A Question of Death

About the Episode

In this solo episode, I explore the connection between food, memory, & legacy. Autumn’s reflective mood leads me to discuss how cherished recipes can live on as powerful keepsakes, especially after the loss of loved ones. I delve into the fascinating tradition of Thai funeral cookbooks, their historical significance, and how they preserve both culinary and personal histories.

You'll also hear about unique gravestone recipes, a modern tribute ensuring beloved dishes remain part of the world. I reflect on my own journey to recreate my Nan Ivy’s roast parsnips, and share the recipe below.

Further Reading

• Alan Davidson’s insights on funeral cookbooks from A Kipper with My Tea
• To Die For: A Cookbook of Gravestone Recipes - Rosie Grant

Ivy’s Roast Parsnips

Ingredients

• Parsnips (1.5-2 per person)
• Beef Dripping (around 2 tbsp of fat per four parsnips)

Directions

• Preheat the oven to 200ºC
• Add the fat to a roasting tin that will hold all the parsnips in one layer.
• Place in the hot oven to heat the fat.
• Peel parsnips & divide longways into 4 long chunks
• Place them in a saucepan with cold salted water & bring to the boil. Once the water is boiling, the parsnips will need round 3 minutes to parboil.
• Drain the parsnips in a colander once parboiled, taking care not to break them.
• Toss the prepared parsnips in the roasting pan & fully coat them in the hot fat. Ensure to spread the vegetable chunks evenly in the roasting pan, so they have a chance to go crispy.
• Roast for 35-40 minutes until deeply golden & soft in the middle, regularly basting them in the hot fat throughout cooking.

A selection of Gravestone Recipes

Spritz Cookies - Naomi Odessa Miller-Dawson: November 26, 1921 - June 10, 2009 Green-Wood Cemetery Brooklyn

Fudge - Martha Kathryn 'Kay' Kirkham Andrews: August 30, 1922 - December 17, 2019 Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Utah

Christmas Cookies - Maxine Menster: August 5, 1926 - September 26, 1994 Cascade Community Cemetery, Cascade, Dubuque County, Iowa

No bake cookies - Bonnie June Rainey Johnson June 30 1935 - May 2007 Nome City Cemetery Nome, Alaska

Date and Nut Bread - Constance G. Galberd June 11 1928 - September 25, 2008 Highlands Highland Mills, NY

Snickerdoodle Cookies - Annabell Gunderson: September 19, 1920- December 14, 2007 Willits Cemetery, Mendocino County, California,

Blueberry pie - H Margaret Rees Davis: July 4, 1918-November 6, 2004 Mountain View Memorial Park. Lakewood, WA

Cheese Dip - Debra Ann Nelson: April 6, 1964 - March 8, 2021 Dow City Cemetery, Dow City, Crawford County, Iowa

Heavenly Daze Ice cream - Marian S. Montfort: December 11, 1921 - December 22, 2007 Robertson

Shearer Sugar Cookies - Fleda Jane Shearer: March 5, 1934 - June 3, 2017 Magness Cemetery, AS

Kim's Carrot Cake - Kimette Lee Decota November 4, 1956 - August 28, 2014 Cape County Memorial Park Cemetery, Cape Girardeau, Missouri

Chocolate Mint Brownies John Rodda 1941 - January 18, 2019 Maple Grove Cemetery, Wichita, KS

Dr. Death's Ranch - Marty Lee Woolf February 16, 1978 - August 1 2022. Saltese Cemetery, Greenacres. 

Chicken Soup - Valerie C Volpe, Apr. 18, 1947 - Sep. 10, 2016, Saint Matthew's Cemetery, West Seneca, NY

Meatloaf  - Beverly L. Lofland (Jul 22, 1932-Mar 10, 2006). Comal Cemetery in New Braunfels, TX

About the Podcast 

Exploring and improving our relationship with death through respectful enquiry. 

Here you’ll find conversations with those who work with the dead & grieving, in addition to episodes examining death through a lens of history & the arts, folklore and food. 

We’ll take you from ancient funerary rituals to forensic anthropologists via green burials, disaster recovery and Persephone’s pomegranates. We hope the journey & stories will provide you with some of the knowledge and empathy you need to navigate this vast hidden world as well as shine a light on the kindness and tenderness displayed by those professionals who truly take care of our dead. 

Contact: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠A Question of Death⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

About the Episode

Amy & I discussed her moving and enlightening new book released on 30 September in the UK.

About the Book

“Death is the great equalizer, but not all deaths are created equal. In recent years, there has been an increased interest and advocacy concerning end-of-life and after-death care. An increasing number of individuals and organizations from health care to the funeral and death care industries are working to promote and encourage people to consider their end-of-life wishes. Yet, there are limits to who these efforts reach and who can access such resources. These conversations come from a place of good intentions, but also from a place of privilege.

Too Poor to Die: The Hidden Realities of Dying in the Margins, a collection of closely connected essays, takes the reader on a journey into what happens to those who die while experiencing homelessness or who end up indigent or unclaimed at the end of life. Too Poor to Die bears witness to the disparities in death and dying faced by some of society’s most vulnerable and marginalized and asks the reader to consider their own end-of-life and disposition plans within the larger context of how privilege and access plays a role in what we want versus what we get in death.”

⁠https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/too-poor-to-die-the-hidden-realities-of-dying-in-the-margins-amy-shea/7877982?ean=9781978843981&next=t⁠

About the Author

Amy Shea is an essayist, and is the author of Too Poor to Die: The Hidden Realities of Dying in the Margins. Her work has appeared in The Missouri Review, Pangyrus, Portland Review, The Massachusetts Review, Spry Literary Journal, Fat City Review, From Glasgow to Saturn, & the Journal of Sociology of Health & Illness. She works as the Writing Program Director for Mount Tamalpais College, a free community college for the incarcerated people of San Quentin Rehabilitation Center. 

About the Podcast 

Exploring and improving our relationship with death through respectful enquiry.

Here you’ll find conversations with those who work with the dead and grieving, in addition to episodes examining death through a lens of history & the arts, folklore and food. 

We’ll take you from ancient funerary rituals to forensic anthropologists via green burials, disaster recovery and Persephone’s pomegranates. We hope the journey & stories will provide you with some of the knowledge and empathy you need to navigate this vast hidden world as well as shine a light on the kindness and tenderness displayed by those professionals who truly take care of our dead. 

Contact: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠A Question of Death⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

About the Episode

In this episode we discussed the ethics around eating meat, hunting for food and the cycles of life. Should we honour the sacrifice of the animal on our plate or have we gotten so far from the earth and what it provides that we can consider meat and fish as just another item in a nutritional profile?

This was a wide ranging discussion which also included the death of a close family member and funeral plans as well as environmental challenges.

Valentine Warner is Food Writer & Chef. You can find him on Instagram

Scribehound Food can be found here

About the Podcast 

Exploring and improving our relationship with death through respectful enquiry.

Here you’ll find conversations with those who work with the dead and grieving, in addition to episodes examining death through a lens of history & the arts, folklore and food. 

We’ll take you from ancient funerary rituals to forensic anthropologists via green burials, disaster recovery and Persephone’s pomegranates. We hope the journey & stories will provide you with some of the knowledge and empathy you need to navigate this vast hidden world as well as shine a light on the kindness and tenderness displayed by those professionals who truly take care of our dead. 

Contact: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠A Question of Death⁠⁠⁠⁠

About the Episode

Enjoy this fascinating conversation with Dr Icy Sedgwick about the Death Goddesses, Persephone & Hel via a short Hecate detour.

We explore the connections between female deities and traditional views of femininity and how death Goddesses disrupt these ideas. It is wise to remember that Goddesses can and often do more than one job.

This episode also answers the long debated question whether there is any connection between Persephone’s particular fruit: the pomegranate, a Gregg’s Yum Yum and a custard tart from a sadly defunct bakers called Firkins.

Icy is a folklore writer and host of the Fabulous Folklore podcast. You can find her via her ⁠website⁠ and as @icysedgwick on all the socials.

About the Podcast 

Exploring and improving our relationship with death through respectful enquiry.

Here you’ll find conversations with those who work with the dead and grieving, in addition to episodes examining death through a lens of history & the arts, folklore and food. 

We’ll take you from ancient funerary rituals to forensic anthropologists via green burials, disaster recovery and Persephone’s pomegranates. We hope the journey & stories will provide you with some of the knowledge and empathy you need to navigate this vast hidden world as well as shine a light on the kindness and tenderness displayed by those professionals who truly take care of our dead. 

Contact: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠A Question of Death⁠⁠⁠

About the Episode

“You’re going to die. That’s not meant as a threat, by the way. Just establishing a premise.” 

― Evie King, Ashes to Admin: The Caseload of a Council Funeral Officer 

In this episode I had wonderful conversation with Evie King about her wonderful book Ashes to Admin where she shared her story of how she became a Council Funeral Officer. The book contains intriguing and moving stories of some of those Evie worked who were the beneficiaries of a Section 46 funeral.  

Discover the importance of rituals, the realities of funeral poverty, and how we can better prepare for the inevitable. 

You can buy her book here: Ashes to Admin

As part of her campaign to help raise the standard of Council funerals across the UK you can find  the text to send your MP here: https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/25061214-mp-email---council-funerals

About the Podcast 

Exploring and improving our relationship with death through respectful enquiry.

Here you’ll find conversations with those who work with the dead and grieving, in addition to episodes examining death through a lens of history & the arts, folklore and food. 

We’ll take you from ancient funerary rituals to forensic anthropologists via green burials, disaster recovery and Persephone’s pomegranates. We hope the journey & stories will provide you with some of the knowledge and empathy you need to navigate this vast hidden world as well as shine a light on the kindness and tenderness displayed by those professionals who truly take care of our dead. 

Contact: ⁠⁠⁠A Question of Death⁠⁠

About the Episode

I spoke with the wonderful Dr Dan O‘Brien in a fascinating discussion about historic funerary journeys. In or conversation he shared how this area of historical research had first attracted him as well as revealing why somepeople would brave the serious danger and significant expense of long distance travel with the dead rather than bury them close to where they died.

Dr Dan is also is a Visiting Research Fellow at the Centre for Death and Society, University of Bath. His research focuses on the undertaking trade and their products in eighteenth century England. He can also be found on Instagram where he shares glorious historic memento mori artefacts and art.

Some things mentioned in the episode:

Sir Henry Upton portrait - https://www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/portrait/mw06456/Sir-Henry-Unton

The book I couldn’t remember: Unruly: A History of England's Kings and Queens a book by David Mitchell.

The book buried in the pile: Death, grief, and mourning in contemporary Britain by Gorer, Geoffrey 1965

About the Podcast 

Exploring and improving our relationship with death through respectful enquiry.

Here you’ll find conversations with those who work with the dead and grieving, in addition to episodes examining death through a lens of history & the arts, folklore and food. 

We’ll take you from ancient funerary rituals to forensic anthropologists via green burials, disaster recovery and Persephone’s pomegranates. We hope the journey & stories will provide you with some of the knowledge and empathy you need to navigate this vast hidden world as well as shine a light on the kindness and tenderness displayed by those professionals who truly take care of our dead. 

Contact: ⁠⁠A Question of Death⁠

About the Episode

Samhain is celebrated by many of those who practice in the pagan tradition. As the veil between worlds thins during the end of October and beginning of November, we delve into the rich tapestry of traditions and rituals that connect us to our ancestors. Join us for a captivating conversation with Ceryn Rowntree, a storyteller, medium, and witch from the northeast of England, as she shares her unique perspective on death and the spiritual practices that ground her in nature and ancestry.

Ceryn offers insight into her personal rituals, such as the silent supper, a beautiful practice that honours her ancestors by inviting them to partake in a meal. This episode explores the deep connections between food, tradition, and the timeless bonds we share with those who came before us. We also discuss the importance of ritual in grief and the universal need for a place and opportunity to say goodbye.

Discover how Ceryn’s ancestral ties and spiritual beliefs influence her daily life, providing comfort and a profound sense of belonging. This episode is a reminder of the commonalities we share in our experiences with death and the enduring power of love that transcends time and space.

For those interested in the intersection of food and death, a series of articles is available via the podcast newsletter on Substack. Subscribe for free to receive these insights directly.

My guest Ceryn Rowntree celebrates this ritual and has been kind enough to talk to me about this and her practice and how it connects her to nature and her ancestors. I learned so much and thoroughly enjoyed this conversation and I hope you will too.

If you want to find out more about Ceryn or work with her, you can find her on her website, or Instagram

About the Podcast 

Exploring and improving our relationship with death through respectful enquiry.

Here you’ll find conversations with those who work with the dead and grieving, in addition to episodes examining death through a lens of history & the arts, folklore and food. 

We’ll take you from ancient funerary rituals to forensic anthropologists via green burials, disaster recovery and Persephone’s pomegranates. We hope the journey & stories will provide you with some of the knowledge and empathy you need to navigate this vast hidden world as well as shine a light on the kindness and tenderness displayed by those professionals who truly take care of our dead. 

Contact: ⁠A Question of Death

About the Episode

"Life really is so precious and so fragile. There's no greater lesson from my work than that."

A fascinating and uplifting conversation with the incredible Lucy Easthope,

A conversation with Lucy Easthope, an emergency planner and author of "When the Dust Settles." Lucy shares her experiences in emergency planning, the significance of her book's title, and the complex balance between operational priorities and the needs of grieving families. She delves into the importance of honest communication, the fragility of memories, and the role of rituals and personal effects in the aftermath of disasters.

Lucy also discusses the challenges of post disaster, the psychological impact on responders, how to rebuild communities and the importance of mentoring and support within the profession. Her insights into the human aspects of disaster planning and recovery provide valuable lessons for both professionals and the general public.

If you don't know of Lucy then I'll quote from her book description: Lucy is a world-leading authority on recovering from disaster. She has been at the centre of the most seismic events of the last few decades, advising on everything from the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami to the 7/7 bombings, the Christchurch earthquake in New Zealand, the Grenfell fire and the Covid-19 pandemic in. In every catastrophe, Lucy is there to pick up the pieces and prepare for the next one. She holds governments to account, helps communities rally together, returns personal possessions to families, and holds the hands of the survivors.

You can buy her wonderful Sunday Times Bestselling book: When the Dust Settles - Searching for Hope After Disaster

If you want to know more about Lucy and her work you can visit her website or follow her on X and Instagram

Resources

Centre for Death and Society
 https://www.bath.ac.uk/research-centres/centre-for-death-society/

New Zealand Red Cross
https://www.redcross.org.nz/get-help/emergencies-and-disasters/

BBC Sounds - The Witch
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p07q9h6r

Disaster Action
http://www.disasteraction.org.uk/

British Library

https://www.bl.uk/)

Grenfell Tower Fire

https://www.grenfelltowerinquiry.org.uk/

About the Podcast 

Exploring and improving our relationship with death through respectful enquiry.

Here you’ll find conversations with those who work with the dead and grieving, in addition to episodes examining death through a lens of history & the arts, folklore and food. 

We’ll take you from ancient funerary rituals to forensic anthropologists via green burials, disaster recovery and Persephone’s pomegranates. We hope the journey & stories will provide you with some of the knowledge and empathy you need to navigate this vast hidden world as well as shine a light on the kindness and tenderness displayed by those professionals who truly take care of our dead. 

Contact: A Question of Death

About the Episode

Have you ever said to a grieving friend or family member - ‘Let me know what I can do to help?’ This conversation gives some insight into why they might not ever ask. It also provides some ideas of tangible things you could actually do to help.

We also shared how important it is to simply be there for those close to you who are grieving. Helping with practicalities can also be the first step into making space for healing and non judgmental conversations about grief. 

I spoke with Ashley-Anne Masters about all of this, our own grief experiences and how the internet can provide us with communities and human connection when we cannot confide in those close to us for a multitude of reasons. 

Some Resources

https://www.mealtrain.com/

https://takethemameal.com/

https://www.poplin.co/

https://www.rinse.com/

https://www.frive.co.uk/gift-cards

https://www.cookfood.net/giftcards

https://ttfa.org/

https://clairebidwellsmith.com/

https://www.hopeedelman.com/

https://goodmourning.com.au/

https://modernloss.com/

https://endwellproject.org/

https://www.compassionatefriends.org/

The amazing book that my brain could not find the name of is Ashes to Admin by Evie King.

About the Podcast 

Exploring and improving our relationship with death through respectful enquiry.

Here you’ll find conversations with those who work with the dead and grieving, in addition to episodes examining death through a lens of history & the arts, folklore and food. 

We’ll take you from ancient funerary rituals to forensic anthropologists via green burials, disaster recovery and Persephone’s pomegranates. We hope the journey & stories will provide you with some of the knowledge and empathy you need to navigate this vast hidden world as well as shine a light on the kindness and tenderness displayed by those professionals who truly take care of our dead. 

Contact: ⁠⁠⁠A Question of Death

About the Episode

A discursive conversation with the wonderful Dr Alessandra Pino exploring the complex relationship between food and death in fiction. We discussed The Garden Party by Katharine Mansfield, Lamb to the Slaughter by Roald Dahl, Strong Poison by Dorothy L Sayers and the novels of Andrea Camilleri. There are definitely spoilers plus my recipe for leftover lamb shawarma which I am worryingly pleased about when you consider the subject matter we are discussing at that stage in the conversation. I also can’t promise we won’t make you yearn for amazing Sicilian food by the end.

Allie is releasing The Gothic Cookbook Hauntingly Delicious Recipes Inspired by 13 Classic Tales on 24 September in the US and 3 October in the UK. This is a simply gorgeous book and released just in time for the darker months of the year. Allie is the co-host of the Fear Feasts podcast with Vanessa Baca as well as the co-host of the A is for Apple podcast alongside Sam Bilton and Neil Buttery.

You can find Allie on Instagram @sasacharlie and on X at @foodforflo

About the Podcast 

Exploring and improving our relationship with death through respectful enquiry.

Here you’ll find conversations with those who work with the dead and grieving, in addition to episodes examining death through a lens of history & the arts, folklore and food. 

We’ll take you from ancient funerary rituals to forensic anthropologists via green burials, disaster recovery and Persephone’s pomegranates. We hope the journey & stories will provide you with some of the knowledge and empathy you need to navigate this vast hidden world as well as shine a light on the kindness and tenderness displayed by those professionals who truly take care of our dead. 

Contact: ⁠⁠A Question of Death