Dying of dysentery on the Oregon Trail, but make it edgy with a creepy teacher-turned-lawyer who tries to steal your land. Plus, the only time that our slow government bureaucracy ever helped anybody.

Drink: Taylor Fladgate 10 Year Old Tawny

Disclaimer: Neither of us is a lawyer. We don't know that much about the law and are trying our best. It's possible that we get stuff wrong on this show, and nothing heard in the podcast should be taken as a perfectly accurate description of standing case law. Nothing in this show constitutes legal advice, and we're not telling you that it's OK or not OK to do anything that might break the law. Please drink responsibly.