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What does it mean to be seen? To truly be seen is to have someone recognize and acknowledge the essence of who we are—not the roles we play or the masks we wear, but the deeper self, the soul beneath the surface. To see ourselves in this way is equally profound; it means recognizing our core truth without the distortions of ego, fear, or societal conditioning.
We often go through life enacting an idea of who we believe we are, based on external influences, expectations, and the ego's defenses. This idea is usually far removed from our authentic self, which is why many people feel a disconnect or a sense of alienation from their true essence. From the moment we are born, we exist purely as a being—a source of consciousness, unburdened by concepts of identity or self-image. In this raw state, we are just presence, simply being, before we begin to develop ideas of who we are supposed to be.
Our soul, which can be understood as our purest essence or the core of our consciousness, makes its home in our body. But for the soul to feel safe and fully inhabit this body, it requires care and nurturing—both physical and emotional. This is where the role of a "mothering figure" becomes crucial. A mother or primary caregiver helps the infant integrate into their body by responding with love, affection, and empathy. Through this relational exchange, the child begins to feel grounded in their body and develops a sense of safety in their own being.
Without this nurturing, the soul may struggle to find its rightful place in the body. Instead of feeling at home in the body, there may be a sense of disconnection or dissociation. The fear of annihilation—a deep existential fear—emerges when the soul feels unsafe or unwelcome in its physical form, and this fear can cause parts of the self to withdraw or "escape," as if the body is no longer a safe container for the soul's presence.
Even when a mothering figure is present, they may not always provide what is needed for us to fully embody ourselves. This isn’t necessarily a failure of their own doing; they too may have been shaped by their own unmet needs and unhealed wounds. Many of us carry this legacy of incomplete nurturing, which can lead to a form of fragmentation. This fragmentation creates a sense of dissociation—where parts of our being feel disconnected from our core self, or we may feel split between different aspects of our identity.
This early experience of fragmentation becomes the foundation upon which the ego is formed. The ego, in this sense, serves as a protective mechanism, stepping in to manage the pain of disconnection. It becomes skilled at suppressing the emotions and unmet needs from our early experiences, often burying them deep within us. Over time, the ego constructs layers of defenses, masking the deeper wounds and keeping us in a state of disembodiment, where we feel out of touch with our own soul and body.
To truly "see" ourselves—and to be seen by others in this deeper way—is to begin the process of healing this fragmentation. It is an act of returning to the body, acknowledging the pain, and moving toward a more integrated, embodied experience of existence. This process of being seen allows the soul to reenter the body fully and to finally feel at home within it. Only then can we live not just as an idea of ourselves, but as our true, embodied selves.
