Lyrics

Deeper than danger

But I'm never scared

Further than NASA's journeys

Though a little bit less prepared

Feeling the days fly past me

But my thoughts are elsewhere

Making me feel like I'm

On top of the world, so leave me there

I see your face but its not

As clear as could be

A stream running through my heart and

The ripples keep tugging on me

Your words always resonate like

Skipping stones on a lake

But I only hear the echoes

Like we're both on opposite sides of a cave

And I know I know there's nothing here to make it easier

We just have to wait it out, just give it time

Cos there's a million miles between us and there ain't a thing we can do

Just keep on going strong and wait it out

I like when it gets to autumn

I love all the leaves

Flying like graceful pilots

Drifting on by in the breeze

I wait for the day when we can

Chill outside as we please

The sunshine behind your smile

As it sets for the night through all the trees

And I know I know there's nothing here to make it easier

We just have to wait it out, just give it time

Cos there's a million miles between us and there ain't a thing we can do

Just keep on going strong and wait it out

Deeper than danger

But I'm never scared

Cos you make me feel like

I'm on top of the world so leave me there

I'm having "top surgery" in Jan 2022, and I'm a whirlwind of nerves, excitement, and impatience. So I channeled all of those emotions into songwriting, and 'Shirtless on the Sofa' was the result. :)

Lyrics:

I'm gonna wake up in pain

Bet you didn't expect that's what I'd say

But I'm gonna wake up on the 24th day of January

And I'm gonna be in pain

So doctor give me that pain med drip

I want whatever makes me trip

So I can think about when the healing's over

I'll run through fields, or maybe skip

My life before will feel a blip

Then I'll be home, lying shirtless on the sofa

I'm gonna wake up that day

And I know exactly what I'll say

I'm gonna look the nurse directly in the eye

And I'll say: "God, that was a weight off my chest!"

And I'll be healing for 6 full weeks

These regulations are a tease

But I'll be careful, designer nipples are expensive

And when I finally see myself: "enchante, quelle surprise!"

I'll get out there, my life will feel like mine to live

I'll have my scars for life

But rather those than live in strife

There is no phrase that fits in quite a similar way

Than if there's no pain, there is no gain

So doctor give me that pain med drip

I want whatever makes me trip

So I can think about when the healing's over

I'll run through fields, or maybe skip

My life before will feel a blip

Then I'll be home, lying shirtless on the sofa

Semblance of a Beard is one of a small number of songs I've written since starting my journey on Testosterone. It's about my experience with my changing body, and how it's strange that the changes I've been dreaming of for years feel the best kind of weird.

As a few of you will be aware, I now live in Glasgow and will be diving back into music as I learn more about my deepening voice!

Lyrics:

Me, I've always been me

The thing that has changed

Is now I take Vitamin T

And I, I have a semblance of a beard

Me, I've always been me

The voice in my head

Now matches the voice in your ears

And I'm finding these changes good but weird

I look in the mirror

And I can see clear

A body that matches my brain

But there might be a little rain

And it's okay if there's a little rain, ohh

Things, things they will change

But what stays the same

Is how much I've suited my name

And it, it makes me feel like I could fly

Gender is just a game

That I need to play

And some people don't but that is okay

Some people let it pass them by

I look in the mirror

And I can see clear

A body that matches my brain

But there might be a little rain

And it's okay if there's a little rain, ohh

Me, I've always been me

I don't look the same

But I feel more like me than ever, ohh

This song originally started life as a poem, but kept on thinking it might work as a song :)

You can't rely on maps to find love

I've been through dozens:

Everytime thinking I've got lucky

I start to dig and it's just a dud.

You can't rely on maps to find love

So what if you're an expert

On compass navigation?

It doesn't mean much, it doesn't mean much when it's love.

I've been walking

In every direction

But I'm still getting nowhere

You can't rely on maps to find love

There's hills and little symbols

And roads with tiny signals

No hearts or even x marks the spot

You can't rely on maps to find love

My goddamn feet are aching

And I keep on mistaking

The sun rise in the morning, and when the earth is yawning, for love.

I've been walking

In every direction

Just for any sign

Or any little detection

But I'm still getting nowhere

You can't rely on maps to find love

I realised that and I soon gave up

I sat down on a bench

Absolutely drenched

Oblivious to you, the flower bud.

I saw the map peek out of your coat

Looking crumpled up and useless

Just a soggy paper nuisance

And the chances of it working, the chances are, for certain: remote.

Your eyes met mine, but how could this be?

Our maps were both used unsuccessfully

I shyly start a conversation

Guess I've found my destination

Ironic, totally, I agree.

You can't rely on maps to find love

I walked in all directions

Crossed a thousand intersections

And when I wasn't looking

My love story was cooking

You can't rely on maps to find love

********************

Maps

Lyrics & melody by: Charlie Leavy.

Performed by: Charlie Leavy.

Production by: Charlie Leavy.

© 2014 Charlie Leavy

Never Trusting Cupid

I've been filling in my calendar with x's

Should have used a pencil

I prefer erasing

Now im gonna throw it all away

Because the plans I'd "pencied in"

Were by a pen and now they won't go away

I've been filling in my calendar with x's

Now I've realised love can be so damn pretentious

Cupid fires arrows at your heart

But everytime I feel the blood

I know I’m shot in several other body parts

Woah oh oh oh how am I gonna jump the wall I built around myself when its 10 feet

Tall walls are looming over me, I've gotta get out somehow

I've been filling in my calendar with x's

Every plan we made is like a scream in both our faces

I don't know bout how you're getting on

But I don’t want to cos I know you'll be okay

Because your feelings are all gone

Everything was perfect, but you went and wrecked it

The time I start to organise has totally demoralised

My need to stay uplifted, I feel like I have drifted

The time I picked was stupid, im never trusting cupid again

Woah oh oh oh how am I gonna jump the wall I built around myself when its 10 feet

Tall walls are looming over me, I've gotta get out somehow

Woah oh oh oh how am I supposed to make a map to navigate around a maze when

I don’t know where the hell I've started from, I've gotta get out somehow

I'll be okay

That's what they say

I'll be alright

If I get you out of my mind

I've been filling up my memories with exes

Every time I love, I seem to be so reckless

There's no time for me to fall apart

I need to climb the walls I built

And find another way to strengthen up my heart

Woah oh oh oh how am I gonna jump the wall I built around myself when its 10 feet

Tall walls are looming over me, I've gotta get out somehow

Woah oh oh oh how am I supposed to make a map to navigate around a maze when

I don’t know where the hell I've started from, I've gotta get out somehow

********************

Never Trusting Cupid

Lyrics & melody by: Charlie Leavy.

Performed by: Charlie Leavy.

Production by: Charlie Leavy.

© 2016 Charlie Leavy

Lyrics

Boy, keep your mitts away

She don't wanna play

She don't want to

Don't you hear what I say?

Boy, women aren't your right

They don't owe you shit

They don't owe you

So keep walking your way

You may be 26

But if you keep throwing a fit

Every time she turns you down

I don't know if you heard

But if you call all women birds

There's no way you'll win her over

Just a boy, not a man

Boy, it's not hard to know

That when a girl says no

She don't want you

And you should know that

Boy, calling her a bitch

Will just prolong your itch

Don't be dumb, boy

Use the brain your mama gave

You may be 26

But if you keep throwing a fit

Every time she turns you down

I don't know if you heard

But if you call all women birds

There's no way you'll win her over

Just a boy, not a man

Just so you know

Your so called "friend zone"

It's not a thing

Girls don't owe you shit, boy

Just so you know

That so called "friend zone"

It's just a way to try to

Make all the girls feel bad

Just a boy, not a man

You may be 26

But if you keep throwing a fit

Every time she turns you down

I don't know if you heard

But if you call all women birds

There's no way you'll win her over

Just a boy, not a man

********************

Just A Boy

Lyrics & melody by: Charlie Leavy.

Performed by: Charlie Leavy.

Production by: Charlie Leavy.

© 2015 Charlie Leavy

Yet again another very quick recording done during my A Level revision! I will do a better recording during July :)

Lyrics

Flowing through my veins

Are things that I cannot explain so easily

You're in my bloodstream

And I think you always have been

Now lets get one thing straight

I'm not asking you on a date, it's not that way

But I have to say

I'm so glad you stayed

People can't be cures

But there's nothing stopping them from being

Harnesses and parachutes

Umbrellas and rubber boots

Whenever I've felt

There was a storm above my head

You've been my optimistic weather girl

Changing up the seasons for me

I've never known how to tell you

You bring the brighter weather all day long

I wanna give you this song

No-one paints

Black clouds blue

Except you

Clear skies are always better

Flowing through my brain

Are things that I cannot contain, I might explode

Cos you need to know

I won't let you go

The sun will always rise

Though yesterday was full of lies, you reassure

You open up doors

You help me explore

People can't be cures

But there's nothing stopping them from being

Woolly socks and handkerchiefs

Duffel coats and longer sleeves

Whenever I've felt

There was a storm above my head

You've been my optimistic weather girl

Changing up the seasons for me

I've never known how to tell you

You bring the brighter weather all day long

I wanna give you this song

No-one paints

Black clouds blue

Except you

Clear skies are always better

But there was a time when we weren't so close

And I have to say I hate that the most

I'm so glad I snapped my senses back right

You can't walk through darkness alone without a light

I've never known how to tell you

You bring the brighter weather all day long

I wanna give you this song

No-one paints

Black clouds blue

Except you

Clear skies are always better x2

Flowing through my veins

Are things that I cannot explain so easily

You're in my bloodstream

And I think you always have been

Lyrics

You know we're just a pile of atoms, baby, me and you

We're just a great big pile of science, skin and bones and molecules

But there's something about the curves in your DNA

That made a smile so irresistible

I'm trying to understand the theories and hypothesis

But I'll need something for my research, how about a kiss?

There's something in your codes or genes or chromosomes

That made me fall so inexplicably

And it's making my cheeks burn up

Everything's going numb

My stomach is churning and my brain is yearning

For me to stop acting so dumb

I bet you think I'm a fool

Who doesn't come close to cool

I need to stop talking and just keep on walking

So that I don't look like a tool

I want your love, love, love and affection

Give me your love, love, love

So if attraction is just science then explain me this:

Why does it feel like there's a circus inside me doing tricks?

They won't pack their bags and leave, much to my discontent

And I'm pretty sure they've never paid rent

For days I locked myself away to figure something out

Needed to know if we're compatible without a doubt

And there's something in my research you might wanna see

X + Y is love when X is you and Y is me

Oh you're making my cheeks burn up

Everything's going numb

My stomach is churning and brain is yearning

For me to stop acting so dumb

I bet you think I'm a fool

Who doesn't come close to cool

I need to stop talking and just keep on walking

So that I don't look like a tool

I want your love, love, love and affection

Give me your love, love, love

I want your love, love, love and affection

Give me your love, love, love

I was in my laboratory yesterday and I found

That after weeks and months of tests there's this strange compound

Which fuses with precise kinetic energy

In other words I'm trying to say please kiss me

Oh I think my brain's blowing up

I can't move my lips and tongue

After hours and hours and hours of research

Everything's finally done

I know you don't think I'm a fool

Though I'm definitely still not so cool

I'll carry on talking and only keep walking

If I'm only walking with you

I want your love, love, love and affection

Give me your love, love, love

I've got your love, love, love and affection

Give me your love, love, love and affection baby 

********************

Science

Lyrics & melody by: Charlie Leavy.

Performed by: Charlie Leavy.

Production by: Charlie Leavy.

© 2015 Charlie Leavy

A one take acoustic recording. Not the best quality, but hopefully it's ok until I can create a decent recording.

---------------------

You are gonna be the death of me someday

You're painting pictures in my mind

So beautiful

And they could put the sunsets to shame

And all of the shapes inside of me

That make up my heart and personality

They seem to fit with yours incidentally

And that's the way I know that

Baby you are the one

But I'm just a tiny bit afraid to love you

Because every time I get this way love falls through

But if I could keep you in my arms and hold you

I think the picture of our love would start to paint

With our shapes, with our shapes

The way you make me feel is out of this world

Stretch a map across the stars

There's constellations of the shapes of mine and yours

And ours, connecting up the dots

And all the colours inside of you

That paint all the things you eat, breathe, say and do

Mixes of reds and pinks and white and blue

That's the way I know that

Baby you are the one

But I'm just a tiny bit afraid to love you

Because every time I get this way love falls through

But if I could keep you in my arms and hold you

I think the picture of our love would start to paint

With our shapes, with our shapes

Cos I can taste the coffee on your lips

Used to hate it but now I can't resist

And every time you have to leave

I'm thinking 'bout us

And when you wake up baby - you're so sweet

Your "no make-up" face is such a treat

But I'm always scared I'll do something wrong

But I'm just a tiny bit afraid to love you

Because every time I get this way love falls through

But if I could keep you in my arms and hold you

I think the picture of our love would start to paint

With our shapes, with our shapes

Lyrics & music by: Charlie Leavy.

Performed by: Charlie Leavy.

© 2015 Charlie Leavy

I'm sitting on the sand,

Watch the grains sift through my hands,

And all I can think about is you.

As the tide touches my feet,

I know something's not complete,

Cos there's a space beside me right where you should be.

All the sunsets mean nothing,

Nothing, when you watch them alone.

Cos it hit me like a ton of bricks,

When I was swimming in the sea,

And you wouldn't believe how far it dragged me down.

I'm feeling like I cannot breathe,

But the water still deceives,

And I swear with one more breath I'd surely drown.

That is how I feel,

When you're not around.

Walking along the beach,

Stretch my hand but I still can't reach,

Cos you're just too far away across the sea.

Dreaming that I could fly,

With the stars peppered in the sky,

And in no time I'd be there, oh you'll see.

All the sunsets mean nothing,

Nothing, when you watch them alone.

Cos it hit me like a ton of bricks,

When I was swimming in the sea,

And you wouldn't believe how far it dragged me down.

I'm feeling like I cannot breathe,

But the water still deceives,

And I swear with one more breath I'd surely drown.

That is how I feel,

When you're not around.

As you're watching the sunrise,

There should be no surprise,

That I'm sleeping safe and sound.

In my dreams the stars will guide,

Me right back to your side,

And I'll wrap my arms around you.

Cos it hit me like a ton of bricks,

When I was swimming in the sea,

And you wouldn't believe how far it dragged me down.

I'm feeling like I cannot breathe,

But the water still deceives,

And I swear with one more breath I'd surely drown.

That is how I feel,

When you're not around.