We get way into the weeds around the Astros cheating scandal and cite a few studies trying to get at what players were doing what and when and can we ever know. Dusty Baker riding into town to clean up the Clubhouse Culture gives us hope. Pottymouth channels her inner Whitney to introduce her new Cleveland boyfriend, that “big happy chunk of ball destruction” Franmil Reyes. Patti starts her Oscar Mercado profile with a Christmas morning in Cartagena story, and ends it with a Superman catch. There’s talk of knobless bats, too many gloves, and excellent use of protective netting around Pottymouth’s new Mets boyfriend, Jeff “Flying Squirrel” McNeil. Patti struggles to find things to say about Pete Alonzo that she hasn’t said before, so settles on “Wade Boggs.” Robinson Canó and some of NCiB’s other favorite guys lead a march in the Dominican Republic to end violence against women. Kris Bryant loses his service time grievance, a bad sign for up-and-coming minor leaguers and the future of fair labor practices in baseball. Stop complaining about no baseball, and watch the Caribbean Series, happening this week.

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