ADOPTION NOW

This story is told from the invaluable perspective of Kathy Mackecheny, who is an adoption-competent therapist. She knows what it's like to be an adoptee and to have burning questions about finding the truth of one's unique narrative.

Key Links

• Kathy's Therapy Practice: https://www.adopteetherapy.com/
• Contact her at: [email protected]

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She answers questions about the right way to approach communication with your adopted child, the importance of openness, and other important aspects of the adoption experience.

Her story is full of surprises, interesting nuggets of information, and overall a testament to the connective power of adoption and how it can pave the way for reconnection.

In This Episode of ADOPTION NOW

• Information on Oklahoma adoptions and 'closed states'.
• The importance of treating your child like an adoptee as well as a part of the family.
• On the communication role that adoptive parents have.
• The importance of staying open with your children.
• The steps she took to reconnect with her birth parents.
• Information on her birth parents and their stories.
• How Kathy came to be an adoption-competent therapist.

More details at: https://adoptionnow.com/podcast/how-being-adopted-led-to-becoming-an-adoption-therapist-kathy-mackechenys-story/

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

Veronica has a varied perspective on adoption. As a child welfare professional, Veronica was called to fight for the rights of traumatized and broken children. Through that calling, she worked with adoption and foster care.

Key Links

• The organization Veronica currently works for: https://www.wayfinderfamily.org/

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At first, she had no idea she'd end up adopting. After three years of trying for pregnancy, Veronica and her husband pursued IUI and were successful! God had also called Veronica to go through foster care. He gave her a sign and before they knew it, they said yes to a baby girl.

After fostering her, having a biological daughter, and then later adopting another boy, Veronica now has a full house. In this story, she gets honest about the struggles as well as the countless blessings that adoption has brought her family.

In This Episode of ADOPTION NOW

• Perspectives on adoption from a social worker.
• On frustrations and empathy towards birth parents.
• What it like to go through foster care.
• Why resources like ADOPTION NOW is so important for new adoptive parents.
• How God has worked in Veronica's life.
• Loving your biological child the same as your adopted child.
• The struggles of reunification when you attach to a child.

More details at:

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

Natalie was here in 2017, when she shared the story of her first adoption and just how smoothly everything worked out during that whole process.

Key Links

• Natalie and Stephen's Story from Season 2

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Fast forwarding to the past year, Natalie had a second adoption which would prove to be more chaotic than the first. Although she was weathered the storm and is enjoying her beautiful baby boy, Adam, her story is still hard to relive.

Her experiences with Adam's adoption can also function as a cautionary episode. After everything she went through, you should take note of what Natalie has to say on her experience with agencies, lawyers, and child services.

In This Episode of ADOPTION NOW

• A discussion and reminder of the high cost of adoption.
• The risks of not being involved with an agency.
• Important information on private infant adoption.
• Why hiring an adoption lawyer specifically is crucial.
• What Natalie describes as the most difficult day of her life.
• A brief explanation of 'agency states', and why it's important to know if your state is an agency state.
• How this story can help us avoid the occasional chaotic adoption.
• An exciting announcement at the end of the episode!

More details at:

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

Involved in a seemingly healthy open adoption with a birth mother named Elizabeth Jones, Matt and Laura were ecstatic that they had found the right mom. But things were not as they seemed.

Key Links

• A Sibling for Hudson

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Even though they had been confronted with a few red flags and ignored some aspects of the open adoption that they pegged as strange, Matt and Laura gave Elizabeth the benefit of the doubt.

This episode is full of twists and turns and is a cautionary story for all adoptive parents to seek proof of pregnancy!

In This Episode of ADOPTION NOW

• Why Matt and Laura decided against an agency at first.
• How their website connected them to Elizabeth.
• The importance of having your lawyer sign paperwork that allows for crucial medical documents.
• Details on why adoptive parents should always get proof of pregnancy.
• On the prevalence of adoption scams.
• Elizabeth's prosecution and charges.
• Words of advice from Matt and Laura on why those who commit adoption fraud should be held accountable!

More details at: https://adoptionnow.com/podcast/adoption-scam-matt-laura-traytes-devastating-story/

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

This episode of ADOPTION NOW is told from the perspective of Erica Shields. As she shares in the episode, she has never really told anyone her full story before, so this is special for all of us.

Key Links

• Erica Sheilds on Facebook
• The Kempe Center For The Prevention and Treatment of Child Abuse and Neglect

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For many years, Erica didn't have all of the answers. Since she was seven years old though, she was obsessed with finding every detail of her story: who her biological parents were, the details of her birth that weren't openly discussed, her real name, and why her original adoptive parents gave her back to be placed in foster care.

With charm and a likable lightheartedness, Erica recounts some of the most tragic moments of her life, as well how grateful she is to just be alive and to have been adopted.

In This Episode of ADOPTION NOW

• What it was like for Erica to have a Japanese mother and Caucasian father.
• The moment she first realized she was adopted.
• On being Mormon and how that helped drive her search for her genealogical roots.
• How she ended up getting the information about her adoption.
• The challenges of searching for biological parents and the emotional response this can elicit from adoptive parents.
• On cultural differences between siblings.
• Erica meets her biological mother.
• Her advice to listeners.

More details at: https://adoptionnow.com/podcast/mrs-colorado-2016-erica-shields-amazing-adoption-story-s5e9/

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

Three years! Wow, what a journey it has been so far for April and Noah Fallon. Starting from a radio show with a small domestic following to a now international reach, Host April and her husband Noah reminisce about the overall evolution of ADOPTION NOW.

Key Links

• One of April's favorite ADOPTION NOW stories: Nellya, Adopting a Baby from India

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April and Noah both share the hardships and the mostly-joyous moments of their adoption journey, leading to their reinforced position that yes, adoption is incredibly life-changing, but at the same time, not easy at all.

Within the episode, they answer the questions of listeners, share their favorite moments of the show, and get candid about their views that have changed, and those that have not.

In This Episode of ADOPTION NOW

• April and Noah share their favorite ADOPTION NOW moments.
• Your questions and comments are addressed!
• On Christianity and religion in the adoption experience.
• How adoption is a constant learning experience.
• Advice for those who are waiting for their child.
• How adoption will change you in a positive way if you let it!

More details at: https://adoptionnow.com/podcast/celebrating-3-years-of-adoption-now

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

This episode is all about adult adoptee Jackie Bradfield and her experience with trying to connect with her birth parents. She states that reaching out to her birth parents is to learn more about her overall story.

Key Links

• To contact Jackie for therapy: [email protected]

• Her Agape Mental Health webpage

• Sarah Winger's ADOPTION NOW episode (referenced)

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Because she had amazing adoptive parents, she stresses that she grew up with strong parental anchors in her life. But because she has not learned her full story--the perspective of her birth family--she has made it her quest to reconnect with her biological parents for closure and to learn more about herself in the process.

Within the episode, Jackie shares the autobiographical details that led to her finding ADOPTION NOW, the struggles of reconnection, and much more!

In This Episode of ADOPTION NOW

• On the need to search for your birth parents no matter how amazing your adoptive parents are.
• Details on Jackie's acceptance of being adopted as a child and adult.
• Common perceptions that individuals have towards adoptees.
• The birth parent reconnection process that Jackie underwent.
• How she used DNA testing to locate her birth father.
• On finding closure amidst the unknown elements of reconnection.
• The importance of cultivating an adoption community for adoptees.

More details at: https://adoptionnow.com/podcast/helping-adoptees-find-their-birth-parents-and-understanding-their-journey-the-jackie-bradfield-story/

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

Today, on this little recap episode of ADOPTION NOW, Reshma's story is analyzed by April and Noah Fallon.

Key Links

• Last week's episode featuring Reshma McClintock
• John DeYoung's first appearance in Season 1
• John DeYoung's second appearance in Season 3

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Because of the complexity of the Reshma's story and her take on adoption, both hosts wanted to take some time and delve a bit deeper into the topics that were discussed.

In This Episode of ADOPTION NOW

• John DeYoung, a South Korean adoptee, shares his reactions to Reshma's story and talks about his own.
• The importance of letting every adoptee establish their own voice and narrative.
• Why noticing the adoptee and respecting their comforts and discomforts is essential for better parenting and communication.
• The pitfalls of the 'hero mentality' for adoptive parents.
• John talks about the practice of 'discovering your child' to fully respect them.

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

Today we are joined by Reshma McClintock. She's a writer, an adoptee from India, and the focal point of the new documentary Calcutta is my Mother.

Key Links

• Information for Calcutta is my Mother: http://calcuttafilm.com/
• Reshma's website: https://writtenbyresh.com/

• Her Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/writtenbyresh/

• Her Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/reshma_mcclintock/

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She sits down with April and Noah to share some of the best, most impactful experiences she's had with adoption. But to balance out the entire story, she also provides the more challenging aspects of her life, ranging from her identity crisis as an Indian woman who only identified as being white, to the culture and heritage she left behind when she was adopted.

All in all, Reshma is an amazing woman and a shining example of just how important it is to share these adoption stories.

In This Episode of ADOPTION NOW

• Reshma's parents and their decision to adopt
• Her adoption from Calcutta
• The different components of grief as it relates to adoption
• On the importance of communication between parents and adoptees
• The dichotomy of conflicting good and bad emotions that adoptees often feel
• How children often save the parents and not the other way around
• Reshma's incredible return to Calcutta
• More details on the film Calcutta is my Mother

More details at: https://adoptionnow.com/podcast/calcutta-is-my-mother-reshma-mcclintocks-adoption-story/

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

Glenn Morey has worked in film since 1981—as a writer, creative director, and a commercial and documentary filmmaker for many years. His documentary "Side by Side" is an Official Selection of the San Diego Asian Film Festival (organized by Pacific Arts Movement), and the Boston Asian American Film Festival, among many other awards.

Key Links

• Website: sidebysideproject.com
• FB: facebook.com/SidebySideDocumentary/
• Twitter: @sidebysideproj

Glenn's personal story, as an inter-country adoptee from South Korea, was the initial motivating and creative force behind "Side by Side." And in this interview, he delves into his own experience to build upon many common elements of the South Korean adoption experience.

What follows in this podcast is a really interesting and layered talk on the complexity of the adoption experience for many South Koreans, and how giving them a platform to find their voice is so essential.

Below are some (but not all!) of the most compelling aspects of the talk, ranging from Glenn's realization that he had operated under a supplied narrative about his own racial identity, to the importance of communicating and being honest with your adopted children about the complete picture of their ethnic identity.

[#1 Some Details on Glenn's Adoption from Seoul]

• Glenn retells the details of how he came to be claimed from city hall in Seoul, later placed in an orphanage, and then how he found himself on a plane with 81 other babies to the U.S.
• This whole experience would eventually become the catalyst for "Side by Side" and would lead him to find how fortunate he had been to become adopted and have such a relatively positive experience.
• He was adopted by a loving family who lived in Littleton, Colorado. He joined 3 biological daughters, was the first of four adopted children in the family, and had multiple siblings.

[#2 Important Conversations About Race]

• Because of Glenn's experience with not having the proper amount of racial mirroring and acknowledgment during his upbringing, he didn't fully understand from a sociological and psychological perspective that he was Asian until he was in his middle age. He understood it intellectually, just not culturally.
• So when considering transracial adoptees, he wants to stress the importance of having open, honest acknowledgments about race and what is apparent to the child. Don't suppress it and don't shut out their culture for your own.
• Glenn reminds us that a good rule of thumb when having conversations about race with your child is that if you're afraid to have the conversation, you should consider having it anyways, despite the discomfort you feel because it really is that important!
• Glenn talks about how there was zero acknowledgement in his own story and he subsequently built up an identity that didn't include the most essential aspects of his story.

[#3 Film and Interview as a Platform for the Voiceless]

• After he worked through the counter-narratives of his adoptive experience in the U.S., he began to understand that his story was actually a cliche when compared with other Korean American adoptees.
• There was immense power in having that reinforcement of other South-Korean adoptees who had the same experience in America. And through interviews and what would lay the groundwork for the "Side by Side" project, Glenn gave a platform for those who hadn't shared their story virtually anyone else before. He helped them find their voice.

[#4 The Traditional Narrative of Adoption for Glenn]

• During the interview, he talks about some of the reasons for adoptees not telling their story. The most prominent one being that adoptive parents were told that assimilation into the culture had to be seamless--this generally meant that ignoring the culture of the adopted child was seen as the best way to achieve this assimilation.
• And because the standard narrative of adoption was often: "You are extremely lucky to have escaped poverty and abject conditions." Most adoptees Glenn interviewed didn't feel comfortable subverting this traditional narrative. They felt reluctant to go against that sentiment of how fortunate they were.

More details at: https://adoptionnow.com/podcast/out-of-a-south-korean-orphanage-glenn-moreys-story-about-finding-his-voice-and-creating-a-documentary

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ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media