I still have lots more to go I think I talked a little bit about how allostatic load is like accumulating gravity and gravity to me is almost like the intersection of light and sound where we create these images that are scar tissue on our inner light body interface quantum processor I wonder if gravity's like the opposite of light or something or chiral to light I'm not sure how that works exactly but there's something about the non-superimposable mirror images I also worked on the gravity creates mass I don't know about that but just something I wrote down and just like exercise using the force of gravity so lifting weights putting weight lifting it in the force of gravity create strength embodying ones mania in the field of gravity and also in the field of consciousness might actually create the critical mass of consciousness so embodied mania is how we move about space and gravity in our gestures and by doing that we're repattern in reality which the pattern and the vibration is more to do with light and consciousness so we're being more our light body when we're moving in these ways that the universe would animate us and I feel like that will create the critical mass that's needed to shift this dense material reality into actuality so I think I'm seeing something about the relatedness to consciousness and gravity they're both really related there's a field of gravity and there's the field of consciousness and when I go into manic consciousness gravity has less effect on me and I feel lighter and I'm taller so there is something about the field of consciousness is lighter in the field of gravity has less effect because there's less mass it's less dense and that's why I think the material reality is almost like the accumulation of material on the light body perhaps consciousness and this other consciousness is anti gravity actually do you feel like that other reality is just adjacent to us it might actually be chiral it might be a non-superimposable mirror image and I do feel like autistic children are seeds of a different kind of human being that is actually necessary for the planet right now I was listening to a talk on a course like a online course about trickster and a lady mentioned something that was really profound she said that there's a certain type of weed that's like an invasive species where she lives that is all over the place but she said it's actually needed because it's sort of holding the ground together or something and she says the weed the supposed weed that shows up is actually what's needed and it's the strength yet it's seen as like this big invasion and like it shouldn't be here but it's actually there for a reason it's like the medicine needed like where I live there's a lot of dandelions growing and that is good medicine for a lot of things but we don't use it we just see it as a weed so what I'm saying is with children with autism not that they're weeds but they are exactly what are needed but will we just or throw weed killer on them or will we actually allow them to flower into what they're designed to flower into again this is about experiencia diversity and diversity and consciousness and there are a different type of trans consciousness they're the type that haven't been able to develop strong language ego structures so it's like this as my experience but they get that as a young child versus going through all of this and then have it happen so it's like it's happening to the people that are at the end of this generation moving into adulthood and it's also happening to the ones being born now will we even be able to see their gifts likely not because it's something inner that has to flower externally and you can't and a flower will can't express its full beauty if all of its petals are being plucked off and I feel this real languaging project this transfer mania of language could help to lighten the allostatic load of the gravity of the words and then the meaning and the heaviness of what we've been given us a way to perceive ourselves and so for me with a trans consciousness I might have to keep my allostatic load low because I start to appear more in disorder someone was telling me they have virtual reality called oculus or something and that I was thinking about how mania and psychosis is kind of like inner virtual reality in a way without wearing virtual reality goggles so it's almost like augmented reality but it's augmented in a way that is based on the collective past and possible collective future so it's scary because it's actually real virtual reality I was thinking about how the ego have interferes with people's inner light body interference pattern well how can we as manic consciousness embody our mania to create a pattern interrupt and cognitive dissonance heart resonance to actually interrupt the pattern interrupt of other people's ego on their inner light body how can we deactivate other people's ego circuits I think it's actually by behaving like adult children caring loving silly and if that's not the right way at least still be a lot more fun so a way to make this fun or make fun of it or make fun with it or have fun with it and I think I talked about this that'd be cool to Train peer supporters not necessarily people with lived experience of a diagnosis per se but people that had the spiritual emergence paradigm had a CPR tre and all these different elements because I was thinking that it's almost rude to put people that have been traumatized by the system in the system to try to help people through the system it takes the people that went through the system down as well as I don't know I just I'm not sure about that maybe that's like putting a cow back in the slaughterhouse to lead cows to the slaughter when the cow managed to escape the slaughterhouse I was thinking that people can be trained in that way to be like someone that would be working at sotiria house but not necessarily having a house so it's a superior house without walls and I think I did talk about this but I forget and it doesn't have to be a people with lived experience because some people are just naturally so good at helping people with this dress and through distress and just have that energetic nature a human distress crew and I was thinking I'm not sure people can recover through the system they can recover as and recover up the issues and put band-aids on things and and sort of live a half of a life by going through the system and I don't know if that's good enough and I feel like I went through the system and I don't know I don't know if I'm the exception or not but I feel like there's not that many people that come through it intact and I'm not even saying that I'm intact I'm actually right now in a period of time that in danger of going back to the psych ward it's kind of about that time of year and but I still managed to put myself back together each time because I don't think in terms of the framework of mental illness they even talk about oh the more times it happens the worse it gets in the worse over time the worst this and blah blah blah like always pushing to remain in remission and instead of thinking I have to remain in remission and being afraid I give myself permission to live and if I fall I fall and then I just get back up instead of not living and then maybe having more say depression because I'm not living about trying to live so I didn't even recover through the system it was by being involved in the clubhouse model and living in three-quarter housing for young adults and being immersed in that community so my immunity to the psych ward was actually living in that community and having all those relationships and meeting all those people in developing those relationships it was the relationships that kept me well and and not going through a system that was cold and then in order to get my little ego life back intact and to go back out in to the meaningless world instead I was doing completely meaningless things in a very very meaningful place I was cleaning toilets and baking cookies and just hanging out and having fun and not really doing anything you know that would be thought of a super meaningful but it was the most meaningful time in my life just to be connected with people for no reason at all just to be around people and enjoy people and and if I had a chunk of money I would I would almost create that I would almost create a replica of that in a way not in terms of Oh mental illness or anything but just because it's a really healthy way to live almost like having residents part and then a drop-in center for people and I don't know who it would be four but and it would be partly selfish because it would help to keep me well and I wonder if it's partly because ego consciousness is sort of wanted to be by itself and wanting to do its own thing and personal goals and that other consciousness that common humanity just wants to be a human being around human beings and that's really meaningful and and so I'm just thinking in terms of my new job I don't know if it's social enough for me but I don't even think of myself as the social person so I don't think people recover in the system they recover in relationship in fun in in sort of a community aspect and and I wonder if people that go into trans consciousness need more community than they realize and I was talking even with embodied mania about how make it relational while being community just automatically makes oneself relational yeah so the mental health system didn't really heal me other people did just community relationship wonder if I could start community housing for trans conscious people trans consciousness after the egg for a thing I was just realizing that society is like collective egg fork sensation in that everything we encounter is like an image or a sound words thoughts images memes from somewhere in society somewhere else and then some of we choose to take on as part of our identity or identify with but it's just memes it's just different bits of egg fork sensation in a way and we take them on within ourselves instead of just seeing them in the moment and letting them pass through us and in that way when we take it on as part of our identity we think it's part of us which adds to the ego which we don't realize is lack of X Forex sensation or lack of being present to allow it to pass through us why did we record it anything that we record is something from the past and if we recall it we can generally think that it has a quark sensation if we're saying all this happened that happened but a lot of times when we identify with things we don't have that egg fork sensation of we got that from somewhere in the past and it's not me but since we made it me we've now created this ego structure that is a me that is just past collected images that we think has something to do with now we take it to be our identity we identify with it but we're just identifying with past recordings and then we're afraid and things were actually just afraid of her own past recordings I was thinking about how the inner child has often talked about in terms of the pain of the inner child or maybe like what the inner child wanted and the dreams and stuff but it's not often talked about in terms of just playfulness and celebration and learning and you know exploring so I was thinking about that and I was also thinking about thought and the ego is sort of we use that to calculate reality and navigate it's like our compass it's our calculator it's our processor and it's not a very good instrument it's not a very good sonar and to use our ego for everything is kind of like trying to use a calculator for making a phone call we don't see that we have a lot more instruments than just this ego perception and as Jamie wheel said it's sort of like having one's inner experience as more of a dashboard than just thinking about past stories and I think if we create new memes wilco create a new dream and I was also thinking about how autism is like flow its flow in children it's a different type of flow meaning probably something going on with the prefrontal cortex the prefrontal cortex is probably not activating in a way to create language and self conceptualization and in my thoughts these children are immune to that there's a reason for that and I can't remember if I talked about this but I was thinking before and this probably was supposed to go on a different video tangent and I sort of got off track because I got writing too much and that's why these videos are more like bits and pieces they're not actually linear progressions of anything because my brain does not work in that way and I think that's one of the things I've been attempting to write this or write that and it doesn't work in that linear logical way because it's not about talking in order to make a point per se or prove anything it's just dialogue for the sake of making meaning and and having meaning flow through dialogue not by making anything else but that and mainly just to make meaning for myself and if I use any scientific terms it's just to be playful with words not to say that I'm a scientist even though I did do a science degree I was thinking about how productivity which they're talking about in terms of flow research is a concept productivity is a concept that fits within say a nine-to-five structure so how can we make someone be productive within this 925 structure which is like right now they're bored to tears and their prisoners of a clock and how do we make people productive in that framework so this assumes that humans are machines that if you upgrade the software or if you change the machine a little bit you're going to get more production and they talk about creativity in terms of productivity but creativity is when the me is not and it's difficult for the me to not be there when crammed into a 925 structure for example and I do think they're talking about how things need to change towards value creation versus productivity that could actually be quite scary because there's probably a very small portion of people in the world that would be able to maybe one percent that would be able to contribute to the world's productivity and maybe those people would be the people with all the wealth instead of the people that are able to enslave people well actually that could be good though because very few people would be doing all the work and everyone else would just get to play and the work would change in such a way that people would be creating playful structures and not prison structures and creativity happens in freedom and freedom is when somebody's freed from their ego and by putting somebody in a prison and putting pressure on them it's not as likely to happen the system of education turns us into producers into machines when had we not been trained into that we'd be naturally creative and so-called productive but from a different place and space we would we would produce from a different dimension from that inner dimension of humanity which is creativity beauty love playfulness learning these inner human dimensions are beyond time but we've clogged up again we've clogged up this inner human dimension of multidimensionality to ego personality which creates inner time and space which blocks out eternity it divides eternity and that internal eternity that we have which is our source of beauty creation and all of that the one that wants to be productive is the block to real productivity when we're not turned into producers but allowed to be the creators that we are we get turned into functions of other people's structures by the structure of society instead of co-creating our own life and being creators I heard this quote that said if you don't create your own structures you'll be convicted to other people's structures so I drew a picture again so the shows that there's this inner rich multi-dimensional area and the creativity unfolds in time and then if if it's the other way through education there's a block here and this inner dimension actually turns into functionality in time we turn into cogs in the machine we would naturally unfold something other than what we were funneled into being a function of creating some other products I wonder what's the immunity to losing one's creative nature and this probably led me to talking about part of the business I want to create based on projects and just people creating value and being paid for that value they create which is part of what gift they want to give and it's based on one's heart unfolding not on time in the day because the thing too is somebody might have been working on something on and off for ten years and then it's practically created and then somebody submits a proposal for wanting something created and somebody's already created it they might be able to get paid in such a way that maybe they only had to work a couple of more hours on it to perfect it but they've been working on it for ten years on and off so maybe they get X chunk of money that's a value versus oh you were here for three hours and you gave us this and we're going to give you wages for those hours so it acknowledges the people are already working on their gifts and people already have gifts to give that are just sitting there but there's no context in which for them to give it and then other projects could be something they just really passionately want to do and I was thinking too when a person's in a creative state they naturally fast they don't eat as much and maybe they go into ketosis and that could be part of the flow state as well which is just a fasting state not eating so much sugar and I could be the first person in the portal for this could be more like a portal like a curation of trans consciousness people that are trans conscious of difficulty walking in this world because it'd be like sleepwalking in a way but awake walking and being too awake almost because one can really see what's going on out there I can remember if I talked about that the mental health system is in recovery to the mental health system is mentally ill in a way and needs to recover but they're not seeing that there's they're thinking that everything they're doing is right and they're doing some right things but some things not so much and they're not really noticing their symptoms of a super ill system and I feel like the population called mentally ill is an untapped skilled heart-centered a bunch of people and their skills are just not recognized and there's no place for them in society so I'd like to create that space and that context that space in other people's minds just see it and I can't remember if I talked about this other little thought project and maybe not isn't even a campaign or anything maybe it's just a play on words but home less for homelessness which is home dash less meaning watch less TV get off one's butt and just go out and about and and help I would be helpful and be kind and I just think that in itself would help homelessness in a way somehow people that have homes need to be home less doing something to heal the gap and the disparity and I was also thinking about an aspect of it called tell your vision instead of television but it could be television tell one of your visions and just that's again about vision casting the future and so we can step into that and I think that's in a way mania and and having visions and things in those states of consciousness is like an appreciative inquiry it's like seeing what is and what is great and seeing how it could be and how it should be and if we don't talk about that at all we're not going to be able to move toward it I think a lot of people that go into those states have those experiences but never get a chance to share so it would be tell a vision as in te ll dash a dash vision television people could watch other people's visions have another little comparison that giving one's attention to the ego is like buying the best TV to watch the snow channel I don't even know if the snow channel exists anymore but still it would be to watch the snow channel I was thinking that my superpower is a quiet PFC pre-frontal cortex psychosis is like an allergy towards like reacting to words we're all reacting towards so we're all kind of in psychosis we're all allergic two words can we create new memes and move towards new means that are the collective vision not the collective ego I may have talked about this in a long time ago video but psychosis to me is a solution it's not the problem it's a symptom of the greater problem of humanity but not an individual illness I think people that get in contact with trans consciousness and have that clear perception and are able to perceive based on patterns can actually just look at something and see how it works and see the truth of it and understand it without meeting 10 years of science to pick that process apart so in that way i feel like people that go into these states are can go about redesigning reality quite quickly if they're really seeing with their hearts as opposed to reading in books and then doing a little study and changing one variable oh my gosh at this rate if we're actually doing that our technology is going to surpass us so fast like if that's how we're learning as humanity technology is definitely going to go by us and there's going to be a I robots that no way more than us because they'll figure it out way faster than we have with our little scientific process we are the universal we can just look if we have a clear perceptual field and understand how things work I heard someone share their story about recovery and they talked about volunteer and how much that helped them and it made me think about how that's part of what I want to design into my life and into people that I may be able to help in some way and they said that volunteer really helped and I was volunteering right away as well even though it wasn't official really helped I wrote down here paid in human growth I think that's saying to myself that the biggest payment I could receive as if I was able to be around people who wanted to grow as humanity more so than money I wrote down altruism first so i have a happiness first initiative altruism first as part of that because one of the fastest ways to be happy is to do something nice for other people and I think this creates physiological changes which actually lightens up one structure with the oxytocin I feel like the slow way to enlightenment is oxytocin the fast way is tryptamines like taking some kind of medication or drug to get there but that gets one there by oneself whereas the oxytocin is actually the protection from going into personal ecstasy which is quite dangerous because there's no such thing as personal ecstasy and so when you're not a person and you're in ecstasy you're alone and you can be destroyed quite easily

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