We're robbing bodies this week on "Voyager"! First up, Neelix has his lungs stolen by a dying species that it's kind of impossible to have any sympathy for in "Phage". After that, the crew unwittingly invades an alien being in a desperate search for a power boost and has to undo their own damage in "The Cloud".

Also this week: butt breathing, Harry Kim is too weird, and posters!

[timestamps: "Phage": 01:09; "The Cloud": 33:12; poster discussion: 1:00:26]

[this week's tumblr link: https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/668768135663452160/the-many-faces-of-star-trek-movie-posters]

It's two time travel stories this week where a lot of stuff doesn't actually make a lot of sense. But it really doesn't matter in "Parallax", since it's really about Janeway and Torres becoming best friends. And it doesn't matter in "Time and Again" because ultimately the episode never happened!

Also this week: Ocampa issues, inexplicable Arabic numerals, and kerning!

[Timestamps: "Parallax": 01:16; "Time and Again": 32:31; this week's activity: 55:35]

[play along at home! https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/668141324229296128/scrutinizing-the-star-trek-movie-title-cards]

After stomping through several desert planets and other, more interesting space environs for the past few weeks it's so very nice to be home for "Star Trek"! Too bad we're then INSTANTLY lost in the Delta quadrant when the USS Voyager and the Maquis they were chasing are yoinked across the Galaxy by an alien who probably should've come up with a better plan. We think. Aspects of it are kind of vague in the series premier: "Caretaker".

Also this week! Everyone had bad hair, Admiral Paris got around, and we played a game!

[Timestamps: "Caretaker": 00:02:20; A game!: 1:31:13]

[Play along with our tagline game: https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/667511445916909568/match-the-star-trek-tagline-with-the-movie]

We're on our way home from our extended "Star Wars" shore leave but have decided to spice up our lives with a little stopover on Arrakis, a world without which George's fictional universe might've looked VERY different. We're mostly talking the Lynch/Smithee 1980s "Dune" and Villeneuve 2021 "Dunc", with a few forays into Herbert's novel and brief glimpses towards Jodorowsky and the Sci-Fi miniseries. As 1980s "Dune" covers material "Dunc" has not gotten to, be warned there are potential spoilers for Denny V's eventual "part 2". if you're down for that, or already know where it's all going, join us as we discuss a classic tale of court intrigue, desert warfare, and absolutely horrifying butthole worms!

Also this week: being hot for Oscar, the Paul focus, and theater v. TV.

And so "Star Wars" ends for us, at least for now. Maybe we'll be back when more "Mandalorian" rolls around or something, no promises. But we sat back and were all pleasantly surprised by how good "The Force Awakens" actually was, before the discourse nightmare of its sequels came along and retroactively ruined it. Really a fine way to finish off this sub-project.

Also this week: the Force as an excuse for lazy writing, hero of circumstance, and ANOTHER song!

[note: find a photo of the big board of Star Wars rankings at https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/666252313160286208/star-war-films-ranked]

[Timestamps: The Force Awakens: 1:10; The Big Board: 1:43:42; a song parody: 2:18:20]

And so it ends. Well, so we thought. But for a while, anyway, the "Star Wars" films ended here with "Revenge of the Sith", an ungodly mix of overlong action AND overlong scenes of people just TALKING. It's the worst of all worlds as Lucas tries to cram together epic laser fights, what he thinks romance is, and endless, perplexing politics. Good riddance to bad rubbish, the prequels. It's been awful.

Also this week: Palpatine might have a point, Quippy-Wan, and a little ditty to see you out.

The awful sure does get everywhere as we make our way to "Attack of the Clones"! Little Ani's all growed up, but he has game so cold Hoth would call him chilly. Despite that Amidala is ALL ABOUT his deadpan, town-murdering self. It makes about as much sense as anything else in this endless, dreary pile of a picture.

Also this week: a better Force battle, subcontractors all the way down, and Obi-Wan can't make sandwiches.

So this is where it all begins, twenty-two years after it began: "The Phantom Menace". Come see Darth Vader as you've never seen him before - and never wanted to, really: as a precocious scamp who races electric chariots and says "yipee!" Meet a young Obi-Wan Kenobi, who's really kind of a jerk about locals, and his well-established master, Jedi Knight Y...oh...Qui-Gon Jinn? Anyway, sit back and relax and check out what is clearly a children's movie except for all the long-winded political discussions.

Also this week: an impressive bathroom break, overdone Yoda-speak, and poor Sith utilization.

It's where it should have ended as we come to "Return of the Jedi"! Before the prequels and the sequels this was where the universe was left off (if you were one of the normal folks that ignored the reams of books and comics, video games, bad animated TV series, made-for-TV Ewok movies...). The Empire makes a daring stand as the Rebels make their make-or-break attack, even while Luke tries to undo the years of trauma heaped upon Anakin by the Emperor and, let's be honest, the Jedi before him. Unfortunately there's also Ewoks.

Also this week: pointless ground battles, ill-used Han, and you know what let's chat "Star Trek" a bit.

Our vacation continues as we make our way to what is, for many, the absolute pinnacle of the franchise: "The Empire Strikes Back". It starts with what should be the act III setpiece and then ends with one of the most famous reveals in modern movies, and everything in the middle is pretty iconic, too!

Also this week: the look and sound of "Star Wars", poorly aged "romance" and Fish Vader.