Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

In your fourth step inventory, you made a list of the improper actions that you did as well as the good, constructive accomplishments. In Step Six, you made a list of character defects. Now, Step Eight asks you to make yet another list. This one is to identify all those you have harmed, then to become willing to make amends to them all.

First on the list, put yourself, you should have no doubt whatsoever with this choice. You've harmed yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically and financially.

Have you harmed family, fellow workers, employer, church members or anyone else?

What is harm, anyway?

Harm seems to be abusing others and taking from them the right to lead their own lives. Family members loved us and we were unable or unwilling to return that love. Perhaps, instead, we failed to provide adequately for them. Was that stealing? Perhaps, as the addiction progressed, we stole anything we could from our family or from anyone that was available.

One thing is certain. We stole time and this can never be regained. Money problems will eventually be worked out, but the time lost is gone forever. With the help of our Higher Power and the program working, one day at a time, we never again will lose time or money unless we choose to return to gambling. The choice is ours, to gamble and risk progressive deterioration or not to gamble and develop a better way of life.

Did we lie? To whom and how much did we lie? Good judgment in making this list is vital. Do not assume harm. Look at each instance and list it if you feel you did harm to another. A good yardstick is to ask oneself whether omitting a name might later return to "bug" you. If yes, add that name. Let's say you wasted many hours at work as you waited and prepared your gambling actions. Now, in your new way of life, you can show your boss someone with a clear mind who can work properly giving more than is expected.

If goods or monies were stolen, all should be returned in a practical manner. A thief can hardly return ill-gotten gains without endangering themselves and their family; but they might leave money in an unmarked envelope to atone for the theft. So, these harms should be listed. The method making restitution will be determined in the step which follows. To be forgiven, one must first forgive others and then one's self. Therefore, don't leave off the list a person harmed but who had also harmed you. The entire aim is to set right the harm one has done - nothing else matters. This step is starting your return to society. Properly done, all fear will dissipate and you will be free to talk and move about as a normal person.

The list should include everyone you have harmed. After having the willingness to make amends, you will be able to resume a beneficial role in society, usually for the first time in many years.

A Day at a Time ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3EOjuiH⁠⁠⁠

G.A. A New Beginning ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3E9YgPC⁠⁠