Act Like Men

#66 – 365 Christian Men 

Guest:  Blake Mattocks   

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Show Notes 

Wouldn’t it be great if all Christian men would start their day sitting and reading God’s Word and contemplating God’s encouragement for each day?  The truth is many men do not typically begin the day sitting and reading.  Here is some very encouraging news.  Six years ago, 365 Christian Men started video recording ~7-minute stories of Hero of the Faith.  These are available free, through an app or the website.  

365 Christian Men is a project built on some basic truths about God and His character. God cares deeply about each man, and He has a specific purpose for every man’s life. God wants to tell His stories through the lives of His men.  These very short stories would be about men who have fought their battles, are overcoming their obstacles, and are using the lessons they’ve learned to help others.

For more than two years, the team has worked hard to see that vision come to life. To make that happen, they were committed to several foundational truths:

1.     History is shaped by how men live their lives.

2.     No man is perfect. Many of the great triumphs in life have come through trials, great fails, setbacks, and heartache.

3.     God can use real-life stories to demonstrate His power, His goodness, and His love for men. He can do tremendous things through a man who recognizes his need for God, is willing to submit to His plan, and will trust Him with his future.

The Executive Director of 365 Christian Men is our guest today.  He is passionate about getting these stories out for all men to be able to read.  In addition to the US, 365 Christian men are now in multiple countries reaching millions of men every week.  In the US it is listed in the Top 10 Podcasts, but far exceeds that internationally.  

Men, MMC highly recommends 365 Christian and encourages you to subscribe however you consume your podcasts.   With a short story every day, followed by a simple but clear challenge on what to do with what you just heard, this will impact your life.   You can listen on your way to work, while you walk or work out, or listen with a group of other men who are as serious about their faith as you are.  

Blessings to Blake Mattocks and 365 Christian Men as you impact men around the world.   

Questions to ask yourself: 

1. Where am I going for daily Biblical truth and Christian inspiration?  
2. When was the last time I heard a story of a Biblical or modern-day hero in the faith and applied truths of their life to my own?
3. How would my faith be different if I would take less than 10 minutes a day for biblical truth and encouragement?  

To connect with Blake or 365 Christian Men, go to:  https://www.365Christianmen.com

Just a reminder these podcasts are released on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.   For additional podcasts, go to: https://mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/

Ever heard the phrase – “I am doing okay, under the circumstances”. Where is the focus of that statement? Is it “I am doing okay”, or is it “under the circumstances”? Many people are only OK if the circumstances are going OK. We know in life things do not always go okay. In fact, Jesus said – “in this world, you will have trouble” – Gee Thanks!!

So the question is, if we are going to face challenges consistently — and we do — what are some anchor points that we can hook on to for safety as we are working our way through life? Remember if you are rock climbing, you depend on anchor points that are in the mountain, typically placed by those who have gone before you, and give you safety as you are navigating challenging places on the climb so that if you fall, you will have a protection to keep falls from becoming fatal.

Today we want to highlight several anchor points the Psalmist David laid out for us. It is found in Psalm 37: 1–8. These verses are full of guidelines that David lays out on how to live in victory even in the worst circumstances.

1. V. 1–2: Don’t worry about evil doers. They will disappear like grass. The world is in a difficult place. It is easy to spend our energy worrying and complaining about the wrong in the world that takes our focus and energy away from what God asks of us.
2. V. 3: Place your trust in God and do what you know to be right according to the Bible. Then he says to live like you are at home and continue in your faithfulness.
3. V. 4: Find your fulfillment in the things in God and He will give you what you desire.
4. V. 5–6: Be fully committed to the things of God — trust even in the darkness — and He will bring His justice upon the earth.
5. V. 7: Be quiet before God and peacefully wait on Him — no matter what circumstances are around you.
6. V. 8: Don’t give in to anger and let go of vengeance — in due time God promises we will inherit what he has promised for us.

All of us need to know there are anchor points in our lives that help us enjoy the times of sunshine and have victory when the clouds are dark and hang really low. The great news is that God desires His people to live in victory either way.

Just a reminder these podcasts are released on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.   For additional podcasts, go to: https://mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/

Steve Graves is a strategist, CEO advisor, and author. At any given time, Steve is working with a handful of remarkable executives leading large global organizations and young, hungry entrepreneurs just starting. He has authored twenty books and worked with thousands of leaders weaving themes of strategy, leadership, and faith hoping to help people flourish in their life and work. Additionally, he co-owns a half-dozen companies across multiple industries. When Steve is not steering notable leaders or creating content and frameworks, you might find him back-casting in the cold clear rivers of northwest Arkansas.

Fathers have been given a phenomenal gift and tremendous responsibilities regarding their sons specifically. One of the most satisfying pieces of a father is when he and his son have intentional conversations that will impact his son for life. In the process, we as dads have a mirror into our own life and reveal new ways for us to grow and focus the message to our sons that takes us back to our teenage or young adult years.

Steve’s book, 41 Deposits, guides you as a dad in the topics, the process, and even questions to help you walk through these conversations with your son. Every chapter is short, starts with a story, and ends in application — written just for men.

This book came about when he realized that raising a son is different than raising a daughter. As a result, he wanted to invest the necessary time and focus in his son as he transitioned to adulthood.

There are Seven sections in the book and 41 Crucial topics of conversation that you will want to work through.

The sections are:

1. My Core
2. My Heart
3. My Relationships
4. My Work
5. My Future

I trust you can take time to enjoy this podcast as Steve is a deep thinker — the complex, simple, creative storyteller — who makes the point through the story and is very practical so you and I can pick up the book and have these much-needed conversations with our sons.

We pray that you are challenged to invest the time with your teenager or young adult sons. It is an investment that will touch the generations that follow.

To contact Steve Graves, go to stephenrgraves.com. He has free weekly articles that you may enjoy.

This is a continuation of the topic from Podcast #62 on Dads and Daughters.   If you have not yet listened to #62  Dad, Here’s What I REALLY Need from You,  please take 20 minutes and invest the time to do so:  https://mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/  you will be glad you did.   

This podcast focuses on Michelle’s second book entitled:  Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters.  This book came out of a several-month conversation with the dads of daughters who were seeing Michelle in her counseling practice.  What she gave them was terrific conversation tips and starters.  

Michelle starts the book by laying the groundwork – a lot of the value of why this is so important, giving confidence as men to engage, and giving us a roadmap to encourage our daughter to engage with us.  

The next section is a toolbox – Men I mean a BIG TOOLBOX:  this book has 60 (yep, you heard it right) conversation topics, with conversation starters in each topic.  These topics are sectioned into five areas: 

• Lead her to LAUGH
• Lead her to LOVE
• Lead her to LOOK
• Lead her to LAMENT
• Lead her to LISTEN

Keeping in mind all of these have been tested by the fathers of the daughters she met with for several months as they were working through it.  

Men – what if you are thinking it is too late for you?  You are estranged from your daughter, and you believe there is no possible way you can ever be reconciled.    She has a section in this book for you as well.  We are believing and praying that if this describes you, you will read carefully, pray fervently, love patiently, and give God time to work.  

Bless you men, on this extremely important journey.   

You can reach Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield and get all of her work, including many free resources, on her website: www.drmichellewatson.com

Just a reminder these podcasts are released on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.   For additional podcasts, go to: https://mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/

Dads, wouldn’t it be great if there were some handy resource to help you understand your daughter, her behavior, and how to communicate with her more effectively?  Dad, Here’s What I Really Need from You is all about.  

Our guest today has authored a very practical guide for men to be able to understand the importance of our role in our daughter's life and packed it full of practical “how to’s” that will help us all be better at one of our most important roles in this life.

From Michelle’s past experiences, field of study, and years of clinical work with her clients, not to mention her being a woman, she speaks practical truth to us dads.    She offers Tools that we men can relate to that will help us know what topics we need to think about to be successful as a dad.  

Four main sections walk us men through this wonderful journey.  Things like the Why, the Toolbox, the Heart, and looking inside of ourselves.  

Just some of the tools found in the second section are: 

• Be an active listener
• Help her find her own voice 
• Give her quantity time 
• Lead with vulnerability 
• Learn to read her eyes
• Convince her she is worthy
• Put it in writing 
• And a whole lot more 

If your daughter is young or even if she is not, this is a tool that you will want to have in your tool belt.   Everything I heard from Michelle and see in her book has tremendous application to my relationship with my wife as well.   

Men, I encourage you to take this journey and like everything else you do, be willing to fully commit for the long run, and it will pay generational dividends.  

You can reach Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield and get all of her work, including many free resources, on her website: www.drmichellewatson.com

Just a reminder these podcasts are released on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.   For additional podcasts, go to: https://mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/

#61 –  Purity – A Biblical View    

Guest:  Steve Etner   

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Show Notes 

This podcast is designed to be an encouragement.  While our topic is pornography and all that comes with it, our cure is not “You have got to do better – you know what you are doing is wrong”.   The cure – change your love – love God and worship him supremely, hide His Word in your heart, and have accountability as you are walking through this journey.    God loves you – gave His son to die for you so you could be free in this life and have life everlasting with Him.  

The statistics are that as many as 77% of men and 27% of women struggle with pornography consistently.  We know that when a man struggles with pornography, whether or not it is still a secret, it impacts his relationship with God, his self-image and identity, and of course, it impacts his wife and his children.  The impacts are devastating as some of you know.  Steve’s approach is different than many approaches one might normally hear.  Steve indicates that what one is experiencing is not a sexual problem – it is a worship problem.  Who are we worshipping?   Have we fallen in love with Jesus?  Do we hide His Word in our hearts?  

• The Bible tells us that we should “hide God’s Word in our hearts that we might not sin against Him”  Psalm 119:11   
• I John 5:17 says “All wrongdoing is sin”.  There is no distinction between kinds of sin.  God paid for and forgives them all.  
• Ecclesiastes 7:20 says “There is not a righteous man on the earth who does what is right and never sins”.
• Numbers 32:23 also says, “Be sure your sin will find you out”.   Eventually, every sin is discovered.  

You will be encouraged by Steve’s story.  He is open, honest, and real, and provides hope by sharing his path to victory.    His approach is non-judgmental, hopeful, and very clear on the path to victory.   

I close as Steve started – it is not a sexual addiction problem; it is a worship problem.  

Friend – today be encouraged!  There is hope, help, and direction to get you unstuck as you move forward in victory.  Do not do this alone!   Find the strength to move forward as you trade your struggle for Worship and the Word!! 

You can reach Steve Etner personally (his phone number is listed on his website), or any of his resources:  www.thepuritycoach.com

Just a reminder these podcasts are released on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.   For additional podcasts, go to: https://mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/

#60 –  Almost Daddy   

Guest:  Greg Mayo  

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Show Notes 

Over 63 million abortions have been performed in the US alone since 1973. That’s a lot of dads who lost fatherhood.  Over 22 million men have said they regret their abortion part but have no idea where to go for help.  Greg’s passion is helping these men find hope, healing, and a restored relationship with God.   Greg carries this message to churches, pastors, mento health leaders, crisis pregnancy centers, and anywhere where the need for healing is recognized.  Restoring men who have lost fatherhood to abortion will change the church and the world.  

After the publication of Almost Daddy: the Forgotten Story to reach and help men who have lost fatherhood to abortion find hope, healing, and a restored relationship with God, Greg launched a ministry to reach and help men who have experienced his story.  Greg has published over 300 stories in newspapers and magazines and talked to thousands of people about recovery and healing.  Almost Daddy: The Forgotten Story now has a small group study guide.  Greg lives in Central Indiana with his wife of 32 years, Stacey.  Together they have four grown sons and three grandchildren.  

Let’s look at some data:  

• One in five men in this country experience the pain of abortion with their partner.  
• 83% of men in these situations would benefit from help.  
• 79% of these men will seek help if they know where to go for help.  
• The hard statistic is that only 7% of men say would go to a clergy for help.  

What is the message?   God loves each of us regardless of our background, mistakes, and things that may come our way from the choices of others.   There is no situation in which God cannot offer forgiveness.    If we ask for forgiveness – God forgives. Period!!  Many times the challenge is the shame that the enemy throws at us to keep us from living in victory and seeing ourselves as God sees us.   We need each other to help us move forward in victory.   If you find yourself in this situation – reach out for help.  If you do not know who to reach out to, then reach out to our guest: Greg Mayo.  

You can reach Greg and his valuable, caring resources at:  www.gregmayoauthor.com

To reach Greg Mayo to have him speak with you, your men, or for any of his books:   https://almostdaddy.com

Just a reminder these podcasts are released on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.   For additional podcasts, go to: https://mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/

#59 – 52 Things Wives Want From Their Husbands  

Guest:  Jay Payleitner 

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Show Notes 

This is one of the most encouraging podcasts we have been privileged to bring forward.  Our guest is very funny as he brings forward tremendous wisdom and truth about our marriage relationship.  You will laugh, poke fun at yourself, and be motivated to be the husband your wife needs.  I recommend his book on this topic and any of his books full of bite-size wisdom.  

About our guest:  

After a decade of writing advertising for airlines and beer, Jay Payleitner followed God’s clear call to serve as a freelance producer for thousands of radio broadcasts for Chuck Colson, Josh McDowell, Fathers.com, Heritage Foundation, and Voice of the Martyrs. Those relationships led to Jay becoming a national speaker and best-selling author of 30+ books including the bestselling 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad, Hooray for Grandparents!, What If God Wrote Your Bucket List? and 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands. Jay’s books have been translated into ten languages and sold more than 3/4 million copies. He has been a guest multiple times on The Harvest Show, Chris Fabry Live, and Focus on the Family. Jay and his wife, Rita, live near Chicago, where they raised great five kids, loved on ten foster babies, and are cherishing grandparenthood. 

Here are a few of the points we discuss in this episode: 

1. No one knows your wife better than you.  You know before you say something how she is going to react.  
2. You know what your wife likes.  If you give your wife what she likes, it gives me joy as well.  
3. Nagging Prevention:  Ask your wife if this is okay.  This applies to many situations. 
4. Plan for your entry into the house.  Give some updates on your day – ask if there is anything you need me to do.  
5. Pray you hit bottom – when you do your marriage has the opportunity to become more than it ever would be otherwise.  
6. I think we need to kiss more and kiss better.   Without sex in your mind.  

Men, we want to do well with our wives.   Knowing what they want, and diligently working to meet their needs at the same time has a magical way of meeting our own needs.    

Today – we pray for your marriage and for the generations who follow you well thanks to you men who make it a mission to understand what your wife wants and working to do just that.   

To reach Jay Payleitner to have him speak with your men, or any of his books, including the one we talked through today:  52 Things Wives Want From Their Husband, go to: jaypayleitner.com

Just a reminder these podcasts are released on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.   For additional podcasts, go to: https://mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/

#58 – Raising the Next Generation To Grow With Jesus 

Guest:  Dr. Jeff Baxter 

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Show Notes 

Dr. Jeff Baxter is the NexGen Pastor at Mission Hills Church in Littleton, Colorado.  He is married, the father of three children, and on a mission to ensure his children know and follow Jesus.  He lives what he teaches by growing three adults who love Jesus as well as growing a legacy ministry in his role at Mission Hills Church.  

How do we grow the next generation to grow with Jesus?  We love Jeff’s open honest comment: 

“I share this content to let you know we have stumbled along the path of parenting.  We have not always seen things eye to eye as a couple, nor have we gotten it right with your kids, but we have worked it through and continue to do so.”   

That should make all of us feel better in terms of our mess-ups with our kids.  However, the comment that separates many of us from the others is:  But we have worked it through and continue to do so.  It is imperative as parents that we do not pull back but keep leaning until we somehow get it right.   Be encouraged and do not give up.  

The truth is parenting is hard.  It requires over-communication and creates levels of trust by being open and asking forgiveness when we mess up.   The long-term is the focus to build the foundation for the future, not just the now.  While parenting is difficult, being a kid is also very difficult.  Kids do want us to be their parents (the adults in the room) as they struggle with the emotional and anxiety challenges that our kids face.  It does mean we need to offer a lot of grace as we work through helping our kids move from childhood to adulthood.  

One of the challenges we face as parents is this.  Far too many men leave the parenting to the moms.  Early on the maternal instinct and influence is so critical.  As the kids get older they need our paternal instinct as men.  Yet with the drama that sometimes is a part of adolescence, we men can pull back to avoid being caught up in the drama.   That is the time that both girls and boys need our involvement.  It helps create their sense of identity as they now relate to the paternal parent, rather than the maternal.   Boys need to get their male identity from their fathers.  We dare not pull back in these times.   

Another key point is that we need to communicate love and acceptance for our children based on who they are – not based on their grades and their goals.  We often communicate how proud we are of them when they accomplish something – or make us parents look good.   It is all about the child and finding ways to love them as your child, not for their performance.  

Parents – we want to encourage you to stay strong in your process of raising Godly Adults.  Be real, be authentic, be the adult in the room and keep leaning in.  There is so many opportunities to model God’s kind of grace, while at the same time staying focused at helping our children become Godly adults.  We pray for you and your journey in helping not only impacting your kids, but their kids, and grandkids as well.    

Please reach out to Jeff and get his material to help you as you walk through the journey of moving your children to becoming Godly adults.  

To reach Dr. Jeff Baxter or any of his books, including the one we talked through today: Raising the Next Generation to Grow with Jesus, go to: jeffbaxter.org

For more: Vist https://mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/

#57 – Forgiveness 

How do I get out of the Cage of Unforgiveness

Guest:  Jay Cookingham 

Act Like Men – Men’s Leadership Podcast

Sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Podcast Show Notes 

Jay Cookingham in his book entitled Uncaged – Living a Life of Freedom says “Forgiveness has enabled me to live the life God has intended for me, which is so much more than being “saved”. It is a calling to become someone. I can become the husband, the father, the brother, the son, and the man God designed to be because I am forgiven”.

Take time to listen to Jay’s story of God’s grace and man’s depravity.  The great news is that God’s grace is greater than any cage in which you may find yourself.    

Some key points are: 

• The most powerful cages are the ones where you don’t even know you are locked up.    
• The first one uncaged is always the one who forgives. 
• Forgiveness is necessary for freedom. 

What do we know about forgiveness?  Jay lists 14 things about forgiveness that show how important.   Here are just 5 of his key points: 

• Forgiveness is a decision of our will. 
• Forgiveness is not denial. 
• Forgiveness does not mean being a doormat.  
• Forgiveness does not require the one who hurt you to be involved.  
• Forgiveness is not a lack of anger.  
• And so many more… 

Where do we go from here?  

• If you are in denial about your cage – call it what it is so God can help you get out of the cage. 
• Recognize that any shame you carry is a trick of the enemy to keep you caged. 
• Who do I know who will have my back and help me walk through forgiveness? 
• This is not a one-and-done process.  Forgiveness from God to us is daily – forgiveness from us to others is also daily.  

To reach Jay Cookingham or any of his books, including the one we talked through today: Uncaged Living a Life of Freedom resources, go to:  https://jaycookingham.com/books/

Just a reminder these podcasts are released on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.   For additional podcasts go to: https://mensministrycatalyst.org/podcasts/