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This ain't no trip to Lapland, and it's not your moms plum pudding. And it's most certainly not a hallucination brought on by Russian vodka poisoned by Chernobyl! What it is, is a Yuletide celebration to rival any stocking stuffer you're sure receive. 

Let us never forget the sentiments of Frank Cross at this time of year. The most magical moment for humanity. Yule love it!

It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens, mom's cooking chicken.....oops, wrong miracle monologue. 

It's Christmas Eve! It's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be. It's really a sort of a miracle, because it happens every Christmas Eve. And if you waste that miracle, you're gonna burn for it, I know what I am talking about. You have to do something. You have to take a chance. You do have to get involved. There are people that are having trouble making their miracle happen. There are people that don't have enough to eat, or people that are cold. You can go out and say hello to these people. You can take an old blanket out of the closet and say "Here!", you can make them a sandwich and say "Oh, by the way, here!" I get it now! And if you give, then it can happen, then the miracle can happen to you! It's not just the poor and the hungry, it's everybody's who's gotta have this miracle! And it can happen tonight for all of you! If you believe in this spirit thing, the miracle will happen and then you'll want it to happen again tomorrow. You won't be one of these bastards who says "Christmas is once a year and it's a fraud", it's NOT! It can happen every day, you've just got to want that feeling. And if you like it and you want it, you'll get greedy for it! You'll want it every day of your life and it can happen to you! I believe in it now! I believe it's going to happen to me now! I'm ready for it! And it's great. It's a good feeling, it's really better than I've felt in a long time. I'm ready. Have a Merry Christmas, everybody.

Shitter's full.