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What's it like to come out as gay to your twin sister? And what's life like in Arkansas? Meet Pat, a history buff, Park Ranger and 'thespian lesbian' who can  share some insight into these questions.

In this episode, she talks to Jess about her upbringing in Texas,  what it was like to start a career as a teacher and to also transition out of it, the notion of rainbow flags at work,  political neutrality when in uniform, as well as what it was like to come out to her mother and herself.

There are also conversations about allyship, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and what this might have to do with coming out, as well as thoughts about the era before 'don't ask - don't tell' in the US military.

Things mentioned in this episode:
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs; Boston Marriages, Dr. Elizabeth Macmillan (or  just Mac) 

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Surprise - we've reached the Season One Festive Special of 'A Lesbian Affair'!

So let's have a look at what makes Christmas good and how we can also talk about its associated challenges. What's love got to do with it and what about family traditions that are unique to each and every one of us?

Jess explores these and other personal questions in a celebratory round-up of conversations with Diana Souhami, Mia, Fen & Kerry, Miriam, Sarah and Fae. Trigger warning - this episode features some serious 'grinching' but also more reflective and joyful moments. Thank you for listening and see you all in the next year for Season 2.

Things mentioned in this Episode:
St Lucy's Day, Stollen, The Happiest Season,  The Priory of the Orange Tree (Book), The Marshmallow Test

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Go to the 'A Lesbian Affair' Tip Jar

Spoiler Alert: Don't Listen to this Episode in front of minors 

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What's it like to find love, and dance into a relationship that comes with its own challenges... such as navigating a 20 year age-difference? Meet Anna and Teresa, who have learned to deal with just that.

In this episode, they generously let us in on their lives; their coming out stories; how they got to know and love each other, and also what the prospect of marriage and commitment means to them individually.  We hear about Teresa's activist work during the Aids Crisis and what it was like to be a nurse for the National Health Service during less accepting times.

In turn, Anna tells us about her relationship to her parents, her experiences in college, food in relation to health and culture, personal agency, and what it means to embrace Teresa's Chinese heritage. This episode features the couple's personal experiences with Covid-19.

Things mentioned in this episode:
Amanda Burton, The 'Ice Berg' Advert, London Lighthouse, Teresa's Youtube Channel (The London Organic Grower)

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What's it like to join the circus and identify as 'not straight'? In today's episode, Jess is joined by Fae who discusses her journey into the performing arts sector and her relationship with the queer community. There is common ground as both explore historic German geopolitical issues and the impacts of those on family life, personal values and outlooks. There is talk about what it means to have been raised by parents who experienced pressures from a socialist regime and also what integrating, belonging and persevering looks like to this day. Fae talks about coming out, the legacy of her choices in life, as well as what it might have been like to be gay in the GDR.

Things mentioned in this episode that might be of interest:
Cyr Wheel (circus apparatus); Charlotte von Mahlsdorf; LGBT Rights in the GDR; The Lives of Others; The Stasi

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This week's episode features Sandra - a singer, writer, and bibliophile from London. In many ways, this podcast recording is about her story, talent and extraordinary level of resilience as she reflects on adverse childhood experiences, the stigma of abuse, as well as her relationship to the world and people in general. She deliberates on what it means to reach a level of confidence and authenticity, the act of triumph that can be achieved through coming out but also how difficult the journey to finding oneself can be. There are thoughts on the concept of freedom, what it means to be safe, the importance of music and the power of remembering...

This week's episode comes with a trigger warning as it contains graphic descriptions of child sexual abuse (skip 6:45-8:33 if affected).

Things mentioned in this episode:

Randy Crawford 'Don't Wanna be Normal'; Whitney Houston 'I Have Nothing'; Nina Simone 'I Wish I Knew (How it Would Feel To Be Free)'

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Does Tinder work in Kyrgyzstan?... Meet Krisha who might be able to tell you just that as she navigates life and dating within Kyrgyz society. In this episode, we discuss experiences around breakups, what it means to be at home in different cultures and to inhabit the linguistic mentalities that may come with them. Additionally, there are also explorations around the topics of nature vs. nurture (why are we gay?); the taste of horse milk, and what it means to experience a safe space within a setting that is not legislatively accepting of LGBT people.

Things of interest:
Kyrgyzstan; Sky Burial (book); Isabelle Eberhardt

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What does it take to be a radical bookseller? Well... meet Fen & Kerry, two women who have earned a reputation as just that. Both work for 'Letterbox Library' in London and also happen to be a lesbian couple.

In this episode, we explore historical shifts within the community, and also how the terms 'queer' and 'lesbian' have changed in what they signify depending on generations. Fen and Kerry reflect on their relationship, how it all started, coming out, and why certain friendships can at times be testing.

There are also reflections and stories about lesbian experiences at the doctor's office; dental dams and the debunking of sore throat myths...

Things mentioned in this episode:
Letterbox Library; Spacegirl Pukes; Plenty of Hugs; Patrice Lawrence

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In this episode, Jess introduces Robin who joins her for a discussion about coming out and explores why staying in the closet on a selective basis can be a matter of self-protection. She talks about how being a daughter to Chinese parents in an American setting shaped her. There are talks about love, heartbreak, endings, death, but also her first romantic experiences. Additionally this episode contains autobiographic reflections on the power of communication and what it means to avoid certain topics that might present certain cultural taboos.

Things that are mentioned that might be of interest: The Farewell (movie).

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Meet Kate Charlesworth, an award-winning illustrator, artist and graphic novelist who has recently brought out 'Sensible Footwear: A Girls Guide'. In this episode, she explores how her autobiography lent itself as a framework for the graphic novel and why re-telling lesbian and queer history is of more importance than ever. She reflects on her personal and professional life, non-monogamy, the institution of marriage, coming out, activism, and working in a male-dominated environment within the creative industry. There is also discussions about what is easier to draw: Kids, dogs or cats...

Things that are mentioned in this episode that might be of interest:
Kate's latest graphic novel - 'Sensible Footwear'; Jackie Forster; Sappho (magazine)

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Meet Sarah - a retired recruitment professional and hypnotherapist. In this episode, she explores what it means to come out late in life, how coming out changes us but also whether it impacts the ways in which we conduct our relationships. There is also talk about health taboos, Sarah's own experiences in relation to the 'butch-femme' dynamic and the implicit pitfalls of socialisation. Jess and her also discuss what the practice of hypnotherapy entails, and reflect on the importance of friendship.

Things mentioned in this episode:
Gay's the Word Bookshop JustGiving Campaign; Hypnotherapy within the UK

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