come a dreadful collection of side effects. Anxiety, stress, and depression are often present in those who experience chronic insomnia. These conditions have a significant impact on circadian rhythms which negatively affect both sleep quality and duration. ~ Getting the Restorative Sleep You Need

Sleep experts suggest that a lack of sleep can lead to poor mental and physical health. So why wouldn't you want to do everything you can to eliminate sleep issues? Improve sleep quality by sleeping alone if that's what it takes. A sleep divorce could actually be good for your marriage.

Is it normal for married couples to sleep in separate beds?

What's normal? Nothing but a setting on your washing machine! Instead of being concerned with what is common for other people, consider what is beneficial for you. If you're worried about what other people may think, consider the fact that there are millions of other people like you, missing out on sleep because of what someone may think of them.

But, if what other people do is important to you; know that it is reported that Donald Trump and his wife sleep in separate bedrooms. They aren't alone! John F. Kennedy and his wife slept in separate rooms.

By the 1920s, twin beds were seen as a fashionable, modern choice. “Separate beds for every sleeper are as necessary as are separate dishes for every eater,” wrote Dr Edwin Bowers in his 1919 volume, Sleeping for Health. “They promote comfort, cleanliness, and the natural delicacy that exists among human beings.Why Did Married Couples Stop Sleeping in Twin Beds

A whopping 59% of couples who started sleeping separately say they have improved sleep quality. The survey also showed that for those who had trouble sleeping together about half of the respondents reported less sex and more fighting.  

More and more people are choosing to get quality sleep over sharing a bed when they are experiencing sleep disturbances.

One common sleep disturbance that is on the rise, is the devices. The blue light from a smartphone can disturb your partner's sleep.

What percent of married couples sleep in separate beds?

According to a recent study, 75% of Americans report sleep disturbances caused by their partner. Not all of them go so far as to start sleeping separately.

Only about 10 percent of married couples sleep in separate bedrooms. Around 25 percent of American couples sleep in separate beds according to a recent National Sleep Foundation. Although, my belief is that many more do but aren't willing to admit it due to the stigma of "sleeping separately" being equated with a troubled marriage.

That's simply not true. People who get better sleep have a better outlook on everything, feel better, and because of that are more apt to have a better relationship. Whereas people who don't get enough sleep due to a partner keeping them awake may be irritable and after time, they may even start to feel resentment. Better to sleep separately than to have all those negative emotions, right?

Updated 2022 to Add: More Couples Sleep Separately After Covid 19

Two years after the pandemic, more people report sleeping separately. Whether that is due to stress or in an attempt to mitigate viral exposure is yet unknown.

Do royal couples sleep in separate beds?

Have you been watching The Crown? If so, perhaps you've noticed that the Queen has a separate bedroom. When Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and her husband visited, they were given two rooms and thought it quite odd! While the story is said to have taken many creative liberties, the idea that Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip sleep in separate bedrooms appears to be true. This is apparently a custom among the English upper-class. That makes sense considering a second master bedroom would be a luxury.

Is sleeping in separate beds is bad?

This might sound blunt, but wouldn't it be better to get a sleep divorce than to resent the person you sleep with for keeping you up all night? Just because you sleep in separate beds doesn't mean you can't have a fantastic relationship! On the contrary, sleeping in separate beds could be healing for your marriage. If you sleep better you'll feel better because you'll be well-rested. 

A well-rested, happy person is much more likely to want to spend time together not sleeping than a grumpy person who only got three hours of sleep last night because someone kept them awake the rest of the night!

If one of you wants to sleep separately, it is important to talk about why and how you could go about doing so without harming the relationship. Set up a routine that includes other enjoyable time together. 

For example, my husband and I have coffee together every morning, then breakfast. On his days off, we watch some TV together and he will hang out in my room until I am ready to go to sleep. He then returns to his apartment and locks my door on his way out. He may spend several more hours doing things he wants to do before he goes to bed in his apartment.

If your spouse is a night owl and you're an early bird, you may relate to our situation. Couples who have space could experiment with sleeping separately to see if it helps improve sleep and your relationship. As long as you both communicate your needs and wants to one another, it doesn't have to be a bad thing.

When one person is opposed to sleeping in separate beds, it might be time to seek help from a professional. A marriage counselor who is well-versed in emotionally focused therapy can do wonders in a situation like this. The key is to proactively spend time together at other times if you want to sleep in separate beds.

Some people assume that there must be something wrong with a relationship if they discover that partners are sleeping separately. But why? OK, human beings have sex and procreate, but whoever said they had to spend the whole night together in the same bed?”― Caroline Carr, Menopause: The Guide for Real Women

Can Separate Bedrooms save a marriage?

Speaking from my own personal experience I can enthusiastically say that having our own bedrooms has improved our marriage. I'm not the only one who enjoys separate beds. 

I definitely benefit from it the most. My husband is able to fall back asleep within minutes if he is awakened at night. On the other hand, if something wakes me up, I'll be awake for a while. I have no problem falling asleep initially, but I tend to be a light sleeper and I wake up very early... like 430. I'm currently writing this article in the early morning hours, my most creative time of the day.

He gets home from work late at night and even the sound of him showering in the master bedroom would wake me up. I hate to admit it, but if someone wakes me up a few hours into my sleep, I can be a real bitch. My husband is happy to avoid that! Not to mention, the resentment that builds up when someone causes you to lose precious sleep...well that's not good for a marriage. 

My husband cares more for my well-being than anything else and it pains him to know that he may have kept me from getting a good night's sleep. I find that very endearing about him and it makes me want to show him my love even more, (not less....

So you want to know how to stop drinking energy drinks, and you've probably tried giving them up before without success? You are already aware of how hard it is to quit. I see and hear of young adults, and even teenagers who are consuming these beverages on a daily basis, and quite frankly, it worries me.

Adolescents are reportedly the fastest-growing population of caffeine users in America. Research indicates 83 percent of teens drink caffeinated beverages regularly, and nearly 96 percent consume them occasionally. Caffeine isn’t the only substance in energy drinks that give consumers a jolt.USNews

Experience Quitting Energy Drinks

My husband will freely admits he had an energy drink addiction. That was before he went cold turkey on and quit energy drinks for the last time. (He discusses this in the podcast episode at the top of this post.)

In this episode we are having a casual conversation about the health issues it was causing for him, how he felt, and the strategy he used to get through the caffeine withdrawal symptoms.

Something we didn't talk about in the podcast episode that I will mention is that he quit drinking soda twenty years ago. I introduced him to coffee when we met and he still drinks it, but not all day for energy. He drinks a cup in the morning and a few cups during the day. 

Coffee did not replace his consumption of energy drinks. In fact, he says he drinks less coffee now than when he was on energy drinks.

As my husband said when I asked him, a cup of coffee does not give you the same energy levels that the stimulants in energy drinks do. 

That is because energy drinks contain more than caffeine. In addition, people tend to chug energy drinks, whereas they'll sip coffee. So the caffeine delivered from a cup of coffee is incremental rather than a blast.

Addictive Ingredients in Energy Drinks

Anyone who has tried to stop drinking energy drinks knows they contain addictive ingredients. Although most labels will boast "green tea," "ginseng" or "B12" to give you an energy boost. That is not natural or healthy and it is akin to greenwashing on a health care level.

Some may contain guarana, caffeine, creatine, ginseng, taurine, and a variety of vitamins, protein, carbohydrates, amino acids, and minerals. B vitamins are known as energy supplements and many energy drinks contain B12 and others in excessive amounts.

When you overdose on most B vitamins the excess is excreted in the urine, however, it is important to note that B12 is a fat-soluble vitamin that is stored in the liver.

B12 is stored in substantial amounts, mainly in the liver, until it is needed by the body. If a person stops consuming the vitamin, the body's stores of this vitamin usually take about 3 to 5 years to exhaust. Merck

Some energy drink companies are quick to point out that the caffeine content in energy drinks is less than that in coffee. In most cases, that is true.

 As I mentioned, energy drinks contain other harmful ingredients such as synthetic Taurine. In its natural form, Taurine is an amino acid produced by your body. It helps to regulate energy levels, your nervous system, heart beat and more. Added to energy drinks is another way to greenwash consumers.

For my husband, I suggested, he'd be better off to take the amino acid L-Theanine with a cup of his coffee to improve brain fog and increase focus than to drink an energy drink. Scientific studies show this simple amino acid amplifies the benefits of coffee while reducing jitters and other side effects.

Both my husband and my sons agree that L-Theanine capsules are far more beneficial than an energy drink. (They were doctor recommended to me over a decade ago.) We get ours in bulk through the link above. Read more about how L-Theanine can help with anxiety and even help you focus in school here.

Health Issues from 10 Years of Energy Drinks

My husband experienced weight gain, particularly belly fat, which is an indication of blood sugar imbalance. 

weight gaingrowing waistlineunstable blood sugar levels (pre-diabetes or metabolic syndrome)heart palpitations, increased heart ratehigh blood pressureincreased anxiety

Benefits from Giving Up Energy Drinks

These benefits are from having given up energy drinks for three months, however, the weight loss came pretty quickly, within the first month of quitting.

weight loss (15 pounds)stable blood sugar levels

In addition, there were other odd benefits he experienced after he stopped drinking energy drinks. For one, his spice tolerance got better. When he was on energy drinks, eating a habanero pepper, or anything hotter, would give him hiccups. 

Since giving up energy drinks he can eat spicy foods without a problem.

Tips to Stop Drinking Energy Drinks

My husband followed the strategies outlined in 14 Ways We Avoid Metabolic Syndrome which included stabilizing his blood sugar levels. 

When it comes to trying to wean yourself off of energy drinks, my husband says it doesn't work. Actually, he said, "get a straw, and suck it up." He recommends going cold turkey. 

However, my advice is to focus on wellness instead. If you are also drinking soft drinks and sports drinks, you may be more successful if you give up all three. You can give up soft drinks using my "Quit Soda" Guide (it is free.)

Eat protein when you feel like reaching for an energy drinkSleep when you can, you probably need to catch up.Try adding in exercise. I know it sounds crazy but moderate exercise gives you energy.Replace the energy drinks with healthy alternatives such as water, unsweetened tea, kombucha, and yes, even coffee (We drink Purity Coffee - you can save 10% with coupon code TOM10 on any roast!)Try Wellness Shots instead, made with real food, they actually contribute to better health.

More on Coffee

Health experts everywhere are confirming the health benefits of a moderate number of cups of coffee per day. As of 2016, the USDA Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee states that 3–5 cups of coffee were “tied to health benefits, including a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes.” Recently, a major study published in the British Medical Journal that reviewed results from over 200 meta-studies on coffee and health demonstrated the same thing.

But there is also evidence that even more coffee can increase health benefits even further. For example, while 3–4 cups per day were linked to a 25% drop in diabetes risk, but every additional cup up to 8 cups lowered that risk 5–10% more. Drinking 4–5 cups of coffee decreased stroke risk by 12%, but drinking more than 6 cups almost doubles that number to a 23% lowered risk.Purity Coffee

College Students and Energy Drink Addiction

When we've talked about energy drinks with young adults and teens, one of the common comments we hear is that energy drinks are FDA approved. Yes, that is true, the FDA has approved the ingredients in the beverages. The problem is that FDA approval does not equate to safety.

Young College students reportedly consume energy drinks for a variety of reasons:

difficulty concentrating insufficient sleeplack of energypaired with alcohol while partying

Multiple health concerns are associated with drinking energy drinks combined with alcohol. Because you're reading this article, I am guessing you care about your health enough to avoid or at least regret combining the two. For more information ask your healthcare provider or read the CDC warnings about the danger of mixing these two substances.

Final Notes + Quitting Caffeine

The bottom line is, if you want to break a caffeine addiction, you'll need to give up coffee as well. Make note that coffee often contains several more milligrams of caffeine than do energy drinks, but caffeine isn't the main concern for most people searching how to quit energy drinks.

In my husband's case, he wanted to give up energy drinks because of the "paragraph of ingredients" and what it was doing to his health. The caffeine consumption wasn't the issue as much as the artificial sweeteners and other ingredients.

If you are like him and aren't as concerned about the amount of caffeine in a few cups of coffee, but you'd like to give up the red bull, then consider focusing on stabilizing your blood sugar levels. 

You can improve your mental health and eliminate the unwanted side effects that come with overconsumption of energy drinks by focusing on eating more healthily, exercising, and making sleep a priority. 

Eventually, the fatigue and brain fog will clean and you'll beat your addiction.

You can watch this episode here:

https://youtu.be/9HITY7i5_WI

Quit Energy Drinks

[00:00:00] Rebecca: I thought it would be fun for you to be a guest on my podcast today because so many people are, I hate to say it, but addicted to energy drinks. 

[00:00:11] Shawne: That addiction's a good word for it. It is an addiction. 

[00:00:14] Rebecca: It is. Okay. I'm gonna bring you a cup of coffee.

[00:00:25] Okay now, are you ready for this?

[00:00:30] Shawne: I'm ready. 

[00:00:30] Rebecca: Cool. This is going to be fun. 

[00:00:34] Shawne: Looks like it! 

[00:00:35] Rebecca: It's fun for you. Cause you got to watch me run up and down the stairs. So I I'll just ask you, if you don't mind to tell us a like a little bit about how you got started drinking energy drinks, why you started and you know, what it felt like and all of that kind of stuff. Because when we first met you didn't drink energy drinks.

[00:00:58] Right. 

[00:00:59] Shawne: I didn't even drink coffee. 

[00:01:00] Rebecca: Didn't even drink coffee. I got you on coffee. Sorry about that. 

[00:01:05] Coffee has a lot of health benefits. So if you drink it in moderation, I think so. I mean, I guess you can get really sticky on which things are healthy and which things are not healthy to use for energy....

Deborah DiMare is back this week on A Healthy Bite to give us more useful tips on how to create an ethical & toxin-free bedroom for healthy sleep. Putting together a bedroom that looks picture-worthy is what most designers would make their top priority; and while Deborah is talented at doing that, her top priority is choosing ethical, non-toxic pieces. But don't worry, you can have both a beautiful, toxin-free and ethical bedroom space.

If you've never thought about what goes into the rug, sheets, bedding, and decor in your bedroom, you're not alone. Over the past few weeks, this topic has been rolling through my mind after discussing it on the podcast. There are several areas I'll be tackling to improve my own bedroom soon.

What could be more important than having a toxin-free space where you sleep? After all, you likely spend at least a third of your life in your bedroom. So what are the possible toxins that can be found in many bedrooms? Phthalates, PFAs, PBTE Flame Retardants, and more.

Azo dyes are banned in Europe. So if you buy a printed fabric, for example, or printed set of sheets, and it does not say that there’s azo dyes in it, you can assume there are. So don’t buy them.9 Toxic Chemicals to Avoid in Furniture

Buckwheat Pillow review by Deborah DiMare9 Chemicals to Avoid in FurnitureSee Deborah's Home in this Virtual Tour on Open HausECOS Paints - Eco Friendly Paints: Lullaby Paints are EN-71 certified for use on children's toys, which could be placed in a child's mouth. So, Lullaby products are suitable for a crib or other nursery furniture.

Resources

In the podcast, I asked Deborah about a solution for anyone who may not be quite ready to replace their current mattress with a new GOTS-certified one. In this case, the recommended solution would be to cover your mattress with a GOTS-certified organic mattress cover or GOTS-certified organic mattress topper.

You can find Deborah's nursery course here and use coupon code THATORGANICMOM25 to get 25% off. Deborah's team is going to give away a virtual room make-over. They do online consultations, and they're really amazing. You get a layout and a zoom call with her team. It's really great; valued at $580!

Meet Deborah DiMare

Deborah DiMare is a renowned interior design consultant, author, educator, and pioneer of the ethical/wellness design movement. She has been executing beautiful, sensory, living environments that contribute to the health and well-being of people, animals, and the planet for nearly 20 years. Her design company, DiMare Design, is the only 100% cruelty-free interior design consulting firm specializing in the creation of organic, optimal spaces, and sourcing vegan textiles and sustainable furniture that bear zero-to-low toxins.

How to Create a Toxin-Free Bedroom for Healthy Sleep

[00:00:00] Rebecca: I'm back today with Deborah DiMare and we are talking about one of my favorite subjects: sleep. I absolutely love to talk to people about sleep. It's one of my favorite things to do and believe it or not, it's one of the healthiest things you can do for your body. So today, I'm going to chat with Deborah and she's going to share her expertise with us about creating an environment in your bedroom that helps you get better sleep so that you can be a healthier person.

[00:00:25] Welcome to a healthy bite Deborah. 

[00:00:29] Deborah: Thank you so much, Rebecca. Thank you. 

[00:00:32] Rebecca: I'm excited to get into this subject. Now. I know personally that there are some things I need to change in my bedroom. So why don't you just maybe start out with telling us some of the top things, maybe some mistakes that people make when they're setting up a bedroom.

[00:00:52] Deborah: People make a lot of mistakes when they're setting up their bedroom. We'll start off with that. I think so many people are, so which I understand are hooked on just the aesthetics of a space that it looks great. And they don't think about the health and the design of the space for mental and physical health. And it's very, very important because our bedrooms are really a sacred space. It's where our body repairs itself. I mean, the average person spends about 30% of their life in their bedroom. Right. That's a long time. So your bedroom is really one of the most, or if not the most important space in your entire home, and you need to treat it gingerly and carefully and with a lot of love, because there is a direct correlation between your health and your sleeping environment.

[00:01:45] When we sleep our body repairs itself, we're breathing slowly. Our body's in a relaxed mode. Our blood is cleaning, we're getting all the toxins out of our body. Our body is a machine it's cleansing itself during the night. So if you are surrounding yourself with things that contain lots of chemicals and toxins, your body's absorbing that through your breath through your mouth through your skin; our skin is porous, just like a sponge.

[00:02:16] So it's not only, what's in direct contact with our skin, the sheets, the pillows, the blanket, but also what's in the air and what's called off gassing where gases are released into the air. And they really don't go away like paints and dyes and all these toxins they're in furniture and decor. So most people think about just the aesthetics and that's dangerous, it's dangerous for you. It's dangerous for your children. It's dangerous. If you have babies, it's dangerous. If you have parents living at home for the elderly, there's just nothing good about it. Right? And that's like the first place to start to understand that it's not just about the aesthetics.

[00:03:00] You can always make a room pretty, always, always. 

[00:03:04] Right. Well, I know last week we talked a little bit about paint. You know, we were talking about nurseries and making a healthy sleep environment for our children. And you, we had talked a little bit about paint and you did find out something about the paint on the walls, because we know that paint off gases, like you just said, the VOCs and I had asked you last week about, you know, what, if someone has a room that's already painted, you know, with potentially some toxic paint. 

[00:03:35] Right. It was, it's a good question. I didn't know the answer. So we looked into it and I think I sent you an answer that we found from actually Thomas Gardner, is his name.

[00:03:43] He's a building biologist. He's in our nursery course. And he's like any question you have on chemicals and, and structures. I mean, he's just, he's an encyclopedia. So what's interesting most paint contains VOC, which stands for volatile organic compounds.

[00:04:00] And it's a blend of chemicals and toxins that when they're painted on the wall, as it's drying the gases come out and that's called offgassing. You hear that term a lot now, off gassing, and it permeates,, these gases permeated throughout the rooms and the spaces where they've been painted. And people think that once the fumes go away, the gases are gone.

[00:04:24] That's not true. They basically never go away. So they're always in the air and we're breathing those in. So there are certain paints, types of pains. First of all, that have very, very few chemicals and that's, those are like lying paints in play paints. Lime paints are used in Europe. They're still used in Europe.

[00:04:44] And they are very beautiful. They have that translucent look, it's not as simple as just painting on a wall. As you know, you're getting the painter for a couple of hundred bucks to paint the room. It's a process, but it's a very clean non-toxic way of painting a space. And I think it's actually very beautiful, but it's more labor-intensive.

[00:05:02] So what you want to do is buy a paint that has low VOC, and if you're in an existing space, like a rental or a home that you just purchased, And there's paint on the wall and you don't know if it's safe or not. And you're like, you know what? I think I want to remove this paint. There's a couple of things that you can do.

[00:05:19] One is, you can first scrub the walls. And you can scrub it with just a cleaner, because there's lots of dust and toxins already stuck to the wall. So I love, I sound like an infomercial, but I love Dr. Bronner's soap and I use them in my own home because they're completely completely non-toxic, they're clean.

[00:05:39] They work amazing. I mean, I, I just really, I should be a spokesperson production for Dr. Bronner, so it's actually. There is great. Right. They're amazing. And they're also such a kind company, you know, they do so much for the environment for workers. They're terrific. Lisa Bronner is actually in our course. She's amazing.

[00:06:00] Talk about a wealth of information. Yeah. Talk about a wealth of information regarding cleaning products. It's, it's incredible. What you've learned from her about how to clean furniture, how to clean it. But anyway, you take something like a Dr. Bronner. That's what I would use or something that's completely non-toxic and good.

[00:06:17] And you scrub the walls with it. Good. Old fashioned elbow grease. So that's one thing you can do to start. And if you can't repaint the walls, you should do that. And then you can use a sealer. There's a special primer that I forgot the name of it, but I'll send it to you. I'll send you the link to it. You can get on Amazon and that's a really good primer to put over the walls.

[00:06:42] It's a latex primer, I believe, now the thing with latex. Latex is okay, but it's a plastic. So when you put latex on a wall, it's, it's going to in whatever moisture and humidity is already there. So that's the negative, but unless you're going to completely scrub those walls down and scrape them down, that's probably your best bet.

[00:07:06] Scrub them, use a certain kind of primer. I'll send you the name of it....

As parents, you'll face countless important decisions over your child's lifetime. One of the most important is the living space in which your child will grow and sleep.

One of the most exciting things parents-to-be do while they are waiting for the arrival of their bundle of joy is designing the baby's nursery. Browsing Pinterest for inspiration may turn up plenty of results for every theme imaginable! However, first, take a moment before clicking on those magazine-ready shots to think about the health and safety necessary for such an important space.

Sensory Design Expert

Deborah DiMare is is a sensory and health-driven design expert. As the leading ethical design expert, she has created courses to help parents create a space that will contribute to the well-being of their children. Deborah is a leading authority in designing environments that promote optimal mental and physical health for the special needs population including Autism, ADHD, sensory difficulties (SPD), and all related differences.

Fabrics, lighting and furniture all contribute to a client’s physical & emotional well-being. There are over 80,000 dangerous chemicals and poisons that are legal to use in fabrics. We believe that is unethical, unnecessary and dangerous. Our focus is creating environments to keep you and your loved ones happy, healthy and strong.DiMare Design

You can find Deborah's nursery course here use coupon code THATORGANICMOM25 to get 25% off. Make sure to subscribe, so you'll be notified when the next episode of A Healthy Bite is published. Deborah will be back to talk about setting up a healthy, non-toxic space for sleep.

Resources

The existing paint issue I asked Deborah about is answered in this article. ECOS Paints - Lullaby Paints are EN-71 certified for use on children's toys, which could be placed in a child's mouth. So, Lullaby products are suitable for a crib or other nursery furniture.Mattress that Deborah recommends is Naturepedic.Read Deborah's articles about safe nurseries here.DiMareDesign.comVeganDesign.org

Meet Deborah DiMare:

Deborah is a renowned interior design consultant, author, educator, and pioneer of the ethical/wellness design movement. She has been executing beautiful living and sensory environments that contribute to the mental and physical health and well-being of people and the protection of animals and the planet for nearly 20 years. Her company, DiMare Design, is the only 100% cruelty-free design consulting firm specializing in the creation of organic, optimal spaces, and sourcing vegan textiles and sustainable furniture that bear zero-to-low toxins.

Deborah also heads VeganDesign org, where she educates consumers and designers about humane & healthy design through virtual courses, a blog, and a full online shop of cruelty-free, vegan and low toxin furniture, décor & curated spaces.

How Parents Can Design a Nontoxic Nursery with Debra Dimare

[00:00:00] Rebecca: Hello everyone. And welcome back to another episode of a healthy bite. I'm excited to bring you today's guest Deborah DiMare. interior design consultant, author, educator, and pioneer of the ethical wellness design movement. She has been executing, beautiful sensory living environments that contribute to the health and wellbeing of people.

[00:00:23] And the planet for nearly 20 years today, we will be discussing how to surround our children from the moment they enter this world with the most non-toxic, positive environment, crucial to their physical and mental development. And that is why Deborah is here to share and give us guidance and teach us a little bit more about how to design a nursery with non-toxic furniture and cribs and other decors that will not harm or affect the mental and physical development of our newborn babies and children. Make sure to stick around to the end of this episode, Deborah will be sharing a special discount. That's only for listeners of this podcast for her special online baby and kids room design course.

[00:01:13] So make sure to check the show notes for that and stick around. Let's get into today's episode. 

[00:01:19] Announcer: Welcome to a healthy bite. You're one nibble closer to a more satisfying way of life, a healthier you and bite-size bits of healthy motivation. Now let's dig in on the dish with Rebecca Huff.

[00:01:35] Rebecca: So before we really get into the topic, I always like to ask my guests,  tell me a little bit about yourself and how you got into what you do. 

[00:01:46] Deborah: So I've been decorating now for probably nearly 20 years or so. And I was the typical decorator, you know, just designing everything with, fur, and wool and silk and feathers and all those animal-based products and my family and I are really involved with animal rights. We love animals. They're a very, very integral part of our life. I came out here because in my office my partner has his dog here every day. 

[00:02:12] I just love animals and I'm on the board of farm sanctuary. I'm involved with PETA, the animal rights organization. And so I always say you have to be ready for change, you know? Because once you see the dark side of certain things, you then, kind of can't go back, I think the average person, and I'm always getting feeds on, you know, videos and things on my feet because of being involved with animal rights.

[00:02:37] And there was one that kept coming up on from PETA and it was about dog leather and I never opened it, but I guess that day I was ready for change. And I opened this video on dog leather and it was horrific and it was tragic. And it was indescribable. And when I think about it, I still get goosebumps and I want to cry.

[00:03:01] And that was the day that I decided that I would no longer use anything derived from animals. And what happened was I really entered a rabbit hole because I quickly realized it just wasn't about animals. It was also about health and toxins and child labor and the planet and the environment. And I started to learn and research and read because I had to understand all of this because it just wasn't about not using wool or silk or fur or feathers or leather.

[00:03:38] And because of this research that I had done, I sort of became the expert, which I didn't even know. I have become the expert. Designers started contacting me and asking me about cruelty-free and chemical-free alternatives. And I created a course. And then I created another course, the nursery course, and we developed a membership, and we just kind of became the go-to for all things, chemical and cruelty-free and it's it's been really, really interesting and never stopped learning.

[00:04:09] It's okay. And I feel very privileged and blessed because I love what I do. And every day I wake up with such mojo. Yeah. 

[00:04:19] Rebecca: So you mentioned toxins and health, so I'm interested What kind of toxins and like, you know, problems are there with, say, for example, children's furniture, nursery furniture. When someone that's one of the big things, you know, when you find out you're pregnant, you want to have this beautiful nursery for your baby to have this wonderful place to come into the world. What are some of the toxins that are out there and what do parents need to avoid? 

[00:04:47] Deborah: Rebecca? They're over 80,000 chemicals that are approved in the textiles industry and guess what percentage are tested less than 1%. It is insane when you start to discover what is legal to use in children's furniture, bedding. And their spaces let alone adults, but for children, for newborns, for infants. Leather, for example, leather contains over 250 toxic chemicals lead arsenic chromium, carcinogens, ammonia.

[00:05:26] So when you see little leather beanbags advertised or leather rockers for children, it's crazy. Furniture anything animal-based wool blankets, bedding, mattresses that contain wool. Wool, is filled with pesticides. Anything animal based is filled with pesticides because they're animals. So even if in the finished product, they say free from pesticides, it's not true because initially there were pesticides and that's, that's called greenwashing, which I think is an important term for your, for your listeners to understand.

[00:06:01] Greenwashing is when a company will say, get this crib mattress. It's organic latex. You're like, wow, it's organic, isn't that awesome. That's called greenwashing, because guess what? Latex is dangerous for babies, whether it's organic or not, you stay away from it because latex is an allergic material like balloons.

[00:06:29] So adults can be allergic to latex, but they know they're allergic to it. When a baby is born, you don't know if it's allergic to latex. So babies die over allergic reactions to latex. So, but they're legal to sell. So greenwashing exists in almost every product. Most companies greenwash by saying that, for example, if you buy a little metal table, it'll say there's no toxic lead in this table.

[00:06:56] Well guess what? The metal doesn't contain lead to begin with. So, but the average consumer doesn't know that they get sucked in. 

[00:07:05] Rebecca: Right. I have an entire article about greenwashing because it's just so prevalent, especially in the food industry. And even my kids pick up on it. Like they'll slap gluten free on anything like potatoes; gluten-free well, guess what?

[00:07:19] Potatoes have always been free anyway. Right? 

[00:07:23] Deborah: Exactly. So it goes, I mean, I have a list here. I have, I have my little nine toxic chemicals to stay away from and they're PBTE flame retardant, which is one of the biggest contributors to intellectual disabilities, including autism, much of our furniture and fabrics contains that PFAS.

[00:07:40] I don't know if you guys have heard of that, it's called the forever chemical. It stays in your body forever. And it's in a lot of upholstery and it's completel

You probably know that daytime sleepiness is an indication that you're not getting sufficient sleep. If you have ever been sleep-deprived because you or your partner kept waking up during the night, you're not alone.

It might surprise you to know that an estimated 90% of people with sleep apnea are completely unaware of their condition.

What are the symptoms of Sleep Apnea

The signs, as well as symptoms of obstructive along with central sleep apneas, tend to overlap. This can sometimes make it tough to figure out which kind you have. The signs and symptoms that are the most common of these sleep apneas are:TMJLA.com

Snoring loudlyTimes when you stop breathing whilst sleeping, this would be told to you by someone else, i.e., your sleep partnerGasping for air whilst sleepingWaking up having a dry mouthHaving a headache in the morningFinding it tough to remain asleep or insomniaExtreme daytime sleepiness or hypersomniaFinding it tough paying attention when awakeFeeling irritableHaving heartburn

You can also read more about the risk factors for obstructive sleep apnea or central sleep apnea here.

In this episode of A Healthy Bite, Dr. David Shirazi explains how sleep apnea is related to many other conditions such as type 2 diabetes, hypertension, and more. He tackles sleep and pain problems head-on, empowering people to rewrite their narrative and take control of their health. Dr. Shirazi believes that sleep disturbances are at the basis of many health problems and that improving sleep hygiene can help folks cope with practically any ailment, including ADHD, dementia, hypertension, and more.

If you are not getting quality sleep, do yourself a favor and listen to this episode. You can find Dr. Shirazi at TMJLA.com.

Resources

Quiz for Obstructive Sleep ApneaRead more about sleep disorders and their therapies Dr. Shirazi's Google TalksDownload my ebook Why Am I So Sleepy

Sleep Apnea with David Shirazi

[00:00:00] Rebecca: Today's guest. Dr. David Shirazi is a TMJ and sleep expert. Dr. David holds too many degrees and certifications for me to list, but to read his bio, please visit thatorganicmom.com/sleep-apnea. Dr. David is a dentist and acupuncturist, a sleep expert, and lots more. If you have a sleep issue or sleep challenge, chances are Dr. David Shirazi knows how to diagnose and treat it. I hope that you'll stick around for the end of this episode, as he shares his expertise. And you can find out more about Dr. David and his work with TMJ and sleep therapy at his website, which is TMJLA.Com. 

[00:00:47] Announcer: Welcome to a healthy bite. You're one nibble closer to a more satisfying way of life, a healthier you and bite size bits of healthy motivation. Now let's dig in on the dish with Rebecca Huff.

[00:01:02] Dr. David: So I'm a dentist. I'm an acupuncturist for five years. I was a sleep technologist and I have a master's in psychology. I got into sleep because my focus was TMJ disorders and and chronic pain. And, you know, we found out that one of the reasons why we clench our teeth is because of sleep breathing disorder. And so I decided, okay, well, I should, I should learn. I should know more about these sort of things,, for example, things like TMJ and sleep, you know, sleep apnea. These are things that can't be fixed with acupuncture and herbs, right? Because if someone has a TMJ problem, if it's acute, it can be. But the problem with, with someone, with the jaw problem, If they continue to clench their teeth every night and sometimes during the day that, you know, you're never going to resolve it with acupuncture, even lasers or what have you, because the patient's going to go back into what we call parafunction.

[00:02:07] So as I was studying the sleep; the dental courses for dentists treating sleep apnea were all basically learn how to make this appliance, you know? And then buy our appliance, it was basically the gist of about 90, 95% of them. And then 

[00:02:28] Rebecca: and by appliance, do you mean the, 

[00:02:31] Dr. David: yeah, yeah. That's, that's how we treat. So the conventional treatment for sleep apnea is C-PAP machine. Yeah, you take, you know, you put this mask on and it blows air like a balloon to open up your airway and it works great, but it has a less than 50% adherence rate. So, you know, the next best thing is an oral appliance, FDA approved oral appliance. And in fact, all respectable medical bodies have all admitted that from mild to moderate apnea an oral appliance is preferred.. Cause what patients are going to stick with it. 

[00:03:07] Rebecca: And by oral appliance, can you explain what you mean by that? 

[00:03:12] Dr. David: Yeah. So, whereas a C-PAP is a pneumatic splint. It's literally putting positive airway pressure in the throat to blow it out like a balloon. And our oral appliance is a splint . It's like a physical splint.

[00:03:25] So the top and bottom pieces are attached. So that one, your jaw can't fall back and you know, when you're on your back and it can keep your airway open at a certain spot. And now we've we, we have additions to it. We can put little shelves in there that lift the tongue to help the patients swallow on the roof of their mouth.

[00:03:47] We can, we can actually have what's called the posterior tongue restrainer, which literally is like a false uvula. That's hard. And it keeps the tongue down, from falling back and rubbing up against the soft palate. And we even have ones that have like a little To kind of help open up the nasal valves as well.

[00:04:05] And of course my focus, since I know how bad the clenching and the TMJ problems can be as a result, mine always have a TMJ sort of twist to them to help control the clenching. And help minimize the clenching. I always, I almost always add that to my plan. 

[00:04:23] Rebecca: Are TMJ and sleep apnea always related?

[00:04:27] Dr. David: Okay. Not always. No, but it's hard to find a separation; reason why my office and my office by the way is a franchise we have over 65 in the world. We're all over the us, Canada, all over Australia and New Zealand, England, Bahrain, and Dubai. The, you know, and that's unprecedented for, the private sector, having a methodology to treat TMJ disorders, let alone sleep apnea.

[00:04:52] That's a whole other thing. But yeah, so we wanna make appliances to treat a TMJ disorder, to help minimize the clenching and keep the jaw in a very neutral position, what we call centric relation. And we'll actually bother to take an x-ray to find out if we did it or not. 

[00:05:08] Wow! 

[00:05:09] Dr. David: That's one of the, that's one of the ways that, you know, internally, I would tell another dentist, if a dentist said, what makes your place different than, you know, the other places that are doing it?

[00:05:20] We'll tell them, well, we do a proper neurological testing to find out if we can, the, the origins of their TMJ disorder. But externally, we, you, as a lay person, you could see, does the person not just take an x-ray to see what my jaw looks like? Do they bother to take an x-ray to see where they're putting it? Okay.

[00:05:46] That's something you can do because traditional oral facial pain doctors won't do that. And what's called neuromuscular dentist, won't do that. And they're just kind of. Crossing their fingers going. We got it. You know, sort of thing, which we don't, we don't. Yeah, 

[00:06:02] Rebecca: it's just, I'm a little hung up on this though, because if someone's clenching their jaw, it seems like it would be really hard to have, you know, snoring or whatever.

[00:06:13] I think of when I think of sleep apnea as like mouth open. And when you think of TMJ as , mouth closed. So can you explain it? I mean, to me, I'm like I'm stuck there. 

[00:06:25] Dr. David: Yeah. So there's been a couple of studies done and I'll go into more detail about what we think the origins of it are. So a polysomnogram, which is a an overnight sleep study, like in a lab with like 20 leads all over your head, face, arms, chest, and legs .

[00:06:44] And we can see what's happening in real time. And what these studies have found is that when someone's airflow was starting to slow down, Right. They didn't lose oxygen. They didn't hold their breath completely. They just had very shallow breathing like that. What they found was as the, the airflow was tanking on the thermistor, their patients were clenching their teeth.

[00:07:14] They were using their masseter muscles, right. And the clenching muscles going up. And then when the airway was went back to normal, it was no longer restricted flow. The master stopped. Right. So we, we see that. And then we also see that, so that particular condition is called upper airway resistance.

[00:07:36] When we look further and find out when there's a nasal obstruction and someone is mouth breathing and then they're, what's called entitled CO2 drops. Well, we actually see the clenching reflux happening after that. So what will happen is they'll, the mouth will be open and they'll what we say out gas, too much cO2 they'll get rid of too much CO2 and believe it or not. I know it's gonna sound shocking. CO2 is more important than oxygen as far as your body's concerned . Okay. Whereas we have one or two oxygen sensors in our body. We have close to a thousand CO2 receptors in our body right now. Evolution does not do that for fun.

[00:08:18] Right. It doesn't leave empty spaces and it doesn't create sophisticated receptors for no good reason. CO2 must be important if, if we have that many receptors in our body, right. And of course, just from, from physiologic, from physiology and medical physiology textbooks, we know that when you're sleeping, if, if you get rid of too much CO2, your body will create what's called central sleep apnea, where your brain tells your body not to breathe.

[00:08:53] Right. It's not,...

A habit is an action, choice, or decision that you perform on a regular basis. When can you call a new action a habit? That depends. Perhaps when the action reaches automaticity; doing the thing without thinking about it. When it becomes rote. 

For example, you automatically begin flossing after brushing. Your mind is elsewhere, perhaps preparing for the upcoming meeting or rethinking yesterday's events. 

But what is the amount of time it will take you to create a new desirable habit? The number of days may vary from person to person, the level of difficulty, and many other factors.

What Healthy Habits Are Most Important

The healthy habits you prioritize may differ from the ones I choose to incorporate into my daily routine. With so many ways we all differ, it makes sense that we will prioritize different habits. 

As I mentioned in this podcast episode, your family medical history might factor into which habits you incorporate first. For example, if both of your parents have heart disease, you might want to add preventative measures to the top of your priority list.

In addition, genetics play a role, so if you have had genetic testing, you have information that could potentially add years to your healthspan. 

How Long Does it Take to Develop a Good Habit?

The idea that it takes 21 days to form a habit comes from a plastic surgeon. In Dr. Maxwell Maltz's 1960 book, Psycho-Cyberneticshe stated that it takes a "minimum" of 21 days for a person to get accustomed to their new look. Over the years, people began to say it takes 21 days to form a habit. (Kind of like the gossip game where the concept changes each time it is repeated.)

The truth is it could take up to a year to form a new habit. There truly is no magic number of times to repeat a healthy habit before it becomes second nature. 

It is easier to form a new "good habit" than it is to break an old "bad habit." (Although, James Clear, in his bestseller, "Atomic Habits" points out there are no good or bad habits, only effective ones.)

Recent studies show that performing your new habit consistently in a shorter time frame with context yields better results. By context, they mean associating the habit with something you already automatically do. (This is also referred to as habit stacking, listen to a podcast about longevity habits here.)

For example, you'd like to drink more water. You can habit stack by planning to fill your water bottle when you fill your coffee cup. Making the statement of association out loud may also help. Your statement would be, "when I fill my coffee cup, I also pour a glass of water."

This works because you already have a coffee habit, now you're tagging the new desired habit onto the one you already have. 

The video I mentioned in the podcast episode can be found here.

https://youtu.be/tC5RK2pKaJU

Forming New Habits

Cue. Routine. Reward. Repeat. This is a "habit loop" according to Charles Duhigg, in his wildly popular book, "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business." He says that once we know how habits work it's easier to fiddle with the gears (make changes that stick.)

In his book, Duhigg explains how they study habits and goes in-depth about how they experiment with rats in mazes, giving them rewards in various places. He explains that habits, whether good or bad, are encoded into the structure of our brains. So a bad habit never goes away. If you quit smoking, that bad habit is still lurking in your brain, just waiting for the right cue and reward to reemerge.

That doesn't mean you can't kick a bad habit (like smoking) it simply means you need to continue your new routine to overpower those old behaviors. This is why so many smokers turn to the new habit of gum chewing.

A habit is formed.

Habit Formation

Habit formation is a topic that has been written about in perhaps hundreds of thousands of books. The bottom line is that it isn't super easy to create a new behavior, especially if it isn't something we enjoy or value. 

That is why it is so important to first figure out your why. Not just "I want to be healthy." That is too vague, you need to dig deeper. Why do you want to be healthy? To be around to love on your great-grandchildren? How about more years to make a difference in the world? What do you live for - when you discover the answer to those questions, you'll have your motivation.

Write that down somewhere and keep it where you will see it often. The thing you write down is a crucial key to your habit formation process. Although, willpower alone is usually not enough to help with habit-forming.

In the first days of building a new habit, you'll need to set up reminders, such as a notification on your phone. You can experiment with habit stacking, which is to add a new good habit onto another habit that you've already established.

Focus on More on Building Healthy New Habits Than Breaking Bad Habits

While it is definitely important to break bad habits such as smoking or driving through fast food every day for lunch, it's more important to focus on building healthy habits.

Instead of saying to yourself, "today I will not drive-through for a burger and fries" you might instead choose this statement:

"I'm a health seeker and today I will choose a lunch meal that continues to build up my health." Every single day you can wake up and say to yourself, I am a health seeker. Habits are all about what you believe to be true about yourself. Simple habits can be formed over time that contribute to self-improvement in the area or areas you are focused on. 

Self-help books liked the ones mentioned above may help you increase the odds of incorporating new habits that contribute to better physical and mental health. Choose one method and try it for a few months, or a year. Write things down, evaluate and see where you are in three months, at the end of the year. If you feel like that method of developing a new habit hasn't helped, explore other techniques. 

It can be overwhelming to "try out" lots of new habits at one time. Whether it's sit-ups, drinking water, getting up early, or eating better, you can achieve healthy habits over time.