A Pretty Good Seltzer Review Podcast: Five Stars

It's a summer flavor with a wintry secret. What does starlight taste like? This sparkling seltzer, probably. This beverage has a bit of an identity crisis. Music by Steven O'Brien

Picture it: A sunny fall day. You're about to bite into the juiciest, crispiest, most delicious apple you've ever tasted. SIKE! You've opened a can of Fuji Apple flavored Spindrift. It's Sparkling Water AND Real Fruit. Because, allegedly, "real fruit tastes better". Music by Steven O'Brien.

Did you have fun on your Target run? You would if you picked up a case of Target's house brand Good & Gather Watermelon Lime sparkling water. It's a summer flavor in December, but we drink for the weather we want. Will drinking summer flavors help with Seasonal Affective Disorder? Probably not. There aren't any studies out there that definitively support that claim. Music by Steven O'Brien

Look, it's not a seltzer but who makes the rules around here? Me. I do. So sodas count. To celebrate Thanksgiving, Elle sips on a holiday-themed flavor. Cranberries are relevant to Thanksgiving so, again, it still counts. Thanks to listener Linda J. for the four-pack of Cranberry Fizz by Poppi. Music by Steven O'Brien.

Have you ever wondered, "Are dragons real? If so, what does their whisper taste like?" or "Yetis, do they enjoy snowmobiling?" or "Who is that Ancient Greek dude who drove his boat into the rocks because he heard hot ladies with fish bodies singing?" If so, Polar has developed some flavors of bubbly water for you to enjoy in very small amounts. We've got TINY CANS people. Does a small can belie a small flavor? Or worse, a small bulb? Only one way to find out! Sipping on Dragon Whispers, Mermaid Songs, Unicorn Kisses and Yeti Mischief whilst maintaining a sense of propriety and decorum proves challenging, but Elle has the tummy fortitude of a beautiful musk ox. Music by Steven O'Brien.

It's Lime. It's Mint. It's one shot of rum shy of an actual mojito. Is it the ingredients they add to make it taste like rock sweat? Or is it that one of the ingredients is bioengineered? Elle sips on skinny can of Lime with Mint Extract by Topo Chico and answers the question, "Is it any good?" Music by Steven O'Brien.

Okay, so it isn't really the time of year for Mango, but we drink for the weather we want here at Seltzer HQ. While the temps have dipped below 50 degrees Fahrenheit, in our hearts it is still breezy and tropical. It's mango all the way down. Music by Steven O'Brien

What even is a pink apple? Is it different than a Pink Lady Apple? Does it matter? In this episode, Elle pops the top on an unusual flavor from a long-standing classic: Polar. Did anyone at Polar Corporate name the bear? If so, why is the name not Bubbles? Music by Steven O'Brien

Not a seltzer, not a sparkling water, not a mineral water, not a sparkling American spring water with carbonation... It's sparkling hibiscus. If it bubbles, it's directly in our purview here at Seltzer HQ. The team at Ruby must have access to something beyond our planet because despite sourcing ingredients from planet earth, they claim to have awareness of extraterrestrial flavor. Music by Steven O'Brien

To continue celebrating the magnificent cherry blossoms, Elle is tasting three Black Cherry bubbly beverages. On deck is Black Cherry by Waterloo, Black Cherry by Crystal Geyser, and Black Cherry by Polar. Episode also contains a dispatch from the Bubbly Beat. Thank you to listeners on the other coast! Music by Steven O'Brien