Access Church

“Am I doing it right?”

Just because I have a parent doesn’t mean I know anything about being one.

Just because I was a kid doesn’t mean I know anything about raising one.

1. Define your win.

Psalm 127:3-5  //  Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

“Direction determines destination.” - Andy Stanley

Our goal - Kids who enjoy being with us and each other when they no longer have to be.

The Four Stages of Parenting

The Discipline Years (0–5 years old)

The Training Years (5–12 years old)

The Coaching Years (12–18 years old)

The Friendship Years (18+ years old)

2. What to do with Overwhelmed

Psalms 61:2 (NKJV)  //  “From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

Ephesians 6:4  //  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

3. The best gift we give our kids is a healthy us

Real & Ideal

4. Lead children to their own relationship with God

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What the longest study on human happiness found is the key to a good life: Relationships

Me

For us to have the kind of intimacy that God desires, we have to move from Me to We.

Mark 10:2-9  //  Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied. 4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” 5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Unrealistic Expectations

Expectation leads to pressure and pressure crushes intimacy

Underestimated Differences

“Marriage has a way of introducing you to yourself.” - Tim Keller

Unmet Needs

Unresolved Anger

Unsafe Environment

Unleft Parents

Unrelenting Criticism

Proverbs 17:9 TLB  //  Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends.

Proverbs 27:15-16 MSG  //  A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet; You can’t turn it off, and you can’t get away from it.

Unrepentant Sin

What are the bricks in YOUR wall?

1 Corinthians 13:11  //  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8  //  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

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People are the Worst

People are the Best

Luke 10:2  //  “After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go.”

God’s dream for you is that you thrive in relationships.

Help You Up

Ecclesiastes 4:10  //  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

You need people in your life that help you up

John 15:13  //  There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Build You Up

1 Thessalonians 5:11  //  Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

You need people in your life that will build you up

Grow You Up

Proverbs 27:17  //  Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another

You need people in your like that will challenge you

.

Proverbs 27:6 (NLT)  //  Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

Know and No

Join/Lead an Access Group

Proverbs 18:24  //  “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

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2 Kings 4:8-17 (NKJV)   //  Now it happened one day that Elisha went to Shunem, where there was a notable woman, and she persuaded him to eat some food. So it was, as often as he passed by, he would turn in there to eat some food. 9 And she said to her husband, “Look now, I know that this is a holy man of God, who passes by us regularly. 10 Please, let us make a small upper room on the wall; and let us put a bed for him there, and a table and a chair and a lampstand; so it will be, whenever he comes to us, he can turn in there.” 11 And it happened one day that he came there, and he turned in to the upper room and lay down there. 12 Then he said to Gehazi his servant, “Call this Shunammite woman.” When he had called her, she stood before him. 13 And he said to him, “Say now to her, ‘Look, you have been concerned for us with all this care. What can I do for you? Do you want me to speak on your behalf to the king or to the commander of the army?’ ” She answered, “I dwell among my own people.” 14 So he said, “What then is to be done for her?” And Gehazi answered, “Actually, she has no son, and her husband is old.” 15 So he said, “Call her.” When he had called her, she stood in the doorway. 16 Then he said, “About this time next year you shall embrace a son.” And she said, “No, my lord. Man of God, do not lie to your maidservant!” 17 But the woman conceived, and bore a son when the appointed time had come, of which Elisha had told her.

1. Prepare With No Agenda

2 Kings 4:13 (CEB)   //  …‘Look, you’ve gone to all this trouble for us. What can I do for you? Is there anything I can say on your behalf to the king or to the commander of the army?’” She said, “I’m content to live at home with my own people.”

2. Prepare For The Supernatural

2 Kings 4:16 (NKJV)  // Then he said, “About this time next year you shall embrace a son.” And she said, “No, my lord. Man of God, do not lie to your maidservant!”

Psalm 37:4 (NIV)  //  Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

3. It Is Well When You’ve Prepared

2 Kings 4:21-23 (NKJV)  //  And she went up and laid him on the bed of the man of God, shut the door upon him, and went out. 22 Then she called to her husband, and said, “Please send me one of the young men and one of the donkeys, that I may run to the man of God and come back.” 23 So he said, “Why are you going to him today? It is neither the New Moon nor the Sabbath.” And she said, “It is well.”

Psalm 27:1-6 (NKJV) //  The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When the wicked came against me To eat up my flesh, My enemies and foes, They stumbled and fell. 3 Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear; Though war may rise against me, In this I will be confident. 4 One thing I have desired of the LORD, That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD All the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD, And to inquire in His temple. 5 For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock. 6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me; Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.

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August 28, 1963

I have a dream.

“Tell them about the dream, Martin.” - Mahalia Jackson

“All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream.” - Edgar Allan Poe

Legacy is not what you accomplish. Legacy is what is accomplished because of you.

Dream Encouragers

Indifferent

Dream Killers

Nehemiah 4:1-3  //  When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed. He ridiculed the Jews, 2 and in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, “What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day? Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble—burned as they are?” 3 Tobiah the Ammonite, who was at his side, said, “What they are building—even a fox climbing up on it would break down their wall of stones!”

Opposition attacks your identity

“What are those feeble Jews doing?

Opposition attacks your motives

Will they rebuild the wall for themselves?

Opposition will challenge your relationship with God?

Will they offer sacrifices there?

Opposition will attack the confidence you need to chase the dream

We should pour gasoline on people’s dreams and water on their fears!

What do I do with opposition?

1. Turn to God for help

Nehemiah 4:4-5  //  4 Hear us, our God, for we are despised. Turn their insults back on their own heads. Give them over as plunder in a land of captivity. 5 Do not cover up their guilt or blot out their sins from your sight, for they have thrown insults in the face of the builders.

2. Prepare your heart

Nehemiah 4:13  //  Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows.

3. Remember God’s faithfulness

Nehemiah 4:14  //  After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.”

4. Refuse to quit

Nehemiah 4:15-18  //  When our enemies heard that we were aware of their plot and that God had frustrated it, we all returned to the wall, each to our own work. 16 From that day on, half of my men did the work, while the other half were equipped with spears, shields, bows and armor. The officers posted themselves behind all the people of Judah 17 who were building the wall. Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, 18 and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked.

Long obedience in the same direction.

Nehemiah 6:1-3  //  When word came to Sanballat, Tobiah, Geshem the Arab and the rest of our enemies that I had rebuilt the wall and not a gap was left in it—though up to that time I had not set the doors in the gates— 2 Sanballat and Geshem sent me this message: “Come, let us meet together in one of the villages on the plain of Ono.” But they were scheming to harm me; 3 so I sent messengers to them with this reply: “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?”

Time to DREAM bigger, PRAY harder, THINK longer

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Acts 12:5-17 (NIV)  //  So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him. The night before Herod was to bring him to trial, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries stood guard at the entrance. Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. “Quick, get up!” he said, and the chains fell off Peter’s wrists. Then the angel said to him, “Put on your clothes and sandals.” And Peter did so. “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me,” the angel told him. Peter followed him out of the prison, but he had no idea that what the angel was doing was really happening; he thought he was seeing a vision.  They passed the first and second guards and came to the iron gate leading to the city. It opened for them by itself, and they went through it. When they had walked the length of one street, suddenly the angel left him. Then Peter came to himself and said, “Now I know without a doubt that the Lord sent his angel and rescued me from Herod’s clutches and from everything the Jewish people were anticipating.” When this had dawned on him, he went to the house of Mary the mother of John, also called Mark, where many people had gathered and were praying. Peter knocked at the outer entrance, and a servant girl named Rhoda came to answer the door. When she recognized Peter’s voice, she was so overjoyed she ran back without opening it and exclaimed, “Peter is at the door!” “You’re out of your mind,” they told her. When she kept insisting that it was so, they said, “It must be his angel.” But Peter kept on knocking, and when they opened the door and saw him, they were astonished. Peter motioned with his hand for them to be quiet and described how the Lord had brought him out of prison. “Tell James and the brothers about this,” he said, and then he left for another place.

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2023 can be your best year if it’s your best year spiritually.

The future belongs to those who dream

Stealing your dream

Fear of Failure

Fear of Insignificance

Fear of Failure:

What will happen if I try?

“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” - Mark Twain

Fear of Insignificance:

What will happen if I don’t try?

What is the most expensive property in the world?

Courage

What is God’s dream?

 

586 BC

Slaves to Babylonian Empire

Artaxerxes

Nehemiah 1:2-4  //  Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that had survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem. They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.

VISION: A picture of what COULD be fueled by the CONVICTION of what should be.

Frustration is a gift from God.

Pray & Work

Nehemiah 1:11  //  Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.” I was cupbearer to the king.

Nehemiah 2:1-6  //  In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before, 2 so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.” I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, “May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my ancestors are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?” The king said to me, “What is it you want?” Then I prayed to the God of heaven, 5 and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my ancestors are buried so that I can rebuild it.” Then the king, with the queen sitting beside him, asked me, “How long will your journey take, and when will you get back?” It pleased the king to send me; so I set a time.

Dream

Pray

Do

God, break my heart for what breaks Yours.

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Matthew 1:21-23 NIV  //  “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”  (which means “God with us”).

Isaiah 7:14

400 years of silence

Malachi 4:5-6  //  “See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.”

God’s silence does NOT equal his inactivity

Psalm 127:2 AMP  //  It is vain for you to rise early, To retire late, To eat the bread of anxious labors— For He gives [blessings] to His beloved even in his sleep.

Sometimes silence IS the actual answer we need

IMMANUEL – Hebrew – God with us

He is always speaking

Because of Immanuel:

We are not ALONE

We are KNOWN

We have HOPE

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Rest.

I’ll never forgive myself.

I’m haunted by what I’ve done.

There’s no way God could forgive me.

Wraith

Isaiah 1:18 NLT  //  “Come now, let’s settle this,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool. If you will only obey me...”

We can bury it.

Proverbs 28:13  //  He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

We can beat ourselves up.

Psalm 38:4-8  //  I am drowning in the flood of my sins, they are a burden too heavy to bear. Because I have been foolish, I’m utterly worn out and crushed, my heart is troubled.

We can blame others.

Genesis 3:13  //  The serpent deceived me, and I ate.

What do we do? The answer feels easy and Christianese.

You need a new set of beliefs.

We can believe God.

1 Timothy 1:13-15  //  Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst.

How do I get past my past?

1. Stop trying to earn forgiveness.

Ephesians 2:8-9  //  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast.

2. Defeat every lie with the truth.

John 8:44  //  When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

1 Corinthians 1:30 NLT  //  Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin.

3. Allow God to turn it around for good.

Romans 8:28  //  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Genesis 50:20  //  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

You don’t need forgiveness, you need faith.

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What do you get a church that has everything?

Rest.

Isaiah 9:2-3, 6  //  The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine. 3 You will enlarge the nation of Israel, and its people will rejoice. They will rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest and like warriors dividing the plunder. 6 For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Wonderful Counselor

Mighty God

Everlasting Father

Prince of Peace

“I feel safe with you.”

Faith is playing to WIN.

Fear is playing not to LOSE.

Faith is the process of UNLEARNING FEAR.

Luke 2:8-9 KJV  //  And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

Sore: Extremely; Severely

Luke 2:10-14 KJV  //  And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. 12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men

God’s Will is GOOD Will

Bethlehem God WITH Us

Calvary God FOR Us

Pentecost God IN Us

Psalm 23:4 KJV  //  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me

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