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What if the thing you thought was helping you cope… was actually the thing quietly destroying you?

Struggling with addiction, codependency, or feeling stuck in unhealthy patterns?

In this episode of A Messy Amen, I sit down with my friend Alyssa to talk about addiction, trauma, and what it really looks like to surrender your life to God, not just in words, but in the hard, uncomfortable, “I don’t want to let go of this” kind of way.

Alyssa shares her powerful testimony of overcoming drug and alcohol addiction, breaking free from codependency, and learning that surrender wasn’t about giving God pieces, it was about giving Him everything.

This conversation is honest, heavy at times, and full of the kind of moments that make you stop and think, God really does meet people in the middle of their mess.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Addiction and recovery through faith in God
• Codependency, control, and surrendering relationships
• Healing from trauma, anger, and past abuse
• Learning to hear God’s voice in the middle of the mess
• Identity in Christ and moving from brokenness to restoration

If you’ve ever tried to numb the pain, control the outcome, or hold everything together on your own, this episode will meet you there. “I thought I was just having fun… until I couldn’t stop.”

Because no matter how far you feel gone, God is still in the business of restoration.

Scriptures mentioned:

• Jeremiah 33:3
• Ephesians 3:20
• Romans 12:19-21
• Matthew 6:33

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The accompanying devotional will be posted soon on Substack, make sure you're following along on all socials so you don't miss a thing!

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What does it look like to trust God when things feel uncertain—or even uncomfortable?

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Teresa to talk about learning to hear God’s voice and follow His lead in real, everyday moments. From wrestling with failure and intrusive thoughts to stepping out in bold faith with complete strangers, Teresa shares how God has met her in both the tension and the breakthrough.

We also talk about how different our callings can look in different seasons, whether you’re out traveling and evangelizing or at home raising your family, and why both matter deeply in God’s Kingdom.

If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re hearing God correctly or wondered if you’re doing enough, this conversation is a reminder that He’s not asking for perfection, just your willingness to trust Him right where you are.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Learning to recognize and trust God’s voice
• Moving from fear and doubt into bold obedience
• Walking through failure, depression, and spiritual warfare
• Real-life stories of sharing faith in everyday moments
• Trusting God in different seasons and callings
• Why love—not perfection—is where it all begins

Key Takeaway

You don’t have to have everything figured out—you just have to be willing to trust God in the tension.

Connect + Resources

Find a devotional to go along with this episode on Substack:

https://open.substack.com/pub/amessyamenpod/p/trusting-god-in-the-tension?r=7wbogv&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true 

Find me on socials: https://linktr.ee/Amessyamenpod

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What do you do when life doesn’t turn out the way you hoped?

We all know the phrase “turn lemons into lemonade,” but what does that actually look like when the pain is real, prayers feel unanswered, and life feels heavy?

In this episode, we’re talking about what it means to trust God in the middle of it, not after things get better. Together, we unpack what Scripture really says about trials, how to “consider it joy” without pretending everything is okay, and how to come honestly before a God who is still good, even in the hard seasons.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Why gratitude in hard seasons actually matters
• Letting go of comparison and stepping into your own calling
• What it means to be held and kept by God
• Learning to trust Him—even when it’s difficult

Scriptures Mentioned:

• James 1:2–4
• Romans 8:28
• Proverbs 3:5–6
• Colossians 3:12
• Romans 5:3–5

Companion Devotional:

📖 Read along here:
https://amessyamenpod.substack.com/p/turning-lemons-into-lemonade?r=7wbogv&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=post-publish&triedRedirect=true

Connect With Us:

Follow along and stay connected:
https://linktr.ee/Amessyamenpod

About the Guest:

Tonilee Cullison has served alongside her husband, Kurt, in ministry for nearly 35 years. They currently serve as lead pastors of GraceValley Church in Saginaw, Michigan, and are parents to two adult children, Ashley (Trevor) and Andrew.

Growing up in a broken home, Tonilee developed a deep passion for helping women build peaceful, God-centered homes. What began as a chaotic childhood has become a testimony of God’s faithfulness—shaping her heart for homemaking, discipleship, and creating environments where people can flourish spiritually, relationally, and practically.

She is especially passionate about helping women break free from comparison and step confidently into their God-given purpose. Through her teaching, storytelling, and wisdom rooted in Scripture, Tonilee brings both encouragement and truth—often making you laugh one moment and reflect deeply the next. Her greatest desire is to share timely, Spirit-led truth that helps women walk in freedom and purpose.

Call to Action:

If this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who might need it, and don’t forget to follow the podcast so you don’t miss what’s coming next.