Episode summary

ADHD is often discussed as an attention issue—but for many young people, the hardest part is emotional dysregulation, overwhelm, and the shame that can follow big reactions. In this episode, Andrew speaks with Neve Phillips, founder of Solace, about how ADHD shows up differently across ages, why triggers can hit “faster and harder,” and what practical in-the-moment tools can help teens and pre-teens regulate, refocus, and reconnect with joy.

About Neve

Neve Phillips is the founder of Solace, “an app for ADHD brains” offering five-minute, in-the-moment resets using tiny guided tools you can do anywhere. Diagnosed with ADHD herself after misdiagnosis and years of masking, she built Solace while studying philosophy at King’s College London and turned lived experience and nervous system research into practical tools for emotional regulation and interrupting doomscrolling.

In this episode

1. What ADHD is (and the different presentations: inattentive, hyperactive, combined), plus the strengths Neve wants people to remember.
2. Why diagnosis rates may be rising: better recognition (especially in women), and the “family discovery” effect.
3. How ADHD can change with age: from more external hyperactivity in childhood to internal struggles (anxiety/depression) as demands increase in teens and young adults.
4. Emotional dysregulation: emotions arriving “faster and harder,” impulsive reactions, and the shame spiral afterward.
5. Triggers that can derail the day: time pressure, disruption, sensory overload, and rejection sensitivity / perceived criticism.
6. A powerful parenting insight: “nice surprises” can accidentally disrupt a teen’s focus and create misattunement on both sides.
7. Solace explained: selecting a “state,” mapping to the autonomic nervous system, then delivering a targeted five-minute intervention across music/media/activities/suggestions.
8. Practical, real-life tools: hot/cold therapy (ice on the neck), progressive muscle relaxation, chewing gum for focus, and breaking tasks into tiny steps (Neve’s post-it note method).

Key takeaways

1. ADHD isn’t rare: Neve cites an estimate of ~5% of children globally with ADHD (diagnosed), and highlights that many remain undiagnosed.
2. Emotions matter as much as attention: emotional dysregulation can be central—and it’s often under-discussed.
3. Build “in-the-moment” supports: under stress, working memory and access to coping tools can collapse—so having a ready-made toolkit helps bridge the gap.
4. Small tools beat willpower: tiny interventions (temperature shifts, muscle release, micro-steps) can create momentum and reduce overwhelm.

Resources & links

• Parent Training in Behavior Management for ADHD | Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) | CDC
• CHADD Women & girls with ADHD:
• Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
• Solace - ADHD Help in 5 | Instagram, Facebook, TikTok | Linktree
• Google Play:
• ‎Solace - ADHD Help in 5 App
• ‎Solace - ADHD Help in 5 App - App Store

App Store/Google Play: "Solace – ADHD Help in 5”

Link to both stores: https://solaceapp.app/click

Individual Link to App Store: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/solace-app/id6744309865

Individual Link to Play Store: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.neve.solace&pcampaignid=web_share

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/OfficialSolaceApp

Socials: @officialsolaceapp on Instagram and TikTok

1) General ADHD overview (NIH / NIMH):

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd

2) Women & girls with ADHD (CHADD – major ADHD nonprofit):

https://chadd.org/for-adults/women-and-girls/

3) Parents: how to help kids (CDC – parent training / behavior management):

https://www.cdc.gov/adhd/treatment/behavior-therapy.html

Share your story / get involved

If you’re inspired by this conversation and want to help tackle the children’s mental health crisis, visit eqjoy.org to find out how you can contribute.