Dear Non-Existent Self,

I feel everything. All the time. And it’s exhausting.

I’m not numb. I’m sensitive. I’m deep. I carry every feeling like it’s too big for my body. And sometimes, it’s just too much to hold. It’s really tiring being me.

In this episode, I talk about what it’s like to feel everything so deeply that it becomes paralyzing. I talk about the walls I’ve built—not to shut the world out, but because trusting anyone feels like setting myself on fire. I talk about my relationship with my family, especially my mom, and how things I thought I left behind still follow me, still shape me, still block me.

There’s a mental fog I’m only just starting to notice. A tiredness I can’t sleep off. But this is me, trying to name it. To face it. To stop pretending I’m numb, and admit that I’m overwhelmed by how much I care, how much I feel, how much I haven’t said out loud.

Love,

Me