A Kiki Catchup

HAPPY FALL YA'LL. We are officially in our basic bitch era and riding high on regifted pumpkin spice candles. Mallory gives us an inside look into the world of Au Pair Tinder and introduces us to the newest, and most controversial, mom on the block. Jackie gets pissed off by the Poles this week and decides it's never too early to whip out her Witches hat. We also manage to figure out the one Halloween costume that will absolutely get us cancelled.

So Smigus your Dyngus, hop on your magic dragon and join us for all the Fall f*ckery.

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GIRL WASH YOUR FACE. Alex the Esthetician is back in the studio, but this time she's spilling the tea on all the behind the scenes of Rhode Island reality TV. From tossed raviolis to Real Housewives cancelled facials to crappy coffee - we have all the inside scoop! We also dive into the shocking love affair to come out of The Traitors turret, who's cast trip this season may be to Epstein Island and the voting controversies from Dancing with the Stars. `

Come join us in the fight against wrinkles and appointment television. Comment below on what you're watching this Fall!

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MAKE US BEAUTIFUL DAMNIT. Frozen foreheads, Coke can nipples, LASER BEAMS?? What can’t an ass-stetician do? We are so pumped {full of botox} to have Alex Sullivan from Radiant Esthetics in Newport, RI on the pod! Get all your skin questions answered as we make our amazing guest delightfully uncomfortable. 

Episode cliffnotes & product links below :)

5 Step Skincare Routine by Alex

Cleanser, Exfoliant, Antioxident {ex. Vitamin C}, Moisturizer, SPF

Alex's Product List

Cleanser - Ultra Gentle Pure Skin Face Cleanser – First Aid Beauty

Exfoliant - Daily Microfoliant Exfoliator Smooths & Brightens Skin | Dermalogica®

Antioxident - Alto Defense Serum | Antioxidant Protection | skinbetter science

Moisturizer - AlphaRet Overnight Cream| Anti-Aging Skincare| skinbetter science

SPF - sunbetter TONE SMART SPF 75 Mineral Sunscreen| skinbetter science

Jackie's Product List

Cleanser - Vanicream™ Gentle Facial Cleanser for Sensitive Skin

Exfoliant - N/A {I need to get one!)

Antioxident - Arencia - Vitamin C Booster Shot | YesStyle

Moisturizer - Hydro Boost Gel Cream | Neutrogena® {Day}

 Beauty of Joseon - Dynasty Cream | YesStyle {Night}

Snail Jizz - COSRX - Advanced Snail 96 Mucin Power Essence | YesStyle

SPF - SKIN1004 - Madagascar Centella Hyalu-Cica Water-Fit Sun Serum | YesStyle

Mallory's Product List

Cleanser - Baptism Gel Facial Cleanser Fragrance-Free | Dieux

Exfoliant - N/A {needs a better one according to this ep}

Antioxident - Molecular Hero Serum for Hyperpigmentation | Mother Science

Moisturizer - Instant Angel Lipid-Rich Firming Face Moisturizer | Dieux

SPF - ShadeDrops® Broad Spectrum SPF 50 Mineral Milk Sunscreen (US) – Summer Fridays

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WE LOVE YOU DOLLY. Gen Z expert to the stars, Katie P, pops by the pod for a little generational Q&A.  From Birkin's to Trader Joe's totes, we breakdown the question, what is luxury? We navigate the terrifying world of AI and drag ChatGpt to filth. The dying star that is The Kardashians guides us along our way. 

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THE TOWN THAT COAL FORGOT AND METH REMEMBERS. We are feeling Fifty {episodes} and Fabulous this week as we kiki like we’ve never kiki’d before!  We discover some new found conspiracies about Connecticut vs Texas country music, unpack Mallory’s facial and height woes, and brainstorm Jackie’s ideas for her next big hair move. Mallory looks into a possible job with the West Virginia tourism department while Jackie reaches the true heights of Polish living.

We also discuss our excitement for the upcoming Fall TV lineup of Dancing with the Stars, Real Housewives of Potomac, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and Traitors! Jackie’s new short lived favorite show, Double Lives of Suburban Wives, takes a dark turn and Mallory is scarred for life by what is revealed to her on the pod. 

So grab your favorite Polish non-alc flavored beer and join us for a fun 50th :)

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THIS IS NOT A SAFE SPACE. We are fully loaded and firing on all cylinders, starting with Missouri moms gone wild. Mallory brings to the red table some controversial new dads at preschool. We debate the hotness of ginger males and enlist the help of newest Real Housewife of Beverly Hills, Leah Remini, to aide us on our quest to answer the age old question: where the hell is Shelly Miscavige?!

The new cast of Dancing With The Stars is revealed and it warms our cold, dead millennial hearts. MMMBop!

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WHAT ARE YOU DOIN HERE WITHOUT DORINDA. Gen Z expert to the stars, Katie P, is BACK in the studio and we are absolutely unloading on all things Bravo TV. We reminisce about the golden years of Housewives, reveal our list of the best & worst House-husbands, call time of death on RHOC and look at look at the new season of RHONY with Epstein colored glasses. We also tackle the current off screen Bravo drama including Kim Zolciaks son's criminal accusations, Jax Taylor and "World's Worst Publicist" Lori, 

In anticipation for the upcoming season of The Traitors: New Blood", we discuss the absolute PR gift of life the show can give a struggling reality star plus Katie P share her future All Star dream cast. 

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WE JUST WANT A SALAD. Summer Vacation is officially over and we are recapping our vastly different last weeks from Bulgarian beaches to Covid containment. Jackie shares her Gyno horror stories while Mallory brings up the age old question: how do you raise resilient kids with a splendid life?

We also break down some pop culture, politics and Pooh. Pack those swimsuits away and join us for some surprising hot takes on this episode!

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WHERE IS MITCH MCCONNELL. The ladies are back from their Summer vacays and catching up on all the things. Mallory declares herself a newly minted "Coastie" after her jaunt in New England while Jackie's still in recovery after her explosive return to Poland. We give the download on what happened on our NYC meetup after we recorded the last episode, and deep dive into the birth of Facetune, the curse of "mystery bags", and the plight of airline travel. 

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START SPREADING THE NEWWWWS. We have taken the group chat out of the group chat and are back together in NYC, this time with friend of the show, Kathryn! On this episode, we introduce our daughters to the underground world, Time Square street performers, M&M slot machines and the end of our patience & sanity. Since not one of us checked the weather ahead of time, we trek through these mean streets wet from head to toe, all while avoiding diarrhea lettuce, subway rats and World Cup crowds.

So grab your bodega wine, and come hide in our hotel room and we recap our whirlwind New York weekend!

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