Dear Non-Existent Self,

I feel everything. All the time. And it’s exhausting.

I’m not numb. I’m sensitive. I’m deep. I carry every feeling like it’s too big for my body. And sometimes, it’s just too much to hold. It’s really tiring being me.

In this episode, I talk about what it’s like to feel everything so deeply that it becomes paralyzing. I talk about the walls I’ve built—not to shut the world out, but because trusting anyone feels like setting myself on fire. I talk about my relationship with my family, especially my mom, and how things I thought I left behind still follow me, still shape me, still block me.

There’s a mental fog I’m only just starting to notice. A tiredness I can’t sleep off. But this is me, trying to name it. To face it. To stop pretending I’m numb, and admit that I’m overwhelmed by how much I care, how much I feel, how much I haven’t said out loud.

Love,

Me

Dear 13 Year Old Me,

You didn’t deserve the hate.

You didn’t deserve the silence, the stares, or the way the world made you feel like you were too much and not enough all at once.

In this episode, I get honest about what it was like growing up feeling like the world was against me—how much pain I carried because of my sexuality, how people decided who I was before I had a chance to figure it out for myself.

I share what I would say to that version of me now—the one who felt small, othered, and invisible.

This isn’t easy to talk about. It’s vulnerable. It’s raw. But it’s also healing. And maybe, if you’ve ever felt like that younger version of me… this episode can be healing for you too.

So if you’re listening—whether you’re a younger version of me, someone who never heard the words they needed, or just a soul who needs some truth—I hope this reminds you:

You were never the problem.

You were always worthy.

And you’re allowed to take up space.

Love,

Me

Dear Best Self,

Right now, I feel like I’m at my lowest. I’m tired, I’m overwhelmed, and I don’t really know what comes next. This episode is my way of leaving a breadcrumb trail—so that when I become you, when I find that strength again, I can look back and remember how far I’ve come.

I talk about why I started this podcast, what I’m struggling with, and what I hope for—even if those hopes feel far away right now. This isn’t polished. It’s not perfect. But it’s real. And maybe that’s enough.

So if you’re listening—whether you’re my future self or someone else who needs this too—I hope this gives you permission to be honest, to sit in the mess, and to believe in the version of you that’s still becoming.

Love,

Me