A Satisfied Mind

Recently, I have posted a number of articles and podcasts that reference the work of others. In doing so, I have not appropriately acknowledged the source of the content nor the people who created the work I referenced. I have passed this work off as my own, when it is not. I have shared work, concepts, processes, ideas and intellectual property that are not mine to share. 

This is plagiarism and in breach of both copyright and explicit agreements made. My ignorance is no excuse, I commit to remedying this and ensuring that everything I share is done so with permission and appropriate referencing. To those whose work I have misappropriated and to everyone I have mislead, I am deeply sorry. 

I have been learning more about my role in perpetuating an individualistic, capitalist, patriarchal ideology and paradigm.

I commit to learning more and doing better when it comes to understanding and dismantling this destructive system through what I write and share and through my work and actions in general. 

Thank you for listening,

Michael

This conversation is a sensitive and vulnerable one. On the day I write this intro and publish this episode, my family gathers to remember the one year anniversary of my nephew David's passing. I've had a number of conversations with my sister Sharyn about his passing and her experience over the past 12 months. Each time I've been humbled and inspired by her strength and courage in the face of unimaginable grief.

I asked if she would be willing to share some of her experience with me, with us, on this podcast as I think these difficult conversations are the most important. What you'll find here is an insight into her experience of loss and grief, of processing and meaning making, of celebrating life and honouring David's legacy. It's a really powerful conversation and I'm grateful to have been able to have it and share it with you here.

If the content of this episode brings up issues for you and you need support or you know someone who does, please access help via the links below.  I hope that sharing this story will help us all learn to be more mindful of and present to the privilege of living a life, and to be able to have the difficult conversations about loss and grief when we need to.

With love,

Mikey

Lifeline - 13 11 14

Beyond Blue - anxiety, depression and suicide prevention

Black Dog Institute - mental health support and suicide prevention

A big topic, an important one. Consider this a conversation starter – how can we men take greater responsibility for our emotional awareness and development and how can we support each other in doing so.

I provide more context as to why this is an urgent conversation in the episode, as well as addressing some definitions. 

I suggest five considerations when approaching this work: 

1. Acknowledging that you are a multitude of parts and personalities
2. Realising you are a result of the conditioning you experienced throughout your life, especially the conditioning of your childhood years
3. Understanding these parts and why you do what you do is essential to regulating your nervous system
4. Self-regulation is essential for healthy relationshipping
5. You can change, your’e not inherently broken of flawed

Below are links to teachers referenced in the episode.

I hope this is of value. Have a listen, share it with someone you think needs to hear it and let's do this important and hard work together, with love.

Mikey

Kerrie Basha - shadow work
Laurita Gorman - somatic work and nervous system regulation
Francis Weller - grief, shadow and initiation
Mark Groves - relationships
Sarah Baldwin - nervous system regulation, attachment theory and relationships
Bill Plotkin - soul initiation
Richard Schwartz - Internal Family Systems (IFS)

If you like this podcast you're going to love our newsletter. Come and join this growing community – it's full of inspiration, resources and good vibes for you at the end of the week.

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This where the magic happens, this is how self love happens – Self Leadership.

For more on this and the IFS model, including guided meditations, check out these resources:

No Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz

Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts - Richard Schwartz

With love,

Mikey

This where the magic happens, this is how self love happens – Self Leadership.

For more on this and the IFS model, including guided meditations, check out these resources:

No Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz

Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts - Richard Schwartz

With love,

Mikey

This episode is for anyone who feels like they're losing the plot, at war with themselves, fighting a raging inner critic or shame monster or your very own personal Voldemort.

I believe the only way to love - to love yourself and others, truly, is to first reconcile the parts of you that are not aligned with love. 

If you have parts that feel like they're in conflict with each other or even with you, if you're doing a number on yourself, you're self destructive or self loathing, I got you.

You're not broken.

Coming home to cultivate a safe space within for alignment might feel like it's the hardest thing you'll ever do, but this compassion for self is the most important work we'll do.

That is, if we are to love and be loved and to truly live a full-spectrum life. 

It's worth it. Fuck, what else are you going to do with this life and how's that working out for you?

Here's to embracing it all. 

This episode is for anyone who feels like they're losing the plot, at war with themselves, fighting a raging inner critic or shame monster or your very own personal Voldemort.

I believe the only way to love - to love yourself and others, truly, is to first reconcile the parts of you that are not aligned with love. 

If you have parts that feel like they're in conflict with each other or even with you, if you're doing a number on yourself, you're self destructive or self loathing, I got you.

You're not broken.

Coming home to cultivate a safe space within for alignment might feel like it's the hardest thing you'll ever do, but this compassion for self is the most important work we'll do.

That is, if we are to love and be loved and to truly live a full-spectrum life. 

It's worth it. Fuck, what else are you going to do with this life and how's that working out for you?

Here's to embracing it all. 

I had the privilege of attending a funeral recently. I consider it a privilege, for it was an opportunity to witness a most vulnerable and intimate and heartfelt sharing of love and the acknowledgment of legacy of a much loved man's life. Of course there's the grief of loss, but there is beauty in that too, there is beauty in the entire human experience and the expression of it.

If nothing else, it was a reminder of just how true that Maya Angelou quote is, it's my favourite, "that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

May we continue to live lives worth telling great stories about – stories of love and generosity and adventure and meaningful contribution to something other than ourselves. 

If you've ever felt conflicted or torn between different parts of you that seem at odds with each other. If you've ever acted 'out of character' and were shocked by what came over you, wondering what happened. If you've ever acted irrationally in situations that didn't warrant it, or been triggered by otherwise innocuous circumstances or people.

If you've ever felt like there's an angel on one should and a devil on the other, or wondered whether there is something wrong with you because you have what seems like multiple personalities all fighting for attention.

You're not alone.  Welcome to being a human. And welcome to getting to know yourself, your whole self and all your parts.

The good news is, there is nothing wrong with you.

Internal Family Systems is a paradigm for understanding our mind, ourselves and why we do what we do. I've studied psychology, philosophy, therapy, theories of self, spirituality, humans and human behaviour for most of my life, searching for answers to why we do what we do.

IFS is where the penny dropped and changed my life.

In this episode I provide an introduction to the model and a summary of key understandings. I hope it's as helpful and liberating for you as it has been for me.

For more info and resources:

Richard Schwartz and the IFS Institute - with plenty of resources and courses

No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz - his latest book

Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts - audiobook with guided meditations if you want to experience the model more, this is brilliant

If you've ever felt conflicted or torn between different parts of you that seem at odds with each other. If you've ever acted 'out of character' and were shocked by what came over you, wondering what happened. If you've ever acted irrationally in situations that didn't warrant it, or been triggered by otherwise innocuous circumstances or people.

If you've ever felt like there's an angel on one should and a devil on the other, or wondered whether there is something wrong with you because you have what seems like multiple personalities all fighting for attention.

You're not alone.  Welcome to being a human. And welcome to getting to know yourself, your whole self and all your parts.

The good news is, there is nothing wrong with you.

Internal Family Systems is a paradigm for understanding our mind, ourselves and why we do what we do. I've studied psychology, philosophy, therapy, theories of self, spirituality, humans and human behaviour for most of my life, searching for answers to why we do what we do.

IFS is where the penny dropped and changed my life.

In this episode I provide an introduction to the model and a summary of key understandings. I hope it's as helpful and liberating for you as it has been for me.

For more info and resources:

Richard Schwartz and the IFS Institute - with plenty of resources and courses

No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz - his latest book

Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts - audiobook with guided meditations if you want to experience the model more, this is brilliant