A State of Mind

Why does trying to fix your partner's problems often backfire? How can men move from defensiveness into grounded presence, emotional safety, and true intimacy?

In this solo episode of A State of Mind, host Julian Royce breaks down essential relationship and communication skills geared specifically toward men (and valuable for all couples). Drawing from his clinical psychotherapy practice and personal relationship lessons, Julian explores why default habits of advice-giving, emotional withdrawal, and defensiveness inadvertently erode connection.

Julian shares somatic tools to regulate your nervous system during heated moments, how to shift from blaming "you" statements to vulnerable "I" statements, taking healthy breaks without triggering abandonment, and the 5 Steps of Conscious Communication.

Main Topics Covered

• The Problem-Solver's Trap: Why unsolicited advice feels dismissive rather than supportive.
• Somatics of Presence: Dropping out of analytical headspace into the lower belly and spine.
• Reflective Listening: Acknowledging your partner's emotions before explaining your intent.
• "I" Statements: Communicating needs, hurt, and boundaries clearly without inciting defensiveness.
• Posturing vs. Collapsing: Taking accountability without ego defense or sinking into shame.
• Taking a Healthy Break: Stepping away from escalating fights without stonewalling.
• Vulnerability Under Anger: Uncovering the grief, fear, or exhaustion underneath irritability.
• 5 Steps of Conscious Communication: Pause, listen, validate, express, and connect.

Key Takeaways

• People Aren't Problems: Empathy and witnessing must precede advice; validation is not agreement.
• Curiosity Over Defense: Asking questions shifts an argument into collaborative understanding.
• Connection Over Being Right: Winning a debate at the cost of intimacy is a loss for the relationship.

Connect with Julian Royce

• Website: AStateOfMindTherapy.com
• Podcast: astateofmindpodcast.com
• YouTube: @AStateofMindPodcast
• Spotify: A State of Mind Podcast
• Instagram: @julianoceann
• Patreon: patreon.com/astateofmind

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors

• KA! Empathogenics: kaempathogenics.com/JULIANROYCE
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• EMR Tek: emr-tek.com/JULIAN90864
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Please leave a review or 5-star rating on Spotify to support the show!

What leads someone to spend their youth studying ancient religions, sitting in silent meditation for 100 days, and dedicating their life to psychotherapy?

In this special role-reversal episode, host of What If It's Possible, Jimmy Huynh, turns the microphone on Julian Royce to unpack Julian's personal journey. Originally recorded for Jimmy's show, this conversation explores how Julian shifted from academic religious scholarship into clinical psychotherapy, what really happens during a 100-day silent retreat, and how to make life itself an ongoing practice.

Together, they dive into the Buddhist insight of no-self, the reality of acclimating back to society after months in silence, the power of one-on-one presence in psychedelic integration, and why the state of our internal consciousness shapes our entire external world.

Main Topics Covered

• The Path to Psychotherapy: Leaving academia to bridge Buddhist contemplative wisdom with somatic therapy.
• The 100-Day Meditation Retreat: Radical simplicity, mental discipline, and the jarring transition back to daily life.
• The Myth of the Guru: Why years of meditation do not exempt anyone from relational challenges and emotional friction.
• Burning Man as a Permission Field: How novel social environments break routine and unlock personal expression.
• One-on-One Healing: The therapeutic impact of receiving focused, undistracted human attention in healing spaces.
• Life as a Practice: Moving beyond the cushion to embody presence, compassion, and mindfulness in everyday actions.

Key Takeaways

• Spiritual Growth Requires Humility: Peak meditative states fade; true maturity shows up in how you repair and relate to others.
• Identity is Flexible: Recognizing the self as a construct allows you to consciously write your own life narrative.
• Consciousness Comes First: Tending to your internal state is the foundation from which all external relationships ripple out.

Connect with Jimmy Huynh (What If It's Possible)

• Website: fulfilledjourney.com
• Instagram: @jimmy.serendipity

Connect with Julian Royce

• YouTube: @AStateofMindPodcast
• Spotify: A State of Mind Podcast
• Website: AStateOfMindTherapy.com
• Instagram: @julianoceann

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors

• MyFeelium: Get 20% Off MyFeelium (Code: julian20 | Pass: opensesame)
• KA! Empathogenics: kaempathogenics.com/JULIANROYCE
• EMR Tek: emr-tek.com/JULIAN90864
• Shilajit: astateofmindpodcast.com (Message Julian for 20% off)

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What is psychological trauma, how does it get locked in the nervous system, and how does EMDR therapy help release it?

In this solo episode of A State of Mind, host Julian Royce takes a deep dive into the clinical and somatic reality of trauma recovery. Drawing on his work as a licensed psychotherapist specializing in EMDR, Julian explores how past distress creates maladaptive fear loops in the present, how adverse childhood experiences shape health, and why healing turns suffering into genuine resilience.

Julian walks through all eight phases of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), unpacks how bilateral stimulation mirrors REM sleep to consolidate stuck memories, and addresses the critical shadow sides of the modality: including dissociation, moving too fast, and why incorporating Internal Family Systems (IFS) ensures you never bypass protective parts.

Main Topics Covered

• The Nature of Trauma: Understanding trauma as an overwhelmed capacity to cope, embedding fear into bodily responses.
• Adaptive Information Processing: Why traumatic memories remain insufficiently integrated with current adult reality.
• Mechanisms of Bilateral Stimulation: How alternating eye movements, hand buzzers, and tapping activate brain integration.
• The 8 Phases of EMDR: From treatment planning, safe place visualization, and SUD ratings to installation and closure.
• Risks and Shadow Sides: Recognizing subtle dissociation, avoiding rushed processing, and honoring IFS protector parts.
• Healing in Relationship: Moving beyond isolated individualism to heal attachment wounds in safe connection.

Key Takeaways

• Trauma is Maladaptive Protection: Past survival strategies show up in the present as irrational fear or emotional shut-down.
• Memory Remains, Charge Clears: EMDR does not erase history; it neutralizes the emotional distress tied to the memory.
• Honor Your Protectors: Effective trauma processing requires permission from internal defenses rather than overriding them.

Connect with Julian Royce

• Website: AStateOfMindTherapy.com
• Podcast: astateofmindpodcast.com
• YouTube: @AStateofMindPodcast
• Spotify: A State of Mind Podcast
• Instagram: @julianoceann
• Patreon: patreon.com/astateofmind

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors

• KA! Empathogenics: kaempathogenics.com/JULIANROYCE
• MyFeelium: Get 20% Off MyFeelium (Code: julian20 | Pass: opensesame)
• EMR Tek: emr-tek.com/JULIAN90864
• Shilajit: astateofmindpodcast.com (Message Julian for 20% off)

Please leave a review or 5-star rating on Spotify to support the show!

Can artificial intelligence bring us closer together, or will it accelerate our cultural isolation? How do we navigate technological disruption without falling into doom or blind hype?

In this episode of A State of Mind, Julian Royce sits down with technology creator, community organizer, and AI educator Aaron Gabriel (AG). Teaching emerging AI technologies at the University of Colorado Boulder and building decentralized tools for human connection, Aaron brings a grounded perspective to how algorithms shape human culture.

Together, they explore the commodification of community on social media, the dopamine loop of algorithmic scrolling, how open-weight and local AI models provide an alternative to corporate monopolies, the ethics of simulated machine pain, and why local civic participation restores cultural coherence.

Main Topics Covered

• The Commodification of Belonging: How ad-driven platforms simulate connection while eroding authentic community.
• The Mechanics of the Scroll: Understanding the dopamine loop that drains well-being and drives digital addiction.
• Open Weights vs. Closed Frontiers: How local AI models run on personal hardware challenge centralized corporate control.
• AI Consciousness & Simulated Pain: Research into neural network behavior, alignment dilemmas, and emerging machine ethics.
• Navigating Exponential Change: Grounding ourselves amidst rapid shifts without falling into doomerism or utopianism.
• Healing Polarization: Moving past ideological extremes and rediscovering the middle way through local civic action.

Key Takeaways

• Base Well-Being Protects Attention: Algorithms exploit vulnerability; internal presence is your primary defense against digital entrapment.
• Sovereignty in the AI Age: Open-weight models empower individuals to own their intelligence tools rather than leasing cognitive agency to tech giants.
• Coherence Starts Locally: National discourse is polarized, but real transformation begins by practicing nuance and relationship in local communities.

Connect with the Guest

• Website: unforced.dev
• Open Source Project: Open Parachute

Connect with Julian Royce

• YouTube: @AStateofMindPodcast
• Spotify: A State of Mind Podcast
• Website: AStateOfMindTherapy.com
• Instagram: @julianoceann

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors

• MyFeelium: Get 20% Off MyFeelium (Code: julian20 | Pass: opensesame)
• KA! Empathogenics: kaempathogenics.com/JULIANROYCE
• EMR Tek: emr-tek.com/JULIAN90864
• Shilajit: astateofmindpodcast.com (Message Julian for 20% off)

Please leave a review or 5-star rating on Spotify to support the show!

What does it mean to take yoga off the mat and embody it through leadership, relationships, and brotherhood? How do we move from expansive spiritual experiences into grounded, sober integration?

In this episode of A State of Mind, Julian Royce sits down with entrepreneur, yogi, and men's work leader Alec Vishal Rouben. Having spent over a decade deeply immersed in yoga teacher trainings, academic studies in London, and psychonautic exploration, Alec now channels his energy into leading Brotherhood of the Roots, a Colorado-based men's organization dedicated to sacred masculinity, accountability, and purpose.

Together, they explore the transition from formal yoga to living integration, moving from psychedelic medicine states into sober men's circles, navigating hard confrontations, establishing explicit relationship agreements around intimacy and boundaries, and standing up for the protection of women and children in modern culture.

Main Topics Covered

• Living Yoga Off the Mat: Transitioning from formal teaching to embodying unification in business and daily life.
• Authentic Relating to Men's Work: Overcoming early discomfort with eye-gazing to lead deep, sober men's circles.
• Psychedelics to Sober Integration: Moving from Bufo and psilocybin insights to grounded transformation in brotherhood.
• Confrontation and Accountability: Facing hard truths, addressing boundary violations, and standing up against predatory behavior.
• Conscious Relationship Agreements: Creating clear boundaries around pornography, sexual intimacy, and honoring individual sleep needs.
• Navigating the Dark Triad: Balancing the belief in basic goodness with firm boundaries against manipulation.

Key Takeaways

• Sober Integration is Essential: Deep medicine experiences require grounded, real-world containers like men's work to fully land and transform daily life.
• Clear Boundaries Create Safety: True intimacy in relationships requires explicit agreements, open confrontation, and deep mutual respect.
• Confronting Shadow with Integrity: Standing for protection and truth requires active intervention rather than passive avoidance.

Connect with the Guest

• Website: brotherhoodoftheroots.com
• Instagram: @aleclovelife https://www.instagram.com/aleclovelife/

Connect with Julian Royce

• YouTube: @AStateofMindPodcast
• Spotify: A State of Mind Podcast
• Website: AStateOfMindTherapy.com
• Instagram: @julianoceann

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors

• MyFeelium: Get 20% Off MyFeelium (Code: julian20 | Pass: opensesame)
• KA! Empathogenics: kaempathogenics.com/JULIANROYCE
• EMR Tek: emr-tek.com/JULIAN90864
• Shilajit: astateofmindpodcast.com (Message Julian for 20% off)

Please leave a review or 5-star rating on Spotify to support the show!

What happens when your external life looks perfect, but your body and soul are screaming for a change? How do you rebuild when everything collapses?

In this episode of A State of Mind, Julian Royce sits down with life coach, retreat leader, and entrepreneur Jimmy Huynh. After leaving a lucrative corporate career in Hawaii and facing a sudden life overhaul, Jimmy turned a complete reset into an empowering journey across 10 countries, founding multiple businesses and launching his podcast What If It's Possible.

Together, they explore the psychology of identity shifts, breaking free from "golden cages," how downstream behaviors change when you shift core self-beliefs, navigating relationship breakups with conscious maturity, and processing somatic emotions without feeding victim narratives.

Main Topics Covered

• The Hero’s Arc & Compassion: Recognizing how everyone views themselves as the hero in their story and cultivating empathy for opposing viewpoints.
• Escaping the Golden Cage: Leaving corporate security in Hawaii to heal unexplained stress-induced physical symptoms.
• The Power of Identity Shifts: Why real behavioral change comes from altering core identity rather than just trying harder.
• Turning Crisis into Permission: How flipping "I have nothing" into "I have total freedom" opened the door to worldwide travel and purpose.
• Somatic Listening vs. Mind Narratives: Releasing stored physical emotion by staying present in the body without adding mind-spun stories.

Key Takeaways

• Identity Drives Action: Behavior is downstream from self-definition; changing who you think you are changes what you do.
• Endings as New Beginnings: Relationship breakups can be conscious, loving transitions rather than destructive collapses.
• Somatic Processing: True emotional release requires feeling bodily sensations directly without feeding victim narratives.

Connect with the Guest

• Website: fulfilledjourney.com
• Instagram: @jimmy.serendipity

Connect with Julian Royce

• YouTube: @AStateofMindPodcast
• Spotify: A State of Mind Podcast
• Website: AStateOfMindTherapy.com
• Instagram: @julianoceann

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors

• MyFeelium: Get 20% Off MyFeelium (Code: julian20 | Pass: opensesame)
• KA! Empathogenics: kaempathogenics.com/JULIANROYCE
• EMR Tek: emr-tek.com/JULIAN90864
• Shilajit: astateofmindpodcast.com (Message Julian for 20% off)

Please leave a review or 5-star rating on Spotify to support the show!

What happens when we stop treating our thoughts and ego as solid reality? Could true mental freedom lie in embracing emptiness?

In this episode of A State of Mind, Julian Royce sits down with licensed therapist, Naropa University graduate, and contemplative practitioner Benjamen Duffy. Following a multi-year spiritual journey across Zen centers and India, Benjamen transitioned into psychotherapy to align with the Bodhisattva ideal of service.

Together, they explore the intersection of Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhism with Western therapy, deconstructing the nature of ego, the delusion of lack, how de-reifying our experiences prevents mental health crises, and using Internal Family Systems (IFS) to relate to fear with radical compassion.

Main Topics Covered

• From Seeking to Service: Benjamen’s path from Zen centers and environmental science to Buddhist psychology.
• The Illusion of Lack: How ego identification creates an artificial sense of separation, greed, and suffering.
• Maturing Beyond Emptiness: Moving past "getting drunk on emptiness" to actively inhabiting roles and relationships.
• De-Reifying Mental States: How solidifying thoughts creates psychosis, and how loving-kindness acts as a buffer.
• Fluidity of Mind: Using applied emptiness and parts work (IFS) to step out of rigid, suffering-inducing dogmas.

Key Takeaways

• Ego is a Contraction: Seeing beyond the separate self releases the compulsion to constantly seek external security.
• Emptiness is a Skeleton Key: Liberation allows you to fluidly adopt useful roles without becoming trapped in them.
• Compassion Softens Reality: Meeting difficult thoughts and altered states with kindness prevents suffering loops.

Connect with the Guest

• Website: benjamenduffy.com
• Instagram: @duffdaddy100

Connect with Julian Royce

• YouTube: @AStateofMindPodcast
• Spotify: A State of Mind Podcast
• Website: AStateOfMindTherapy.com
• Instagram: @julianoceann

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors

• MyFeelium: Get 20% Off MyFeelium (Code: julian20 | Pass: opensesame)
• KA! Empathogenics: kaempathogenics.com/JULIANROYCE
• EMR Tek: emr-tek.com/JULIAN90864
• Shilajit: astateofmindpodcast.com (Message Julian for 20% off)

Please leave a review or 5-star rating on Spotify to support the show!

Why is treating trauma much more complex than just dealing with our own reactions?

In this episode of A State of Mind, Julian Royce sits down with Dr. Eric Wolterstorff, a veteran body-based psychotherapist, sociologist, and core trainer with the Trauma Healing Protocol (TIP).

Together, they explore how traumatic memory lives in the autonomic nervous system, how to break down overwhelm using Peter Levine's SIBAM model, expanding your relational "permission space," and why true integration requires addressing the entire "scene of the crime"—including the victim, savior, bystander, and perpetrator roles within us.

About Dr. Eric Wolterstorff

Dr. Eric Wolterstorff began studying with Peter Levine in 1993, extending his work into memory systems, transference, and group dynamics. He trained in Hakomi bodywork with Pat Ogden and Worldwork with Max Schupbach and Arnie Mindell, earning a doctorate in group traumatology. He created the TIP trainings and leads Sovereignty First.

Eric leads a yearly six-month TIP Transference Training, beginning each October. This year’s training begins October 21, 2026, with a five-day intensive in Greenwood Village, Colorado, followed by five months of live online learning. Registration closes September 30.

Learn more: TIP Transference Training

Main Topics Covered

• The Evolution of Somatic Therapy: Early work with Peter Levine, Hakomi bodywork, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.
• The SIBAM Model: Deconstructing trauma into basic sensory "letters" to gently process charge through the nervous system.
• Redefining Trauma as Disruption: Understanding disruptions in safety, attachment, family systems, and community culture.
• The "Scene of the Crime": Why healing requires integrating every role in our memory, including the bystander and perpetrator.

Connect with the Guest

• Website: Sovereignty First
• LinkedIn: Dr. Eric Wolterstorff
• Trauma Protocol: TIP Website

Connect with Julian Royce

• YouTube: @AStateofMindPodcast
• Spotify: A State of Mind Podcast
• Website: AStateOfMindTherapy.com
• Instagram: @julianoceann

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors

• MyFeelium: Get 20% Off MyFeelium (Code: julian20 | Pass: opensesame)
• KA! Empathogenics: kaempathogenics.com/JULIANROYCE
• EMR Tek: emr-tek.com/JULIAN90864
• Shilajit: astateofmindpodcast.com (Message Julian for 20% off)

Please leave a review or 5-star rating on Spotify to support the show!

Is music more than just entertainment? Can sound re-architect our nervous systems and create deep human connection?

In this episode of A State of Mind, Julian Royce sits down with Murray Hidary, classical composer and creator of the global music project Mind Travel. An early internet pioneer who co-founded EarthWeb and Dice.com in the 1990s, Murray now brings live music and nature together for over 200 silent headphone concert experiences annually.

Together, they explore the parallels between coding and classical counterpoint, the neurobiology of sound perception, curating an intentional "auditory diet," and why music acts as a multidimensional language for emotional integration.

Main Topics Covered

• The Early Internet & Tech Boom: Building EarthWeb, putting major institutions online, and founding Dice.com.
• Left-Brain Meets Right-Brain: How Bach's mathematical counterpoint bridges logic and artistic expression.
• The Physics of Sound: How acoustic vibrations transform into internal emotional experiences within the brain.
• Curating Your Auditory Diet: Managing noise pollution, silence, and intentional listening for nervous system health.
• The Multidimensional Language of Music: Why music expresses complex, non-linear emotional states better than spoken words.

Key Takeaways

• Music Happens Inside: External sound is just molecular motion; music is an internal creation of human perception.
• Acoustic Nutrition: What you listen to throughout the day directly impacts your cortisol levels, stress, and mood.
• Therapeutic Potential: Sound and music therapy offer scientifically validated pathways for reducing anxiety and supporting recovery.

Connect with the Guest

• Website: Murray Hidary Official
• MindTravel: MindTravel – Connect, Reflect, and Heal Through Music
• Instagram: @murrayhidary
• YouTube: @murrayhidary

Connect with Julian Royce

• YouTube: @AStateofMindPodcast
• Spotify: A State of Mind Podcast
• Website: AStateOfMindTherapy.com
• Instagram: @julianoceann

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors

• MyFeelium: Get 20% Off MyFeelium (Code: julian20 | Pass: opensesame)
• KA! Empathogenics: kaempathogenics.com/JULIANROYCE
• EMR Tek: emr-tek.com/JULIAN90864
• Shilajit: astateofmindpodcast.com (Message Julian for 20% off)

Please leave a review or 5-star rating on Spotify to support the show!

Is it possible that your thoughts, shadow patterns, and digestive health are deeply interconnected?

In this episode of A State of Mind, Julian Royce connects with organizational development consultant and meditation practitioner Jonathan Mozenter. After discovering integral philosopher Ken Wilber and studying under Dr. Daniel P. Brown, Jonathan transformed his approach to mind mastery, shadow work, and human flourishing.

Together, they explore Western psychology and Eastern traditions, breaking down metacognition, how parts work (IFS) helps resolve chronic health issues like Crohn's and IBS, and why "waking up, cleaning up, and growing up" are essential for human development.

Main Topics Covered

• Integral Theory & Dzogchen: How Ken Wilber and Dr. Daniel P. Brown introduced Jonathan to Mahamudra and Vajrayana Buddhism.
• Subjective Science of Consciousness: Using meditative traditions as a precise method for investigating internal reality.
• Metacognition and Parts Work: Stepping out of reactive mental loops with real time self-awareness and Internal Family Systems (IFS).
• Mind-Body Connection: How digesting emotional childhood trauma helped resolve physical gut issues like Crohn's and IBS.
• Reframing ADD/ADHD: Understanding attention challenges as mental strategies to avoid intense emotions.
• Three Maps of Awakening: Navigating meditation stages, from natural state awareness to daily integration.

Key Takeaways

• Emptiness Means Radical Openness: Realizing your perspective is shaped by conditioning opens your heart to other possibilities.
• You Are Not Your Thoughts: Developing the inner witness allows you to see thoughts as temporary phenomena.
• Gratitude is an Energy State: Starting your day from appreciation changes how you relate to every experience.

Connect with the Guest

• Website: mozenter.com
• Instagram: @jonathanmozenter

Connect with Julian Royce

• YouTube: @AStateofMindPodcast
• Spotify: A State of Mind Podcast
• Website: AStateOfMindTherapy.com
• Patreon: patreon.com/astateofmind
• Instagram: @julianoceann
• Music: SoundCloud

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors

• MyFeelium: Get 20% Off MyFeelium (Code: julian20 | Pass: opensesame)
• KA! Empathogenics: kaempathogenics.com/JULIANROYCE
• EMR Tek: emr-tek.com/JULIAN90864
• Shilajit: astateofmindpodcast.com (Message Julian for 20% off)

Please leave a review or 5-star rating on Spotify to support the show!