Hail Thetan! Despite Our Lawyer Advising Us Otherwise, We’re Crossing the Bridge, Getting In Touch With Our Thetan Roots and Enrolling in the World's Weirdest Correspondence Course: Scientology. The Guys Get Out of the Gate In a Brisk 15 Minutes Only to Jump the Rails Shortly Thereafter and Never Look Back. Debit Card Required, Intelligence Optional.

Standards: What’s In the Glass? Local Color (Ed or ED? FEMA Gives NC the Finger, These States Just Ain’t Right, Little Billy Loses His Phone), Flat Ending.

Tangents: Corrections (Yoda Old as Hell, Bamboo in Bhutan). Taxpayers Clean Up at the Curb. Duncan Puts A Paw on the Scale. You’re Reaching Here. Let the Panties Hit the Floor. Sleep For Days. Dinner at Dahmers Featuring Marilyn and Charles Manson. Horsebaby. Regurgitating Risky IP. Rising Fallen Stars. Casey Jones Goes Dark. Sliding Scale Salvation. You Know You’re Impressed. Read the Room. Toyota Ruins the Tacoma. Pre Columbus Predation. Working On Our Deathbed. Cool It, Darth. Squat and Pop One Out. This Much a Socialist. Healthcare Hellscape. Eat It, Stupid Cow. Political Polarity. Food or Pointless?

Main: E Meter Test. Buying In. You Have to Name Names. Initial Audit. Anal Burdock. You’re A Shiny 8 Pointed Star. Making a MEST. What’s the Symbology Here? You Can Nail 2 Jesuses To Our Cross. Getting on the Boat. L Ron Before Enron. Does Insurance Cover Salvation? Zenu Isn’t Just a Vienna Sausage. Bombed Out of the Stone Age.

The Guys Go Looking for the Things That Go Bump In the Night. Monster Mashing, Ghost Hunting and Investing in Cryptid Currencies are all on the table tonight. The Train Leaves the Station Predictably Late and Goes Off the Rails as Always. Sharpen Your Pencils and Play Along at Home as the Guys Quiz all Over the Place.

Standards: What’s In the Glass? Local Color (Sasquatch USA, The Quizzler, The Cornducky Derby). Another Bad Ending.

Tangents: Thank God I’m a Country Boy. Everything In Its Place. Too Many Murders. Who Audits the Auditors? Thor's Hammer. Our Brand is Boring. Dope Smoking Gunslingers. Drink From the Gourd, Tell the Truth. Gladys Needs 3 Apples to Live. The Squatch are Here to Help. The South Tunes Out. Fish Don’t Have Eyebrows. Turns Out Nature’s Not That Interesting. The Gaping God Gap. Capping Birds. Your Pole; It’s Too Big. Don’t Part the Kimono. No Big Surprise, JJ Abrams Blew It.

Main: Pop Quiz Hot Shot - What Have You Run Afoul Of? Sasquatch Is Armed and Ready to Vote. Cryptid Quiz - Expert Edition. Can Anyone Here Keep Count? Stairway to Heaven. RFK Ok’s the COC. Gods are Monsters. There’s Gold in Them There Monsters. How Many Legs Does a Cat Need? Our Favorite Beasts. Cryptids Keep The Peace. Co-Opting Cryptids. Collect Call From the Netherworld.

Another string of warp speed digressions away from a central topic: Sequels, Prequels and Reboots. And it only takes the guys 35 mins to get there!

Standards: The Boys Blow the Cold Opening, What’s in the Glass, Local Color - Blood Red Edition (Affordable Housing Development, Big Orange Road Rage, Fun With Chainsaws)

Tangents: Words Hurt - Offensive Language Fails to Offend, Proper Pronunciation, Mount Olive’s Annual Ditch Pickle, Elmo Engages in the World's Oldest Profession, Getting God on the Line, They Turned Me Into a Newt Gingrich, Fish Fucker, Inevitably Nick Cage, Updating a 30 Year Old Resume, Everybody Just Wants to Fuck Everything, RFK Drops a Deuce, Building the Bridge

Main Topic: Trek, Tolkien, King, The Muppets (Babies and Otherwise), and More Take Shots. MCU in the ICU? GOT Out Over Its Skis? Multiverse = Moneyverse? What Does CW Even Stand For? THE SHOT HEARD ROUND THE WORLD? What Property Would You Milk?

The Guys take the Long Way to a Star Far, Far Away that’s Hopefully Habitable in a Generation Ship of their Own Making. Where Will We Go, How Long Will It Take, and How Will We Waste Our Time on the Way? Sex, Drugs, Rock n Roll or Science and Innovation? Who Gets to Go and Whose Driving This Thing Anyway? Someone or Something With a Lead Foot Because We Get to the Point in a Trim 30 Minutes.

Standards: What’s In the Glass? Local Color - Drugs and Dead Baby Edition (Overdose Free Days, Billboards and Bong Hits). Am I the Asshole (AITA) - You’d Let Me Be Homeless?

Tangents: We Were Roomates? What Do We the People Demand? The School of Pure Thought. Dire Wolves and Dino Chickens. Who the Hell is Edward James Olmos? We Still Don’t Understand Fractions. Uncovering the 12th Amendment Conspiracy. Happy Ending Haptics. Can We Still Kill Stuff Safely In Space? Name Dropping Dead Philosophers. GMOs, Oh No? Stop Assimilating Your Food.

Main: Where the Hell Are We Going? Pump the Brakes Stupid Monkeys; We Shouldn’t Be Going Anywhere. Science Fiction or Science Fact? Intergalactic Explorers or Cosmic Refugees? Fuel Economy Standards. It’s Gonna Take How Long? Funeral and Family Planning and Avoiding the Pakled Pitfall. Get Born and Get a Job or Get Spaced. Going Underground. AI Takes the Wheel. The Ebb and Flow of History as Told by They That Survive. How Will We Get High? Getting Laid or Getting Milked, What’s the Difference to AI? AI’s Red Line Protocols (What Could Possibly Go Wrong?). We’re Not Making It. Rebirth, Reboot or Immortality? This Bunker Brought to You By. We’re Stuck Here, Call it a Win Anyway.

We’re diving right into the Big V. Hide the women and children cause the guys are going Viking. As usual, they beat around the bush before getting down to business, but what fun is pillage and plunder without a little foreplay? It’s all fun and games until Matt spoils the mood with his book learning.

Standards: What’s In the Glass? Is that a Boot? Local Color - On the Road Edition (Crate your kids, dirt roads on the rise, Hometown USA for sale by owners)

Tangents: Mead Mind Eraser. Milk Punch! Where Does Chile Get Those Wonderful Toys? What Are We Gonna Do With All These Kids? Voter Disenfranchisement Dragnet. Snow Storm Death Wish. All Hail the House of Mouse. Paint it Again or Die. This Much a Fascist. Switch to The Witcher. Why Does Eugenics Keep Coming Up? Don’t You Be My Neighbor. Are We Nerds? We’re Ramblers, We’re Gamblers, Leave Us Alone. Habla Español. Leather Daddy. Burn Your Own House Down. Ever Been to BJ’s? Shop till You Drop.

Main: How Long Has the Big V Been Hot? Name That Viking. That’s Mr. Viking to You. Black Forest Flight. Bogged Down. Don’t Rune This For Me. We’re Down With BBT. Charlie's War. Irish Spring. Viking Death Drive. Live and Let Die. Drinking Mead at the Foot of Mount Vesuvius. What the Hell Was Hella Up To? The Tank Tolman Variety Hour. Manly Men of the 21st Century. Nerd Bullies Ain’t No Little Bitches. Getting Married and Settling Down. Viking is a Business and Business is Good. Pick Hammers Up and Put Them Down.

Mr. Viking: https://www.story.com/ai-stories/ai-adventure-stories/the-legend-of-mr-viking

It’s the Pilot episode, our first time, so please be gentle. The guys actually get right to it, the Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon (UAP) hearings on capital hill. Bergen, Burchett, Daggum Bullshit. UFO or UAP, call it whatever you like so long as we get paid.

Standards: Local Color - Holy Roller Edition (God only needed 10 commandments, hometown USA open survey). What’s In the Glass?

Tangents: Who even needs healthcare? You can’t park here. Casting the caucus. Pressing our luck. Alienating global super powers. Killer coolers from outer space. X gonna give it to ya. How do you spell sarcasm? Love your library. School days past. Is earth for sale? Taking ET for granted. Sports balls and skepticism. Smoking with the stoics in our matrix. Seeing stars. Musk is not an ox, he’s an alien. Goodnight John Boy.

Main: Call to order. Elmo needs a drink. Panel introductions. Tic Toc, Tic Tac, Bubblegum. The Grusch: smooth solo operator sent from the future or full bird brain? Fishing from a skiff. Grusch gotta get paid, Burchett wanna get laid. I’m not a UFO person. Fox in the henhouse. Who invited this pirate? Rich people being relatable. AOC enables notifications. Just send Brad an email. Johnny Knoxville goes to Washington. UFOs? Not really, no. You can tell us, you can trust us. Handpicking the UAP advisory panel. I'm just here for the insider trading. Is there anybody out there who wants our stuff?