Most of us were either raised in a chaotic household and had first-hand experience with conflict, or we were raised to avoid our problems and swap our feelings under the rug. 

Both scenarios prime us for disconnection from ourselves. Learning how to think for ourselves begins with being able to withstand all of our feelings, especially the unpleasant ones. 

We seek out what is familiar to us. A household filled with arguments, unpredictability, instability will most likely lead us to (subconsciously) seek out people, places, and things that remind us of the chaos. Now, logically that makes no sense right? Why would anyone seek out chaos? Because it’s comfortable. It’s familiar. It’s safe. And even though we tell ourselves we don’t like the drama, our nervous system is used to the ups and downs. In fact, peace feels more uncomfortable than chaos does. 

This is a bold statement to make, but I’m going to say it.

Every single problem we experience has a solution and it all starts with saying no to the chaos.

Most people deal with their problems by freaking out and worrying about the worst case scenario, which inevitably sends them into a downward spiral of darkness and doubt. We look to who we can blame and point fingers at. The solution is by asking the right question— “How am I responsible for this?” or “How did I create this and what do I need to do to solve this?”

And because we’re addicted to chaos, worry, anxiety, and trying to control the crap out of everything in our lives, we don’t ever really seek a viable solution. We stay stuck in the never-ending cycle of drama, chaos, and worry—only to feel defeated, small, and powerless. 

Only through stillness, self-reflection, and questioning our thoughts can we begin to notice our beliefs and behavioral patterns.

LINKS MENTIONED:

Join the MIND Your Own Business community: vasavikumar.com/membership

Follow Vasavi on Instagram: @mynameisvasavi

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

Resources + Links

Join The Out Loud School
Explore more of my work
Read my book, Say It Out Loud