A Solo Person's Guide to ADHD

I jumped on the Marie Kondo bandwagon completely — read the book, watched the show. I was fully ready to hold every item I owned and ask if it sparked joy.

Then I actually tried it.

My shirts do not fold like that. They do not fit in drawers like that. And the 40-book limit? Sweetheart, if I had my way I'd own forty bookshelves, not forty books. Have I read them all? No. Will I? Maybe! Do they spark joy sitting there unread? Also yes, don't @ me.

And the part where you drag every single piece of clothing you own onto your bed and sort it one item at a time? That's not decluttering, that's a hostage situation with your own wardrobe. I got halfway through the pile, my ADHD brain said "cool, now let's go work on the novel," and suddenly I had no bed and a lot of unprocessed guilt. Thanks, Marie Kondo. You're the reason I have insomnia.

Here's the thing — I don't think her method is wrong, exactly. I think it's wrong for brains like mine. It assumes you can start a task and finish it in one sitting, in order, without getting derailed by a boot that "might fit with thinner socks." Ours doesn't work that way.

So if the fold-and-spark-joy method isn't it for ADHD brains, what is? That's exactly what I built the October Decluttering Challenge to answer — a full month, $47, made for people who will absolutely get distracted halfway through the pile on the bed. I promise I will never once ask you to put all your clothes on it. Unless that's already where they live. No judgment.

Links to join below.

October Declutter Challenge signup https://twocatscoaching.my.canva.site

Solo, ADHD, and tired of pretending you have it all figured out? Same. Here's where to find more of me:

📅 Free 30-min chat: https://calendar.app.google/2ZDmNHVHGSvotRR17
📱 Text me: 720-432-3290
📧 Email: [email protected]
📝 Free PDF + newsletter: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH
🌐 Website: www.twocatscoaching.com
🎧 More episodes: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com
📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697
✍️ Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com
👥 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386
📸 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/
🧠 Weekly trivia game, Quizlandia: https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia
☕ Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/christine2

Let's talk about how most people clean a closet — and how those of us with ADHD actually do it, which turn out to be two extremely different documents.

One: set a wildly unreasonable timeline. Two hours, closet done, Goodwill pile sorted, all before my lunch meeting. Totally doable. (It was not doable.)

Two: make it worse before you make it better — because apparently the plan was to drag every single item out and throw it across the room. Clothes on the bed, still on the hangers, because I'm not a maniac. Laundry dumped in the corner. Shoe baskets repurposed. Closet: empty. Mission: "accomplished?"

Three: start making decisions based purely on emotion. These boots don't fit, but they might, with thinner socks. Do they make thinner trouser socks? I should check. Oh, coffee's on sale — better order a few months' worth. Wait, what was I even doing?

Four: develop wildly ambitious plans for the donate pile. These shoes are from a play I did — I bet a costume shop wants them. I should call four or five costume shops. (I don't know any costume shops.)

Five: realize you're hungry, realize you're late for work, abandon ship.

And that, friends, is how someone with ADHD cleans a closet. Spoiler: I was pulling outfits off that bed for a solid week afterward.

But here's the actual point of the episode — we didn't fail. We did exactly what every ADHD brain does with a closet: wanted to see everything before deciding, then ran out of bandwidth to actually decide. The mess isn't proof we're lazy. It's proof the plan was wrong from the very first drag-everything-out.

If you want the version of this that doesn't end in a week of bed-archaeology, come join the October Decluttering Challenge — kicks off September 30th, $47 for a full month of support, and yes, we're covering closets, but a lot more than that too.

October Declutter Challenge signup https://twocatscoaching.my.canva.site

Solo, ADHD, and tired of pretending you have it all figured out? Same. Here's where to find more of me:

📅 Free 30-min chat: https://calendar.app.google/2ZDmNHVHGSvotRR17
📱 Text me: 720-432-3290
📧 Email: [email protected]
📝 Free PDF + newsletter: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH
🌐 Website: www.twocatscoaching.com
🎧 More episodes: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com
📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697
✍️ Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com
👥 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386
📸 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/
🧠 Weekly trivia game, Quizlandia: https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia
☕ Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/christine2

It's Been a Rough Week

For the first time in eighteen years, I'm a cat person without a cat. My business, Two Cats Coaching, is named for Remington Steele Cat and Laura Holt Cat — my soul cat and his companion of thirteen years. Remy's been gone fourteen months. And I put Laura down the same day Dolly Parton died.

This episode is about both losses — what it's like to lose a piece of your identity along with a pet, and what a woman in rhinestones and wigs taught me about standing fully in your own. A lot of my clients find me because they know I'm a cat person — cat person to cat person, we trust each other fast. If this one hits home, come say hi at twocatscoaching.com.

Solo, ADHD, and tired of pretending you have it all figured out? Same. Here's where to find more of me:

📅 Free 30-min chat: https://calendar.app.google/2ZDmNHVHGSvotRR17
📱 Text me: 720-432-3290
📧 Email: [email protected]
📝 Free PDF + newsletter: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH
🌐 Website: www.twocatscoaching.com
🎧 More episodes: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com
📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697
✍️ Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com
👥 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386
📸 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/
🧠 Weekly trivia game, Quizlandia: https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia
☕ Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/christine2

Two years ago, at 61, I found out I have inattentive ADHD. In this episode, you’ll hear about the years I spent not knowing why relationships never stuck, why organization felt impossible, and why I'd mull over things for days when they went "wrong." But you'll also hear what changed once I understood the cause: how I built the coaching practice that didn't exist yet for solo adults with ADHD, and why being single for the last 20 years has been one of my best decisions.

If you've ever wondered whether a late diagnosis could still change things for you, this one's for you. And if you're recognizing every sign but still don't know how to build a life around it without someone else there to pick up the slack — that's exactly what I help my clients do. Find me at twocatscoaching.com.

Solo, ADHD, and tired of pretending you have it all figured out? Same. Here's where to find more of me:

📅 Free 30-min chat: https://calendar.app.google/2ZDmNHVHGSvotRR17
📱 Text me: 720-432-3290
📧 Email: [email protected]
📝 Free PDF + newsletter: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH
🌐 Website: www.twocatscoaching.com
🎧 More episodes: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com
📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697
✍️ Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com
👥 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386
📸 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/
🧠 Weekly trivia game, Quizlandia: https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia
☕ Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/christine2

Travel can be exciting, freeing, and a little overwhelming—especially when you’re doing it solo and your brain has ADHD.

In this episode, recorded from the middle of a two-week trip, I share some of my favorite ADHD-friendly travel tips. From packing lighter and planning for laundry to building in buffer time and giving yourself permission to change your mind, these are practical strategies that help make travel less stressful and more enjoyable.

Whether you’re planning a weekend getaway or a longer adventure, these simple ideas can help you travel with more confidence and a lot less overwhelm.

In This Episode:

• Why packing light matters when you’re traveling solo
• The laundry hack that lets you bring fewer clothes
• How to avoid common ADHD travel pitfalls
• Staying safe while traveling alone
• Using public transportation and delivery services
• Why downtime is part of the trip
• The importance of flexibility and changing plans
• Giving yourself permission to travel your way

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.

Product Links (The links below are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I personally use, genuinely like, or believe may be helpful to my audience.)

Travelon Bag: https://amzn.to/4e1RJH3

Air Tags: https://amzn.to/4u4Prg3

Loop Earbuds: https://amzn.to/4vscR0d

Kind Bars (these are pricey on Amazon, I buy them on sale at the grocery store): https://amzn.to/3PDPYYp

About me: Christine Dunning is a Master Certified Life Coach, owner of Two Cats Coaching, and host of A Solo Person’s Guide to ADHD. She helps single adults with ADHD create systems and support so life feels intentional instead of chaotic.

Free PDF & Newsletter sign-up: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH

Website: www.twocatscoaching.com

Podcast homepage: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com

YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697

Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com

Facebook (group): https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/

Want trivia fun?  I’m also a trivia master! I run a weekly online game. https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia

Solo, ADHD, and tired of pretending you have it all figured out? Same. Here's where to find more of me:

📅 Free 30-min chat: https://calendar.app.google/2ZDmNHVHGSvotRR17
📱 Text me: 720-432-3290
📧 Email: [email protected]
📝 Free PDF + newsletter: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH
🌐 Website: www.twocatscoaching.com
🎧 More episodes: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com
📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697
✍️ Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com
👥 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386
📸 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/
🧠 Weekly trivia game, Quizlandia: https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia
☕ Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/christine2

From Doing to Done — How to Finish What You’ve Started

Do you have unfinished projects everywhere? Half-done tasks, abandoned hobbies, paperwork piles, and things that are almost complete — but somehow never get finished?

In this episode, Christine talks about why finishing is often harder than starting when you have ADHD. You’ll learn why motivation disappears mid-project, how executive functioning affects completion, and practical ways to make tasks easier to finish without relying on willpower alone.

Topics include:

• Why “almost done” can feel impossible
• ADHD and sustained attention
• Decision fatigue and task avoidance
• Small steps that actually help
• Building systems that support completion

If you’ve ever wondered why you can start things easily but struggle to cross the finish line, this episode is for you.

Did you miss the From Stuck to Starting episode? Find it here.

Solo, ADHD, and tired of pretending you have it all figured out? Same. Here's where to find more of me:

📅 Free 30-min chat: https://calendar.app.google/2ZDmNHVHGSvotRR17
📱 Text me: 720-432-3290
📧 Email: [email protected]
📝 Free PDF + newsletter: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH
🌐 Website: www.twocatscoaching.com
🎧 More episodes: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com
📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697
✍️ Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com
👥 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386
📸 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/
🧠 Weekly trivia game, Quizlandia: https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia
☕ Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/christine2

ADHD paralysis is when you want to do something—but can’t start. It’s not laziness or procrastination—it’s your brain getting stuck in a fear response.

Key Shifts

• Drop the shame
• Stop asking “why?” → ask “what’s one step?”
• Focus on starting, not finishing

What Actually Helps

• Get it out of your head (say it or write it)
• Break tasks into very small steps
• Try the Just Five Method (5-minute timer + start)
• Adjust your environment (music, location, noise)
• Use support (accountability, body doubling)

Try This!

Pick one task and do just five minutes.

Next episode: From Doing to Done: How to Finish What You Start

Solo, ADHD, and tired of pretending you have it all figured out? Same. Here's where to find more of me:

📅 Free 30-min chat: https://calendar.app.google/2ZDmNHVHGSvotRR17
📱 Text me: 720-432-3290
📧 Email: [email protected]
📝 Free PDF + newsletter: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH
🌐 Website: www.twocatscoaching.com
🎧 More episodes: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com
📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697
✍️ Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com
👥 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386
📸 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/
🧠 Weekly trivia game, Quizlandia: https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia
☕ Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/christine2

Laundry and dishes are some of the hardest chores for people with ADHD because they’re repetitive, low-reward, and never truly finished—so there’s little dopamine payoff to keep you motivated. Add in executive dysfunction, difficulty getting started, and that familiar “out of sight, out of mind” thinking, and it’s easy for these tasks to pile up. 

In this episode, Christine shares simple, ADHD-friendly strategies to make these chores more manageable, like reducing multitasking, adding dopamine boosts (music, podcasts, YouTube), using “fresh eyes” to reset your perspective, and setting up your environment to reduce friction. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s finding systems that actually work with your brain so these tasks stop hanging over your head.

This episode may include affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase—at no additional cost to you.

Magnetic lint bin: https://amzn.to/4slXQLh

Dryer sheet holder: https://amzn.to/4cbtdC2

Magnetic strip: https://amzn.to/4cbu06i

Want my free PDF outlining all this? Check it out below!

QUICK LINKS

PDF: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH

Website: www.twocatscoaching.com

Podcast homepage: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com

YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697

Solo, ADHD, and tired of pretending you have it all figured out? Same. Here's where to find more of me:

📅 Free 30-min chat: https://calendar.app.google/2ZDmNHVHGSvotRR17
📱 Text me: 720-432-3290
📧 Email: [email protected]
📝 Free PDF + newsletter: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH
🌐 Website: www.twocatscoaching.com
🎧 More episodes: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com
📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697
✍️ Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com
👥 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386
📸 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/
🧠 Weekly trivia game, Quizlandia: https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia
☕ Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/christine2

Making Life Easier Without Starting Over Again

A Solo Person’s Guide to ADHD

In this episode, we talk about what comes after Structure.

If you’ve been following along, you already know:

• Overwhelm isn’t a motivation problem.
• Staying functional matters more than staying calm.
• Most frustration comes from solving the wrong problem.

Now we address the part that keeps breaking for so many people:

The reset cycle.

The new planner.
The new system.
The new promise.

And then—starting over again.

This episode explains why that cycle is so exhausting, and how to stop living from zero.

The Real Drain: Decision Fatigue

It’s not laziness.
It’s not lack of discipline.

It’s decision load.

When you live alone, you carry:

• Every micro-decision
• Every default
• Every background choice

No shared systems.
No second brain.

Anchor and Pace are the final pieces of the ASSAP framework that reduce that load.

Anchor: Reducing Decision Friction

Anchors are not rules.

They’re defaults.

Instead of:
“I’ll decide in the moment.”

You create:
“When X happens, Y is already decided.”

Examples:

• Keys always go in the same place.
• Same parking row at the grocery store.
• Low energy = no new projects.
• Avoidance = pause, not push.

Anchors don’t remove freedom.
They remove friction.

And friction—not character—is what usually breaks systems.

A Critical Clarifier

Anchors are not hacks.

If you try to apply them to emotionally loaded problems without doing Access, Security, and Structure first, they won’t hold.

This episode explains why.

Organization Isn’t the Goal — Retrieval Is

A system works only if you can retrieve what you need under stress.

Structure builds the container.
Anchors make it usable.

Pace: Continuity, Not Speed

Pace is not about doing things faster.

It’s about preventing resets.

Monitoring is not anxiety.
Monitoring is care.

If you catch problems earlier than you used to, the system is working.

Progress looks like:

• Fewer emergencies
• Smaller corrections
• Less starting over

The ASSAP Loop

ASSAP isn’t linear. It’s a loop:

• Access – What feels off?
• Security – How do I keep my thinking online?
• Structure – What problem are we actually solving? Where does it live?
• Anchor – How do I reduce decision fatigue?
• Pace – Is this working? Do we need to loop?

Smaller problems first.
Lower stakes.
Real feedback.

That’s how change accumulates instead of resets.

If This Feels Like Relief

If these episodes have helped you understand why nothing else stuck, this work may be for you.

I specialize in working with adults with ADHD—especially those who are single and carrying life without a built-in second brain.

This podcast shares the framework.
Coaching applies it to your real life.

🎁 Free Resource

Download the free audio + visual map designed to help you stay steady when your thinking starts to spiral:

👉 https://twocatscoaching.com

💬 Coaching

Learn more about working together:

👉 https://twocatscoaching.com/coaching

📬 Contact

Website: https://twocatscoaching.com
Email: [email protected]

Life doesn’t get easier because you try harder.
It gets easier because fewer things need rescuing.

Solo, ADHD, and tired of pretending you have it all figured out? Same. Here's where to find more of me:

📅 Free 30-min chat: https://calendar.app.google/2ZDmNHVHGSvotRR17
📱 Text me: 720-432-3290
📧 Email: [email protected]
📝 Free PDF + newsletter: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH
🌐 Website: www.twocatscoaching.com
🎧 More episodes: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com
📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697
✍️ Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com
👥 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386
📸 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/
🧠 Weekly trivia game, Quizlandia: https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia
☕ Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/christine2

Have you ever forgotten to pay a bill… paid the late fee… and then built an entire new budget system that still didn’t fix the problem?

That’s not a motivation issue.
It’s not a discipline issue.
It’s a structure issue.

In this episode, Christine Dunning introduces Structure — the second S in the ASSAP framework (Access, Security, Structure, Anchor, Pace). This is the step where you stop reacting and start asking a more useful question:

What problem are we actually solving?

When you live with ADHD — especially as a single adult without a “second brain” in the house — it’s easy to jump into action too fast. You organize. You reset. You declutter. You download apps. You build systems.

And then it falls apart.

Not because you failed —
But because you solved the symptom instead of the source.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why overwhelm distorts your perception of what the problem is
• How invisible cognitive load creates recurring breakdowns
• Why small problems are better training grounds than big life resets
• The two core Structure questions that reduce mental load
• How clarity (not intensity) is what makes systems work
• A deeply personal story about misidentifying emotional needs — and what changed everything

Structure is not about doing more.
It’s the final step before action — and it’s what makes action sustainable.

If you’ve ever worked incredibly hard on the wrong solution, this episode will land.

Free Resource

If your thinking starts to wobble while you’re trying to sort things out, Christine has created a short, free audio + simple map to help you keep your thinking online during overwhelm.

Find it at:  https://TwoCatsCoaching.com

About Christine
Christine Dunning is a Master Certified Life Coach and founder of Two Cats Coaching. She works with adults with ADHD — especially those living solo — who want to stay functional without constantly starting over.

Coming Next:

Episode 31: Anchor & Pace — Turning clarity into something that survives real life.

Solo, ADHD, and tired of pretending you have it all figured out? Same. Here's where to find more of me:

📅 Free 30-min chat: https://calendar.app.google/2ZDmNHVHGSvotRR17
📱 Text me: 720-432-3290
📧 Email: [email protected]
📝 Free PDF + newsletter: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/XLi30FH
🌐 Website: www.twocatscoaching.com
🎧 More episodes: https://asolopersonsguidetoadhd.buzzsprout.com
📺 YouTube: www.youtube.com/@twocatscoaching2697
✍️ Substack: https://twocatscoaching.substack.com
👥 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1332027535133386
📸 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/twocatscoachingdenver/
🧠 Weekly trivia game, Quizlandia: https://tinyurl.com/Quizlandia
☕ Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/christine2