It’s kind of ableist and pretty anti-Irish, it’s this week’s episodes of “Star Trek: The Next Generation”! First up: the Pakleds are technology thieves that stymie Riker and kidnap Geordie while Picard is off getting his ticker serviced in “Samaritan Snare”. After that, come play Irish stereotype bingo and revel in a horrible conclusion in “Up the Long Ladder.”

Also this week: shuttle design griping, cloning conundrums, and a postcredit that is basically all toilets and poop, so you can’t say we didn’t warn you.

Timestamps: synopses: 1:44; Samaritan Snare: 7:23; Up the Long Ladder: 33:31

There’s first contacts all around this week, but neither of them happen in a good way! In “Pen Pals” it only happens because Data blatantly violates the Prime Directive, and in “Q Who” the “Enterprise” is brought face-to-face with the deadly Borg thanks to a certain omnipotent being’s machinations!

Also this week: ham radio in space, the mystery of Guinan, and your pets’ favorite podcast!

Timestamps: synopses: 0:16; Pen Pals: 2:56; Q Who: 30:11

It's a doppelganger and a counterpart this week on SSHB! First up, executive meddling makes a time-loop tale incomprehensible in "Time Squared", and the spare Picard it has produced seems as confused as the audience about it. After that, Riker's father shows up to reveal that he gets along better with pretty much all of Starfleet than he does his boy in "The Icarus Factor".

Also this week: Riker doesn't know what an omelette is, failing the Bechdel test hard, and a correction.

Timestamps: synopses: 1:52; Time Squared: 11:45; The Icarus Factor: 29:54

Remember when “Measure of a Man” happened last week and things were looking up? Yeah, forget that. This week we’ve got two clunkers in a row, starting with malware and middling Romulans in “Contagion”. After that we’ve got what feels kind of like “A Piece of the Action” with all the joy sucked out of it in “The Royale.”

Also this week: old-timey Tonic, schoolyard insults, and Jake has an announcement.

Note: spoilers for "AI" in this episode; but it's 17 years old and not very good.

Timestamps: synopses: 0:52; Contagion: 7:19; The Royale: 30:07

The ship’s bartender is proving herself more useful than the ship’s counselor in this week’s episodes. First up, she helps Picard weave through thorny legal matters when Data’s sentience is called into question in “The Measure of a Man”. Then she’s the only one giving Wes good relationship advice in “The Dauphin”.

Also this week: a lot of TOS references, scary Roddenberry, and everyone almost gets some.

Timestamps: synopses: 1:18; The Measure of a Man: 5:28; The Dauphin: 37:20

Your hosts were almost all under the weather this week; we’ve cut out as much of the wheezing, coughing, and assorted death as possible, but some artifacts unfortunately remain.

But what’s up with the episodes we struggled to bring you? First up: genetic experimentation has caused a rapid-aging disease in “Unnatural Selection”. After that, it’s bring your human to work day in “A Matter of Honor”.

Also this week: Guy Fieri goes to flavortown, the nightmarish transporter, and the nature of alliance.

Timestamps: synopses: 1:19; Unnatural Selection: 11:44; A Matter of Honor: 33:30

The facial hair is everywhere this week, and we're not just talking Riker. First up, a peacemaker with a Kenny Loggins vibe has to end an ages-old civil war in "Loud as a Whisper", and then Data meets his "grandpa", who has the beard and overconfidence of an old-timey King, in "The Schizoid Man".

Also this week: pistol shrimp, Vulcan acting, and continuity of consciousness.

Note: some "The Prestige" spoilers within

Timestamps: synopses: 1:11; Loud as a Whisper: 5:40; The Schizoid Man: 32:38

Data's trying out some things this week on SSHB. First up, he tries his hand at being Sherlock Holmes in "Elementary, Dear Data" before getting both his hands involved in comedy in "The Outrageous Okona". This is technically the B-plot, tho, to a story about the least charismatic Han Solo cosplayer in the galaxy.

Also this week: sentience is a snap, Okona and "Okona" try too hard, and Ames's greatest fear.

Timestamps: synopses: 3:08; Elementary, Dear Data: 8:42; The Outrageous Okona: 28:55

This week is all about alien life-forms trying to understand humanity, and neither of them go about it in a way that isn’t terrible! First up, Troi gets impregnated by a mysterious light-being in “The Child”, an episode so bad we mostly talk about how we learned where babies come from. After that, an extraterrestrial face uses the “Enterprise” crew as lab rats in “Where Silence Has Lease”.

Also this week: Season 2 changes, the history of Scrooge McDuck, and possibly our longest outro yet.

Content warning: nonconsensual impregnation and all that entails.

CORRECTION: DONALD DUCK'S SISTER IS NAMED DELLA, NOT DAHLIA

Timestamps: synopses: 1:00; The Child: 2:30; Where Silence Has Lease: 38:50

It’s the end of the infamous first season of TNG, and it sure goes out on a poor note! First up, the B plot of “Coming of Age” comes to its buggy conclusion in “Conspiracy”. Then the Romulans are back but we’re mostly talking to some 20th century dingbats in “The Neutral Zone”!

Also this week: traumatizing children, that’s not how adrenaline works, and top/bottom lists!

Timestamps: synopses: 2:08; Conspiracy: 8:52; The Neutral Zone: 28:02; Season 1 wrap up: 44:52