In their pilot episode, Chris, John, Sam and special guest Rob come up with a Death Star ad campaign targeting the most misunderstood demographic of them all: dictators.

Transcript

ADTEMPTED – ADTEMPT#001 44:58

Chris  00:00

Rob, what do you want more than anything else? 

Rob  00:03

I want my children to respect me for once. 

Chris  00:06

Then I think you’re gonna like today’s product so it can travel at lightspeed. It’s got enough room for your family, and it’ll demand respect from your enemies and your children. How does that sound? 

Rob  00:17

Sounds a little too good to be true. 

Chris  00:20

Oh, it absolutely is. And we are going to make some ads for it. 

Rob  00:24

I’ve got a GOOD feeling about this.

Sam  00:29

Welcome to Adtempted where we make ads for things that don’t actually need them. I’m Sam, I make art.

Chris  00:34

I’m Chris. I make words. 

John  00:36

I’m John and I write things. 

Sam  00:38

And our special guest today is Rob. 

Rob  00:40

Hi, Rob Chester Smith. I’m an actor and writer here in LA currently sheltering in place and loving it. 

Chris  00:47

Well, we are glad to have you on Rob. So let me break this down. We are going to start by sharing some insights, then we’re going to pick a direction and ultimately we’re going to come up with a single execution that we will present to you our audience.

John  01:00

Alright, let’s jump into it. Here’s the brief. Today’s product is the Death Star, the iconic planet destroying Doomsday weapon from Star Wars, it’s large and in charge, destructive. And if you don’t know any better, you think it was just a nearby moon, almost completely indestructible. It can move at lightspeed from planet to planet and has all the resources to conquer an entire galaxy. The target for this demo will be people in power dictators, emperors, presidents, despots, you name it, we’ve got it.

Luke Skywalker  01:34

Heading for that small moon. That’s no moon.

Obi Wan  01:38

It’s a space station. 

Han Solo  01:39

It’s too big to be a space station.

Sam  01:43

Full disclaimer, we’re doing this for fun. We don’t actually like dictators, or evil people, but let’s get into it. First up. Special guests Rob 

Rob  01:52

Okay, here’s the problem I found when I really dug deep did a deep dive on the Death Star is for a lot of deathsots War sucks. it drags… they drag on forever. There’s expensive. They’re politically unpopular. The populace doesn’t like them. You know, it’s they go on and on and on. They cost there’s arguments in Congress all this stuff. Well, guess what? Now we have a Death Star. Now instead of fighting with their enemy for years at a time, boom, it’s done. Nope. war over no fuss, no muss. There’s no more enemies to cry “Oh, war crimes!” there’s no enemy at all. They’re gone. That’s what makes the Deathstar so great and so popular to a despot.  Another insight is, in this age of inclusivity we’ve overlooked something so many horrible weapons of mass destruction are phallic in nature. Think of every cannon every laser cannon every missile it’s just a bunch of penises. For boys, let’s be honest, to wave around and have penis measuring contest with their foes. Well guess what? The Deathstar is spherical. So instead of a phallic symbol, it’s an ovum. It’s ovic? ovum, uh.. symbol? it’s an egg — finally a weapon for the lady despot. We’re no longer – we’re no longer excluding half of the people in the universe. We’ve got sort of the inc