A Match Made In Space

MMIS FANS: YOUR LONG WAIT IS OVER! Was it worth it? Probably not. Ali and Jon get lost in SpaceCamp (1986) this week. Jon hates Jinx. Ali hates Jon. Both forget to mention John Williams apparently did the music in this movie. He probably should have done a better job.

SpaceCamp was directed by some guy named Harry Winer, and "stars" Indiana Jones' most irritating girlfriend, Marty McFly's Mom, John Travolta's wife, Lamar the Nerd, that guy from The OC, and some kid named Leaf that we're sure never worked again. 

Time for MMIS to go back to both the "Fourth Movie Of a Franchise" and the "Young Jon Realizes a Movie Can Be Terrible" wells for 1987's Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, which officially stomped the life out of the once mighty Christopher Reeve Superman series. Jon is considering taking a speeding bullet. Ali is thinking of leaping in front of a locomotive. Have both of them discovered their respective Kryptonites?

Superman IV: The Quest To Destroy the Superman Legacy was directed by Sidney J. Furie, and stars basically everyone from the original Superman movie but Otis and Miss Tessmacher (lucky them). It also stars Zoë Wanamaker's dad and Ernest Hemingway's granddaughter.

GOOSE JAMS!

Get on the Turnpike Towards The Area Of Increased Hazards, as Ali shows Jon 1986's best Navy recruitment video Top Gun. Ali is nauseated by the lack of sexual chemistry between our leads. Jon is just glad to be hanging with the boys. Both are sad to learn that the pattern is full.

Top Gun was directed by Tony Scott and stars Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Slider, Jester, Gooch, Pottymouth, Pancakes, Zippo, Gummo, Shemp, and Tom Skerritt. There's some Loggins, some Moroder, and some Faltermeyer.

Jon spent more time doing this than he has ever spent on a real job.

Hey, MMIS fans, welcome to a special preview episode of A Hard Grey's Night, the Internet's Most Reluctant Grey's Anatomy Podcast, where 50% of our hosts would rather be anywhere else! 

In this episode, Ali forces Jon to watch the pilot, "A Hard Day's Night," for the SECOND time, and then forces him to talk about it as politely as he can. If you haven't seen the entire series, there will be spoilers. But honestly, why watch it at all when we can just tell you what happens (Ed. Note: Jon clearly writes these summaries)

AAAAAAAUUUUUGH!

Ali and Jon both go back over the rainbow for 1985's traumatizing Return To Oz, a not-really-a-sequel-to-the-movie that proves Disney has always been in the business of scarring children for life. But is this movie as disturbing as Jon and Ali remember? (SPOILER: Yes.) Once again, one of Ali's  childhood favorites stars a preternatural brunette girl, while Jon wonders what sort of blind, idiot god would allow the Gump to be. Somehow this episode ends up being only six minutes shorter than the actual movie.

Return To Oz stars Fairuza "I'm Not Ione Skye, You Idiot" Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Piper Laurie, and a whole bunch of terrifying things. Directed by Walter Murch.

This is actually what Jon's Patronus looked like before he dropped out of Wizarding Community College.

Okay, nerds: MMIS is meeting you halfway as Jon shows Ali 1986's Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Ali can't stand all this nerd talk, but manages to maintain etiquette. Jon uses this as a platform to speak for an extended time about Edge of Etiquette. Both seem to trip over themselves to claim they're not really Star Trek fans, honest. One of them makes a convincing case...

Star Trek IV was directed by Spock. It stars Kirk, Spock, Bones, Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekhov's Chekov, with a brief guest appearance by Not Kirstie Alley. Oh, and some whales.

MMIS: Your home for gruesome Lincoln portraits.

This would be an all time classic episode, if we hadn't effed up the recording about 16 minutes in! Still, marvel at the amazing chemistry between Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn in 1987's Overboard being mirrored by Ali Goodman and Jon Wolter. Be awed as Ali forgets to set up the microphone properly. Be completely unsurprised that Jon forgets to tell the trivia that this movie was turned into a 2006 South Korean sitcom called Couple or Trouble! All this, plus Ali raps! Sort of!

Overboard also stars Edward Herrmann, Katherine Helmond, Mike Hagarty, and Rowdy Roddy McDowell. It was directed by Laverne DeFazio's brother (Jon may have mistakenly said he was her husband - we aren't going to go back and confirm this) and written by Leslie "Ms. Mrs. Doubtfire" Dixon.

Ali told Jon not to use this image and he did it anyway.

Hoooo-Boy. This one is a shambles. 

Our 16th, and most terrifying, president.

It's a Forgotten Franchise Friday (assuming you choose to listen to this on a Friday) this episode, as Ali shows Jon the second installment in the once-quite-popular Oh, God! series. Ali gets serious for a moment. Jon does impromptu exegesis of George Burns' parable of the Kitten and the Lion and/or Tiger. Do both find religion? Isn't a movie released in 1980 essentially just a 70s movie? Also, Ali accidentally creates Jon's new favorite children's character.

Oh, God! Book II stars George Burns, Louanne, Suzanne Pleschette, the Former Mister Meredith Baxter-Birney, Mork's Father-In-Law, Captain Hook, Mrs. Poole, and The Lawyer From Kramer vs. Kramer. It was directed by Gilbert Cates, and written by a five-person committee including at least one Seaman, and like all George Burns movies, includes a motorcycle chase.

Hey, did you know this episode is dropping on our one year anniversary? Neither did Ali nor Jon! That's why they don't talk about that in this episode featuring so many other amazing milestones: 1985's The Black Cauldron is their first animated movie, the first movie neither of them had seen before, and the first time they couldn't even come up with a damn hour's worth of discussion, even including X-rated tangents. Ali talks about wedding night intimacy. Jon goes deep into Gurgy's lost sodomy scene. No one ends up satisfied.

The Black Cauldron was directed by Ted Berman and the not-at-all-unfortunately named Richard Rich, based on the popular young adult fantasy series The Chronicles of Prydain, by HHHHLloyd Alexander, and starring the voices of Grant Bardsley, Susan Sheridan, Nigel Hawthorne, John Hurt, John Huston, and John Goddamn Byner.

Buy it, won't you by clicking the picture below? Or don't. It's your choice, really.