Addressing the ELEPHANT in the Room®

Clarifying Evidence, with April Ballestero

April Ballestero is a leadership expert and the founder of One Light Ahead, a coaching agency that helps business leaders shine at their brightest. With two decades of coaching experience, April knows exactly how to help business leaders achieve their full potential and become more effective, more energized and more enthusiastic in their interactions with their teams, clients, families and communities.

What you will learn in this episode:

• The new theme for this season of Addressing the Elephant in the Room is Clarifying Evidence
• How One Light Ahead defines “Clarifying Evidence” and how it shows up in our lives
• How to assess, reassess, and clarify the evidence that drives you forward
• The importance of “owning where you stand” in your faith
• The skill of being able to face all evidence, even the evidence that exposes our shortcomings
• The gift of being able to forgive yourself after reassessing your evidence and moving forward with clarity

Resources:

• Pre-Order Slaying the Onion (2nd edition) now: https://www.kaleidoscopebooks.net/books
• Schedule a Zoom meeting with Coach April and her strategy team: https://calendly.com/onelightacademy/
• For more episodes on mindset and leadership, visit: onelightacademy.net/addressing-the-elephant 

Chris Lord has successfully built several Management Consulting businesses in Southern California, most recently as the General Manager for Slalom Consulting, where he led the Practice’s growth from under $2 million in 2010 to $30 million in 2015. After ‘retirement’ in Dec of 2015, he founded his own firm, Bridge Builder Coaching, to help Military Veterans through tough transitions in their lives. Bridge Builder Coaching helps Veterans transition out of Military service and into the corporate world through personal 1-on-1 coaching, assessments, networking, introductions, and facilitation.

What you will learn in this episode:

• How our fears align us and bind us together
• What fears we have that resonate with everyone
• How to connect and resonate with more people
• What Chris believes about having only one purpose
• How to build bridges after experiencing a struggle as a leader
• What is the Honor Foundation program

Resources:

• Connect with Chris on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/clord1/ 

This is a revisited episode from Season 4, Episode 1.

Chris Lord has successfully built several Management Consulting businesses in Southern California, most recently as the General Manager for Slalom Consulting, where he led the Practice’s growth from under $2 million in 2010 to $30 million in 2015. After ‘retirement’ in Dec of 2015, he founded his own firm, Bridge Builder Coaching, to help Military Veterans through tough transitions in their lives. Bridge Builder Coaching helps Veterans transition out of Military service and into the corporate world through personal 1-on-1 coaching, assessments, networking, introductions, and facilitation.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why Chris's Elephant is the question "how do you put everything into your professional passion and still deliver the best of yourself outside your work?"
• Why it's important to find the right balance and not bury yourself in your profession even if you love what you’re doing
• Why everyone has an ego, and why your ego plays a big role in stepping into your passion without letting it overwhelm you
• How Chris's current role helping Military vets switch gears to find their new lives mirrors his own efforts to find balance and follow his calling
• Why listening to the people around him helps Chris stay grounded, and why you should read "The Trusted Advisor" by David Maister, Charles Green and Robert Galford
• Why fear causes people to focus on themselves instead of others, and why it's important to attain a balance between selflessness and selfishness in your relationships
• How Chris recognizes his fear of not being accepted, and how he has worked to overcome his fear
• Why Chris has realized that it's important to allow himself to be vulnerable and trust in others not to tear him down

Resources:

Connect with Chris Lord on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/clord1/

Jordan White is an avowed introvert, experienced leader, and Self-Leadership coach. Driven by his passion for creating a world with less pain and suffering, he takes immense pride in providing compassionate and inspiring coaching services to current and aspiring leaders who tend to identify as inward, radically humble, cerebral, quiet, and introverted. As a Self-Leadership coach, his goals include helping his clients maximize their scientifically-validated thinking assets while minimizing their thinking biases. He provides clients with the tools and a safe space to explore their unique path of least resistance to their success while simultaneously contributing to building a society of Valuegenic Leaders.

What you will learn in this episode:

• How assumptions show up both as receivers and givers of information
• The trickle-down effect that leaders initiate when they make assumptions
• How you can be sure you have the necessary tools to assess your own perspective
• Why defining values and expectations is so important in successful communication in your relationships
• How asking questions is the remedy to making dangerous assumptions
• Some misconceptions and assumptions around introversion 
• Why you should intentionally add compassion and curiosity to your perspective

Resources:

• Find more episodes of Addressing the Elephant in the Room here: https://onelightacademy.net/addressing-the-elephant-in-the-room/
• Reach Jordan via email: [email protected]
• Visit Jordan’s website: www.jordanwhitecoaching.com

At HireMyVA.com, Dave helps people to reclaim their business freedom through hiring and thriving with virtual assistants via multiple courses and a community, as well as a White Glove service that finds amazing VAs from the Philippines.  He also partners with Larry Broughton, CEO of broughtonHOTELS on not only HireMyVA, but on several projects and businesses, including coaching and masterminding, and has consulted with hundreds of entrepreneurs these last few years, including many businesses run by military veterans. Finally, at Pro Website Creators (PWC), Dave loves to work with clients to help their websites be the hub of their marketing wheel! He's invested years learning the technical aspects of WordPress web design, e-commerce, as well as writing copy to help make client's messages clear and not confusing. PWC’s mission is “Helping super-busy entrepreneurs who value growing their business over figuring out the technical stuff.” 

Prior to all of this, Dave worked at a semiconductor company for almost 30 years, led teams across multiple continents and holds six patents. He also has co-created several iPhone apps. Dave enjoys spending time with his wife, working out, attending Mariners Church in Irvine, CA, bringing inspiring messages into the inmates at the Orange County Jails, and is a certified John Maxwell team coach. He's married to his amazing wife of 39+ years, Cheryl, who recently retired from being Chief Program Officer at Irvine Public Schools Foundation, and has two grown sons, one daughter-in-law, and one amazing grandson!

What you will learn in this episode:

• Hiring a VA actually requires that you address two major elephants: lack of trust and fear that you lack experience
• Trust is always a requirement when bringing someone new into your business, so it’s important to have systems to verify that they’re trustworthy
• Many business owners don’t realize their vision is actually impossible to achieve on their own; a true business requires a team. “A business is a profitable enterprise that works with or without you… if it’s dependent on you, then you have a job.”
• Why Dave started HireMyVA.com and how it helps address a challenge that many business owners face 
• How to maximize your Virtual Assistant experience using a 3-step approach

Resources:

• HireMyVA Website: https://www.HireMyVA.com
• Twitter: @hiremyva1
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HireMyVA/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thedavebraun/
• Visit One Light Ahead's Website: https://onelightacademy.net
• For more episodes, visit https://onelightacademy.net/addressing-the-elephant

Richard Hall is the founder of BottomLine Lawyers, PC. He has a unique breadth of experience which has enabled him to meld technology, sophisticated legal analysis, “outside the box” strategies and a collaborative style to create innovative solutions with his clients. Richard attended law school at the University of La Verne and was admitted to the California Bar in 1988 and the Federal Bar in 1989. Many lawyers come to the law without any practical business experience, and few come with significant management experience. Through serendipity rather than design, Richard is an exception. His prior business experience afforded him a fast track to complex civil trials and the opportunity to work closely with business clients. Richard is also a licensed California Real Estate Broker and has performed feasibility analysis of investment projects, including historic preservation district qualified buildings. 

Richard performs pro bono services for several Northern California judicial districts, is a Past President of the Auburn Chamber of Commerce, former Board member of the Downtown Business Association, and member of: Rotary Club of Auburn, Placer County Bar Association, Sacramento Valley Bankruptcy Forum, National Association of Consumer Bankruptcy Attorneys (NACBA) and American Bankruptcy Institute (ABI). He has also served as California Director for a nationwide bar review and as a lecturer focused on Professional Responsibility. Before attending law school Richard was an executive in the photographic and real estate industries and he conducted performance and budget analysis for the US Government’s Amraam missile project. Richard has also served his country and is a veteran of the United States Air Force.

What you will learn in this episode:

• How fear and overwhelm tend to affect small business owners at a higher rate 
• Encouragement and advice for type-A personalities that struggle with perfectionism 
• How the elephants of fear and overwhelm grow when they are not addressed
• The necessity of earning trust before helping someone address their own elephants
• Why Richard has adopted the term “Action kills fear” and how it has helps him stop feeding this elephant
• Some practical ways you can declutter your mind and prioritize your tasks

Resources:

• Website: www.bottomlinelawyers.com
• Twitter: @bottomlinelaw   https://twitter.com/bottomlinelaw
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BottomLineLawyers/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bottomlinelawyerspc/
• Change or Die by Alan Deutschman (recommended reading from this episode)

****PARENTAL ADVISORY WARNING**** This week’s podcast episode contains adult subjects and may not be appropriate for all ages. Please listen with discretion as we dive into a topic that truly is an elephant in many rooms: pornography. Barb Winters is a pastor’s wife and parent of four adult children, one of whom is a recovering pornography addict. She’s a hopeful mom supporting parents in a world of pornography and online relationships through her writing and speaking engagements. Barb is a real mom who has dealt with a real problem facing families today. As a certified Sexual Risk Avoidance Specialist, she teaches preteens and teens at local schools how to avoid risky behaviors and make healthy choices. Her book, working title of Healthy Relationships in a Hookup World, will be released in August 2023. Connect with Barb on Facebook or Instagram or through her website, hopefulmom.net. Subscribe to receive updates on her book and a FREE PDF: 7 Steps After Your Child Sees Porn.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why Barb has a heart to address this elephant and how it has shown up in her life
• There is a need for support, especially for parents, when children fall into this addiction
• The objectifying and degrading nature of pornography and the effect it has on viewers
• Why early intervention is so important with this elephant
• The benefits of doing your research and having open conversations as a parent addressing this subject
• Why it’s necessary to remove shame and guilt as parents so that you can help support and guide your children through these tough subjects

Resources:

• Visit Barb’s Website: https://hopefulmom.net
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/difficultconversationsforparents
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/difficult.conversations/
• LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/barb-winters-b146882a/
• For more episodes, visit: onelightacademy.net/addressing-the-elephant

April Ballestero is a leadership expert and the founder of One Light Ahead, a coaching agency that helps business leaders shine at their brightest. With two decades of coaching experience, April knows exactly how to help business leaders achieve their full potential and become more effective, more energized and more enthusiastic in their interactions with their teams, clients, families and communities.

What you will learn in this episode:

• The trigger-response that occurs often when meeting new people
• A peek back through some of our previous podcast episodes where our guests have shared their experiences with trigger responses and reactions
• What it means to jump layers and the danger of “jumping layers” in an introductory conversation 
• Why the One Light Ahead connection tools were created and how they’re intended to improve communication and your ability to “peel layers” in your relationships
• The psychology behind first impressions and how they affect your interactions 
• The importance of taking the time to “look in the mirror” so you can offer more value in your networking conversations
• Why responding is often a better choice than reacting

Resources:

• Website: https://onelightacademy.net
• Register for an online course here: https://onelightacademy.com 
• Register for our FREE monthly group coaching + Q&A session: onelightacademy.net/love-what-you-do-again 

Previous Podcasts referenced in this episode:

• Ron Toye’s podcast episode: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/7795123c-7c13-4adf-872f-27f2b34c4a0c
• Jay Papasan’s podcast episode: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/8af458bf-fe76-4ac3-bc2d-586e79e703e6 
• Christy Conner’s podcast episode: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/9e4dcedf-1e62-43ef-9e7a-8f1d6952ed56 
• Chris Heller’s podcast episode: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/e15c3a62-7ac6-41bd-b80f-3af5b28a36b6 

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Mitch Gray has combined over two decades of experience as a former pastor, life coach, entrepreneur, community developer, and creator to develop a brand of leadership that is at its deepest level- human.

Taking his heart for inspiring others and his passion for empowering leaders, Mitch teaches business leaders how to recruit great people, develop top talent and design empowering culture.

Mitch is the creator and host of The Mitch Gray Show podcast, author, leadership consultant and a highly regarded speaker.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Mitch’s personal history with this elephant and how it has shaped his current mission
• The spiritual-emotional-mental health connection and how it shows up in the workplace
• The danger of today’s silence around men and mental health and how you can do you part to improve it 
• The tell-tale signs of someone dealing with anxiety and depression
• The danger of merely venting or gossiping when seeking connection
• How to make an impact for yourself and others by starting with love and leading with your humanity

Resources:

• Order How to Hire and Keep Great People: https://amzn.to/3ARO2yt
• Take How to Hire and Great People the course: https://bit.ly/3BTx847
• Subscribe to The Mitch Gray Show: https://themitchgrayshow.fireside.fm
• Connect with Mitch on Linkedin: linkedin.com/in/mitchgraymedia

Addressing Addiction and Recovery, with Jodie Stevens

Jodie Stevens is a 30-year radio veteran, producer, commercial voice-over artist, audiobook narrator and host of several mental health and recovery blogs and podcasts: “Genuine Life Recovery” and “Recovery and Company” both on iTunes, Spotify, Tune in, Audible and most apps. She is currently the Media Director for the Life Change Center providing treatment to individuals struggling with opioid and pill addiction. Jodie has an MA in Leadership and is currently working on her second Master’s degree in Addiction counseling.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Jodie’s personal connection and her heart behind addressing this elephant 
• The importance of reducing shame around addiction in the family
• The connection between addiction and codependency within the family 
• The split that occurs between the different approaches to addiction and recovery, and why unity in this area is so important
• Why Jodie believes there is no right or wrong way to recover from addiction
• The dangerous physical progression of the disease and how addiction chemically alters the brain
• How beginning the conversation around addiction can help alleviate some tension and make a positive impact for those still struggling

Resources:

• Website: https://jodiestevens.org/
• Jodie's Podcast: www.thelifechangecenter.org/podcast/